If youÕre squeamish about conversation that gets too personal, then todayÕs column isnÕt for you. IÕm talking about summer readiness (yes, I know itÕs only February) that doesnÕt involve a pedicure, a new beach bag or the latest trend in sunglasses.
IÕm talking about laser hair removal, the kind that involves a bikini line. See? ItÕs going to get personal Ñ who needs a personal shopper if it isnÕt personal, right? Ñ so if youÕre up to it, keep reading.
Be assured, IÕm not advocating water consumption from plastic bottles, nor am I suggesting we boycott the FarmersÕ Market. IÕm most certainly not cajoling naturalist Davisites to part with their body hair after all these years, but maybe a few of you will consider it if your excess coat is merely concealing a razor burn phobia.
And calm yourselves. We can still hail from Davis, the majority of our stereotypes intact, with a little more trim on the train, so to speak.
I donÕt know about you, but when dealing with laser treatment, especially Òdown there,Ó the thought is infinitely more agreeable when a doctor is involved. ThatÕs why IÕm referring you to Dr.
Susanne Powell, an internist at 1712 Picasso Ave. who combines her medical practice with other nonsurgical procedures designed to enhance your image. She also has a masterÕs degree in public health. Check out her Web site at http://www.aplusimage.com for the full listing of procedures I like to call Lunch-Hour Lipo, and then some.
Now back to the tresses.
DonÕt fret, you wonÕt be alone. ThereÕs a whole underpants movement being safely treated by Dr. Powell. And not just women either, though itÕs very convenient for us ladies to have a Pap smear and a little target practice on the same day. Obviously, men have different needs, the back being a primary objective.
The question I get most often is, ÒDoes it hurt?Ó
Does it hurt wearing 3-inch heels all day? Of course it does. Does it keep me from doing it? Not on your Stewart Weitzmans!
Like anything in life, youÕve got to take the bad with the good. Yes, it hurts like a hot rubber band snapping you hard, but then itÕs over. Just like that. Unlike waxing, thereÕs no lingering pain and the hair doesnÕt grow back in two weeks. You get to wear some really cool goggles (she thinks of everything), have a nice chat (did I mention sheÕs a great conversationalist?) and be rid of those panic-stricken moments when someone spontaneously asks you to go swimming.
After physical pain comes concern of financial pain. IÕm not going to lie to you, the bikini line isnÕt cheap, but itÕs also not as bad as you might think. The first four treatments are $169 a piece (please, no snickering), and if you need a fifth, itÕs free.
Keep in mind, you need to space them about six weeks apart, and stay out of the sun after procedures. ThatÕs why you should start in Februrary. I didnÕt say this was easy, just worth it. If you still need a touch-up here and there, remaining treatments are half off.
Think about it this way, if you wax or shave, itÕs like an interest-only loan. YouÕre repeatedly paying to get rid of something that always comes back, like Davis ants. YouÕre also adding to our landfill problem with something like fly paper covered in your hair.
So take the long view, invest in permanent hair removal, say ÒhiÓ to Yolanda, the best office manager in the business, and stop worrying. No one else will need to know why youÕre there.
On another note, IÕm looking for a good Davis optometrist serving kids and adults. Please send me your recommendations.
And finally, IÕm very sad about the loss of an icon, Julie Partansky. She was a major influence in my familyÕs decision to move here because any community that cares for amphibians as much as people is a place I want to live, and shop.
Julie had many high-profile initiatives, but I bet she didnÕt know how much she stimulated our economy. Thanks for your enduring influence and gentle spirit, Julie. You are missed.
Ñ Heidy Kellison lives and shops in Davis. Her column appears monthly. Reach her at firstname.lastname@example.org