Thursday, August 21, 2014
YOLO COUNTY NEWS
99 CENTS

While I sleep, my inhibitions fly out the window

By
August 22, 2010 |

Enterprise columnist

* EditorÕs note: Marion is on vacation. This column first ran in a slightly different form in February 2004.

In my dream, see-through vinyl shirts Ñ completely transparent Ñ are coming into fashion. Only young people wear them because it is not much different from being naked, except that if someone reaches out to touch you, they feel stiff material instead of skin.

In my dream, I am both shocked that such a clothing item has come into being, and not surprised at all, because it seems the appropriate outcome of where we have been going lately.

Then I lose my own clothes somehow, including underwear (the dream doesnÕt explain the circumstances), and IÕm wearing just a pair of shorts and one of those vinyl shirts.

As dreams will have it, IÕm in some public place, a nightclub I think, with people much younger than I. Because IÕm lost and confused and desperate to find my way home, I forget that IÕm wearing the vinyl shirt. Then the man behind the bar, the sort of person who might notice the only older woman in the room, smiles at me and says, ÒNice breasts.Ó

My jaw drops in horror as I think, ÒHow embarrassing! Why didnÕt I keep my arms in front of them?Ó

But that thought passes quickly, to be replaced by one that lingers and feels warm, like a blush. My dream-self thinks, ÒWell, you know, heÕs right. TheyÕre small but they are good looking.Ó

I stand a little taller as I leave the nightclub to find my way home.

I awaken with the bartenderÕs compliment still floating in my head.

What do I make of a dream like this? And where did it come from?

Maybe the train of thought that led to this dream began with an old issue of Time Magazine I came across recently, which had an article about Baby Boomers and sex.

Maybe the train of thought began with a moment in my own life, last week, when an attractive man with whom I have a totally platonic relationship touched my arm when he didnÕt have to.

Maybe it began when I went to see ÒThat Takes OvariesÓ a show performed by UC Davis students that was both fun and serious, amusing and gritty. Women kissed each other on stage, and since several performers were first-time actresses, I figured that some of the romance I was seeing was real. The lack of inhibition was fine with me and as interesting as all get out.

Or maybe the dream began with Janet Jackson, although I didnÕt see the Super Bowl where she had her Òwardrobe malfunction.Ó

One thing for certain, see-through shirts on fiftysomething women are unlikely to become the rage. Most women my age shy away from revealing clothing, even a bathing suit.

That doesnÕt mean our minds arenÕt active.

In fact, inside IÕm not very different from my younger self. I am just as aware of the zing in the air around me, just as eager to look at an interesting person (male or female) as I ever was. I donÕt need to touch, but I sure like to look.

Even though IÕm happily married, IÕm still very aware of men, and I recognize that they come in two kinds: the ones who only see blonds and boobs, whose sexuality is as predictable and loud as a basketball court, and the others (I hope the majority) who are attuned to more complicated stuff, who donÕt need see-through vinyl, in order to see.

The guys who were Type 1 years ago Ñ and still are Ñ will never notice me. And the men I always liked, Type 2, still see me now, maybe not always, but some of the time.

IÕm in disguise, after all: wrinkles, graying hair, new limitations on my dance moves, because I donÕt want to seem ridiculous on the dance floor, geez, at my age.

But the man in my dream saw me. Saw right through me, as they say, and the vinyl shirt was just a metaphor. IÕm what I always was: curious, attuned, aware, available in a way that has nothing to do with actually having sex, a head thing really, like a tune running in my mind Ñ but IÕm in disguise. ItÕs my little secret.

There may be others like me; in fact, everyone may be like me. I donÕt know. Under gray hair and bobbly bodies, between retirement talk and comparing notes on our children and grandchildren, every fiftysomething person may be like me. Our ears arenÕt what they used to be, but we still hear the music, and under the table our feet are still tapping.

ItÕs possible.

DonÕt tell.

Ñ Marion Franck lives in Davis with her family. Reach her at marionf@omsoft.com. Her column appears Sundays.

Comments

comments

.

News

 
The show must go on: DMTC celebrates 30 years

By Bev Sykes | From Page: A1 | Gallery

Here’s a guide to Fifth Street etiquette

By Dave Ryan | From Page: A1

 
Marsh trial still scheduled to begin Monday

By Anne Ternus-Bellamy | From Page: A1

Aid workers with Ebola out of hospital

By The Associated Press | From Page: A2

 
Actors, crew needed for touring eco-play

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A2

Onramp crash injures two

By Lauren Keene | From Page: A2

 
Puppy love: dating sites match up animal lovers

By The Associated Press | From Page: A2 | Gallery

 
Israeli airstrike kills 3 senior Hamas leaders

By The Associated Press | From Page: A2

 
Free electronic waste recycling service offered

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A3

NAMI support group meets Sunday

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A3

 
Katehi will speak at Chamber’s community luncheon

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A3

 
Village Feast offers a taste of Yolo County with a hint of Europe

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A3 | Gallery

Sign up soon for Sac City’s fall classes

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A3

 
Yolo Federal to hold photo contest

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A3

Peregrine School is open for tours, registration

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A4

 
Fish-friendly river water intake takes shape

By Dave Ryan | From Page: A4 | Gallery

Qigong class starts in September


By Enterprise staff | From Page: A4

 
Meet K9 officer Dexter at Davis Senior Center

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A4

Grandmothers support group meets weekly

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A4, 1 Comment

 
Animal Services issues warning about rabid bats

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A4

 
Museum sets brick dedication date

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A4

Join the fun at the DMTC Gala on Saturday

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A5

 
Poets will read their original work on Thursday

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A8

.

Forum

Great game kids, pass the beer

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: B5

 
Frank Bruni: The trouble with tenure

By New York Times News Service | From Page: A6

Tom Meyer cartoon

By Debbie Davis | From Page: A6

 
Will you help serve Davis’ senior citizens?

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A6

Many thanks to Brooks Painting

By Letters to the Editor | From Page: A6

 
I really miss cal.net, too

By Letters to the Editor | From Page: A6

Where are the Water Police?

By Letters to the Editor | From Page: A6

 
.

Sports

Aggie coaches nearer starting lineups for Stanford opener

By Bruce Gallaudet | From Page: B1 | Gallery

 
A’s lose to split series with Mets

By The Associated Press | From Page: B1 | Gallery

Scoring machine propels Republic to another win

By Evan Ream | From Page: B1 | Gallery

 
River Cats clip Redbirds

By Enterprise staff | From Page: B1

Giants cruise past Cubs in Chicago

By The Associated Press | From Page: B1 | Gallery

 
49ers’ Dawson still learning to kick in new stadium

By The Associated Press | From Page: B8

.

Features

.

Arts

‘La Cage aux Folles’: a refreshing take on a classic

By Bev Sykes | From Page: A7 | Gallery

 
Wineaux: A sparkling prescription for a new disease

By Susan Leonardi | From Page: A7

Free classical concerts set at Covell Gardens

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A7

 
.

Business

.

Obituaries

Dora Mae Clark Anderson

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A4

 
.

Comics

Comics: Thursday, August 21, 2014

By Creator | From Page: B6