Valerie Frankel

Life in the Slow Lane: It’s work to stop playing the blame game

Blame — it’s an option that’s readily available when confronted with any situation. From a young age, we look to others to blame. I can still hear myself whining to my mom, “He started it!” after getting caught fighting with my brother, as if I had no part in it, and he created the entire […]

October 14, 2015 | Posted in Columns | Tagged ,

Life in the Slow Lane: Think of co-parenting as a business partnership

“Co-parenting isn’t rocket science,” is what someone told me many years ago. I wrote that down, as that was news to me. When I asked her to say more, she explained it something like this: You do you. The other parent does him/her. You both focus on the kid(s) and not each other. Easier said […]

August 12, 2015 | Posted in Columns | Tagged ,

Life in the Slow Lane: Big boys do — and should — cry

I’m not a movie critic, I’m just a fan of movies that validate feelings — and “Inside Out” does just that. It was a great way for kids to see that however they feel is OK. I’m glad Pixar was able to show feelings in such a cool way for kids to identify with. However, […]

July 09, 2015 | Posted in Columns | Tagged ,

Life in the Slow Lane: Launching our children out into the world

It’s been said that life is a constant lesson in letting go. After all of these years as a parent, you’d think I’d get it by now. As I go through a huge transition as a parent — launching the oldest child out into the world — I’m finally understanding what this means. This is […]

June 10, 2015 | Posted in Columns | Tagged ,

Life in the Slow Lane: There is a cure for the summertime blues

Summertime. This can be an idyllic time for kids, yet not always for parents. There are those who love the carefree time with their children in the summer, and those who break out in a sweat thinking of how to juggle their work and family life from June through August. For working parents, unless you […]

May 13, 2015 | Posted in Columns | Tagged ,

Life in the Slow Lane: Asking for help is not a weakness

What makes it so hard to ask for help? Granted, being self-sufficient is great in many ways. However, a theme I consistently witness and experience is the “That’s OK, I can do it myself” attitude. As humans, we are made to need connection, and this connection often involves helping each other, as well as needing […]

April 08, 2015 | Posted in Columns | Tagged ,

Life in the Slow Lane: Here are some steps for stepparents

I’d like to think I’m not the wicked stepmother, but sometimes I feel like one. This is a role I didn’t envision for myself after having my own three kids. Being a stepparent is hard, really hard. It’s a unique role that doesn’t quite have a definition. I know what I’m not — I’m not […]

March 11, 2015 | Posted in Columns | Tagged ,

Life in the Slow Lane: To give or not to give allowance

Allowance — I didn’t know there were so many options, as it seemed pretty straightforward to me. After some discussions with friends, I realized that this is a much hotter parenting topic than I had anticipated. To give allowance or not — that’s the first question. And if you give it, is it conditional on […]

February 11, 2015 | Posted in Columns | Tagged ,

Life in the Slow Lane: Resolve to do nothing but breathe, be well

One of my professors in graduate school told me to always take a lunch break during my workday. I thought he meant simply to eat and was curious about this seeming obsession with food, but now I realize he was telling me to take a break. Stop. Do nothing. Breathe. Refuel. How often do we […]

January 14, 2015 | Posted in Columns | Tagged ,

Life in the Slow Lane: Handling holiday hoopla when you’re feeling ho-hum

The holidays are here. You may be excited that family is coming to visit, or maybe it’s your first holidays in your new home. It may be a season full of holiday traditions that you are looking forward to. If you aren’t in the mood for the holidays, however, or if you’re trying to understand […]

December 10, 2014 | Posted in Columns | Tagged ,

Life in the Slow Lane: Distracted parenting — is it here to stay?

You may not like it, but this is about many of us — the parents of kids with all of those electronic devices that we want to control. I was taking a walk the other day and noticed something: When I passed parents walking with babies or young children in strollers, many of the parents […]

October 08, 2014 | Posted in Columns | Tagged ,

Life in the slow lane: Therapy defined

What exactly is therapy? Actually, this may sound weird (since I’m a therapist), but I don’t really know. Given that therapy is a different experience for everyone, it is hard to define. However, I do know what therapy isn’t. It is not a quick fix — therapists have no super powers to make problems go […]

September 10, 2014 | Posted in Columns | Tagged ,

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