Sunday, March 1, 2015
YOLO COUNTY NEWS
99 CENTS

Is martial law at the sushi bar too much to ask?

By
February 18, 2011 |

Whenever I have a little extra cash in my pocket (which is almost never) I often get rid of it at Fuji Chef. I know Davis has several other lovely sushi places, but there’s something about those little boats that adds a hypnotic effect. As if there wasn’t already enough serenity intrinsic in a never-ending stream of soft-shell crab and California rolls sliding by before your too-big-for-your-stomach eyes.

Besides all the sushi you could never manage to eat in a week, let alone one sitting, there’s an added bonus to sitting at the sushi boat bar: If they put you in just the right spot, you don’t have to look at anyone else, and no one else can look at you. Why is eye contact bad at the sushi boat bar? Simple. I don’t want to see the look in anyone else’s eyes when then see the number of plates I can stack up. Eye contact means eyewitnesses. They are to be avoided.
It’s not my fault. There’s heroin in the sushi. I just know it. And if there’s a Sushi Eaters Anonymous out there? I’m not interested. My skimpy wallet protects me from full-blown addiction.

My mode is to slink in to Fuji Chef at odd hours, avoiding the lunchtime madness, and should there be a long waiting list for the boats, no problem. I can kill time at Tibet Nepal. There’s always something in there that I didn’t know I wanted until I walked in the door.

Sometimes I get to Fuji and the wait is long enough to be annoying, but not long enough to justify one more labradorite pendant at Tibet Nepal. So I just park at the front door, and crane my neck up from time to time to see if anyone feeding at the sushi trough shows any signs of slowing down, or maybe bursting all over the walls like an overfilled soccer ball.

I don’t mind waiting for folks who are still eating, because I figure what goes around comes around, and in just a bit, someone else will be waiting for me and wondering if they should don a rain slicker like the ones they wear in the front row at Gallagher performances before they walk past me. Just in case.
The ones that really get to me, however, are the ones who lean back in their chairs like pot-bellied pups and yack for another 20 minutes after they’ve had their fill. There needs to be some sushi boat etiquette rules. A 15/15 rule. Something like, if you have 15 empty plates in front of you or if 15 minutes have gone by since your chopsticks last touched your mouth, you need to get up and go.

Hmmm. Maybe there needs to be a sushi recovery area, where you can go stretch out into a sushi coma for a bit? That might help clear the boatside seats up more quickly.

Of all the Chatty Kathys hogging up bar space post-meal, I’ve observed that college students are the worst offenders. I know it’s a developmental thing. I know that in your 20s, you don’t understand that you really aren’t the center of the universe, and the concept of “what other people might need” is totally foreign. And it’s bad enough when the 20-somethings are chit-chatting amongst their group. But when they just sit there and yap on their cell phones in front of the skeletons of their sushi-fest for half an hour or more, I have to fight the urge to grab a chopstick and give them a good poke.

Move it, sister. The ebe is calling me.

Then you have the Hoovers. As in vacuum cleaners. These folks position themselves at the headwaters of the sushi boat stream and scoop up all the salmon sake before it can float on by to someone else. Then there are big, beefy 20-something Hoovers who tend to snag all the teriyaki chicken skewers, which is fine with me, because I don’t go to a sushi bar hankering for cooked chicken.

Big macho guys who gag at the taste of fish. Oh my, oh my, I could have such a romp with that topic, but as they keep reminding me, this is a family newspaper.

Another thing about the 20-something boys. Because males of that age are actually unable to see women over 40 (all they see is air — we’re completely invisible to them) they aren’t aware that hovering over us like big, stanky bears and reaching for sushi plates while we’re eating might be a tad rude and obnoxious. At least go to the end of the bar with the Hoovers and hog everything up from there.

These are just some of the typical, routine Fuji infractions I’ve learned to tolerate. I mean, you have to, if you want any dragon roll. But one evening, I saw sushi bar rudeness come to its zenith

There I was, forced to eat at a table because the bar was full. A group of three men, and they were my age and should have known better — sat in front of at least 40 empty plates between them, yacking about this and that, to each other and on their cell phones — totally oblivious that anyone else in the room, let alone waiting in line, might appreciate a space at the bar.

And then one of them did the unthinkable: reached out his hand and grabbed a single California roll off a passing plate, popped it in his mouth, and kept on talking. And on sailed the plate, minus one roll. But crawling with his nasty, crusty germs.

Ewww and ewww. Besides the 15/15 rule, I propose a Death Penalty for Grazing law at the sushi boat bar.

This is sushi, my friends. It’s serious business.

— Follow Debra DeAngelo on Twitter. Links are posted at and http://www.edebra.com and http://www.wintersexpress.com. Find Debra’s columns online at http://www.wintersexpress.com, http://www.edebra.com and http://www.ipinion.me

Comments

comments

Debra DeAngelo

  • Recent Posts

  • Enter your email address to subscribe to this newspaper and receive notifications of new articles by email.

  • .

    News

    Learn about pollinators, gardens and honey at Yolo Basin fundraiser

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A1 | Gallery

     
     
    New greenhouse will add to ‘Farm to Mouth’ program

    By Anne Ternus-Bellamy | From Page: A1 | Gallery

    Can you give them a home?

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A2 | Gallery

     
    For the record

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A2

    Fire damages South Davis home

    By Lauren Keene | From Page: A2 | Gallery

     
    Gerber nominations close Saturday

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A3

     
    Explorit: Humming right along

    By Lisa Justice | From Page: A3

    Flower arrangers feature S.F. designer

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A3

     
    Celebrate Africa on Saturday at I-House

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A3

    Chamber explores how to pay for Davis’ needs

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A4

     
    Wolk and Dodd team up to provide Napa earthquake tax relief

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A4

    Robb Davis to speak about homelessness, energy

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A4

     
    Spring sing-along is March 4

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A4

    A fill-up mishap

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A5

     
    Two free yoga classes offered March 12

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A5

    Take a night walk at Cache Creek

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A5

     
    Class of 1970 plans 45-year reunion

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A5

    Bicycle safety course to be offered in Davis

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A5

     
    Documentary on immigration issues will be screened

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A5

     
    Learn about your brain on March 14

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A5

    Adopt a household for Bridge to Housing participants

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A7

     
    Workshop will teach sustainable gardening methods

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A8

     
    .

    Forum

    Tired of all of this

    By Creators Syndicate | From Page: B5

     
    Tom Meyer cartoon

    By Debbie Davis | From Page: B6

    No extra cost for containers

    By Letters to the Editor | From Page: B6

     
    Oral Health Project launches

    By Letters to the Editor | From Page: B6

    Here an H, there an H

    By Letters to the Editor | From Page: B6

     
    Cavalier attitude about bike safety

    By Letters to the Editor | From Page: B6

    Start early to build healthy dental habits

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: B6

     
    .

    Sports

    Blue Devil boys expect a spike in production

    By Thomas Oide | From Page: B1 | Gallery

     
    Inquiring minds want to know about Aggies

    By Bruce Gallaudet | From Page: B1

    Encouraging start for DHS boys tennis team

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: B1 | Gallery

     
    Off day for Aggie men at UCSB

    By Kim Orendor | From Page: B1 | Gallery

    Aggie women fall to 4th after lackluster showing

    By Bruce Gallaudet | From Page: B1 | Gallery

     
    Lady Devils are on to the SJS semis

    By Spencer Ault | From Page: B1 | Gallery

     
    Late goal lifts Red Wings over Sharks

    By The Associated Press | From Page: B4 | Gallery

    Watney struggling at windy Honda Classic

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: B12

     
    .

    Features

    .

    Arts

    YoloArts’ Gallery 625 presents ‘The Poetry of Dots’

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A10 | Gallery

     
    International Film Series to present ‘Jaffa’

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A10

    Monticello announces March schedule

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A10

     
    The Artery presents ‘Stepping Into Nature’

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A10 | Gallery

    ‘Focus': A sharply conceived caper

    By Derrick Bang | From Page: A11 | Gallery

     
    The Woodland Opera House announces 2015-16 season

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A12 | Gallery

    .

    Business

    Nissan’s Z remains an affordable performer

    By Ann M. Job | From Page: B3

     
    Car Care: Simple DIY steps to protect your car through all seasons

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A7

     
    .

    Obituaries

    Vernon E. Burton

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A4

     
    Dieter W. Gruenwedel

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A4

    George Miller Jr.

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A4

     
    Death notice: Celia E. Recchio

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A4

    .

    Comics

    Comics: Friday, February 27, 2015

    By Creator | From Page: B5