Wednesday, September 17, 2014
YOLO COUNTY NEWS
99 CENTS

Adoption clouds inheritance issue

AnniesMailbox

By
From page B5 | January 03, 2013 |

Dear Annie: I am a 22-year-old adoptee. My grandparents raised me from 6 months old and officially adopted me when I was 10. They have three sons — my biological father and his two brothers. This is where the problem lies.

My “uncles” have never accepted that their parents are my parents. They never refer to me as their sister and frequently refer to my parents as my grandparents. Most of these things I ignore, but there is one thing I cannot. My parents are in their early 60s, and the subject of their death comes up often. Their sons have decided that when our parents die, I have no say in anything.

Annie, these are the only parents I’ve ever had. I am legally adopted, so I have a legal right as well as a given right. How do I calmly explain that they are my parents, too?

— Their Child

Dear Their Child: You are not going to make your uncles treat you like a sibling. They see you as their brother’s child. And although your parents are not that old, it is never too soon to prepare a will and other necessary legal documents. Your parents’ wishes and the distribution of their assets are things they get to decide, and they should discuss it with a lawyer. They should also have a family meeting and make sure that all of their children are aware of how they want this to be handled.

————

Dear Annie: I recently attended a cocktail party at the home of a former colleague from our deaf program. The speaker was a campaign worker for one of the presidential candidates. The party hostess made arrangements in advance for a sign language interpreter.

When the speaker was done with his presentation, I waited for my turn to talk to him. As I got clearance, I was interrupted by three hearing female guests who showed no respect for a deaf guest while the conversation took place. I managed to maintain a professional attitude by containing my emotions, but their rudeness took me by surprise. The speaker was fully aware of this, and his facial expression hinted to me that he was not pleased by this episode.

If I were to attend another such event and get the same treatment, what should I do?

— Deaf Professor

Dear Deaf: This type of situation can occur whether a guest is deaf or not. People interrupt, block you from the conversation and behave rudely. An alert host would have interceded, and the speaker should have made every effort to be more inclusive. He allowed these women to hijack the conversation. You also could have enlisted the assistance of the interpreter. If you feel you were treated poorly solely because of your deafness, please discuss this with your host at the next such event.

————

Dear Annie: The letter from “Heartbroken Mother,” whose 36-year-old son is a drug addict, hit home. That son could’ve been me.

I’m glad you told her to take care of herself first. I would also like to mention that The Salvation Army offers a free, six-month-minimum in-patient adult rehabilitation program. It’s a tough, spiritually based 12-step program that includes a full day of hard work and counseling.

I have seen so many people who are hopeless and helpless renewed to strong, contributing members of the community. When one shows up for intake, they have to test clean for drugs and alcohol. Maybe her son is not ready, but there may be thousands more who are reading this column. It is challenging but literally lifesaving. The rewards for those who take the walk and for the families who take it with them bring me to tears every time I witness the change and hope that come.

— Doug

————

Annie’s Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column. Please email your questions to anniesmailbox@comcast.net, or write to: Annie’s Mailbox, c/o Creators Syndicate, 737 3rd Street, Hermosa Beach, CA 90254. To find out more about Annie’s Mailbox and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate Web page at www.creators.com.

— Creators Syndicate Inc.

Comments

comments

Special to The Enterprise

.

News

Rainbow City revival plans, one meeting at a time

By Dave Ryan | From Page: A1 | Gallery

 
 
Show off your electric vehicles on Sunday

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A3

 
Learn about youth leadership program on Sept. 28

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A3

Sign up now for free Community Yard Sale

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A3

 
AAUW hosts conversation with Gilardi

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A3

 
Master Gardeners will answer questions Sunday

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A3

Storyteller will draw on music, dance

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A3

 
Sign up soon for a new year of Writing Buddies

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A4 | Gallery

Register to vote by Oct. 20

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A4

 
Free introductory yoga, chanting workshop offered

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A4

Saylor meets constituents at Peet’s

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A4

 
Rotary seeks project requests

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A4

.

Forum

Tom Meyer cartoon

By Debbie Davis | From Page: A6

 
Mental-health treatment lacking

By Letters to the Editor | From Page: A6

Braly’s column lightens the heart

By Letters to the Editor | From Page: A6

 
Bicycle bells needed for safety

By Letters to the Editor | From Page: A6

Are we going to wait until someone here dies?

By Rich Rifkin | From Page: A6

 
Firefighters went above, beyond

By Letters to the Editor | From Page: A6

Grocery bags are biohazards

By Letters to the Editor | From Page: A6

 
Can’t we work collaboratively?

By Letters to the Editor | From Page: A6

Please vaccinate your children

By Letters to the Editor | From Page: A6

 
.

Sports

Formidable UCD defense melts Hornets

By Bruce Gallaudet | From Page: B1 | Gallery

 
Devils go the distance to triumph at Chico

By Enterprise staff | From Page: B1 | Gallery

UCD women take third at elite golf event

By Enterprise staff | From Page: B1

 
Aggie men stay in 10th to finish St. Mary’s Invite

By Enterprise staff | From Page: B1

Sounders win U.S. Open Cup in overtime

By Staff and wire reports | From Page: B2

 
AYSO roundup: Ultra Violet illuminates a victory

By Enterprise staff | From Page: B2 | Gallery

Diamondbacks slam Giants

By The Associated Press | From Page: B2 | Gallery

 
Baseball roundup: Peavy, Posey lead Giants past Arizona

By The Associated Press | From Page: B2 | Gallery

Legacy roundup: Gunners get a win over Woodland

By Enterprise staff | From Page: B3 | Gallery

 
Alliance roundup: Soccer success comes on the road and at home

By Enterprise staff | From Page: B3 | Gallery

 
.

Features

Name Droppers: Bamforth leads international brewing institute

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A4 | Gallery

 
Name Droppers: UC Davis announces eight new fellows

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A7

Just desserts? A sweet treat is worth the effort

By Julie Cross | From Page: A10

 
.

Arts

Apply now for Davis Community Idol

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A4

 
Davis students prepare dishes for Empty Bowls fundraiser

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A9 | Gallery

Nine Davis artists chosen to show in KVIE Art Auction

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A9

 
Sacred Harp singers will gather

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A9 | Gallery

 
Classic ‘Hello, Dolly!’ wows at Woodland Opera House

By Bev Sykes | From Page: A9 | Gallery

.

Business

.

Obituaries

.

Comics