Friday, November 28, 2014
YOLO COUNTY NEWS
99 CENTS

After death, time to re-evaluate life?

AnniesMailbox

By
From page B5 | November 07, 2012 |

Dear Annie: My father was recently killed in an accident. Now it’s just my mother and me. I don’t know how my mom is going to cope with the loss, and I am not sure how I will, either. I won’t have my father around to see me graduate, get married or have kids.

Here’s the issue: I’m 20 and will be transferring soon to an out-of-state college. This was planned months ago. But I worry that once I leave, my mother will have a breakdown.

Am I making the right choice to go away? I’ve been dreaming of this college for years, but now I feel selfish. I know I can’t put my life on hold, but I want to be sure I’m doing things the right way. I want to be on my own and learn to become independent, but I also realize I’ll be alone and will have to start all over, just like my mom. It’s going to be hard.

Mom has friends, Dad’s family and our church nearby to give her support. I won’t have any of that at my new school. Maybe I just need to force myself to be strong because no one else will push me to do it. I know my mom would like me to stay, but she’d feel guilty if I did. I’m so lost.

— Devastated Daughter

Dear Devastated: The death of a loved one can make decisions difficult, and it usually is best not to rush into anything. But you seem ready to leave home, and if this is the case, you should go. Your mother has a support network in place, and you can call her often in order to stay in close touch and be sure she is OK. And you also will need a support network. Your new school should offer counseling services, and we hope you will look into them as soon as you arrive. But if you are reluctant to go, find out whether the school will permit you to defer enrollment for a semester.

————

Dear Annie: For a few years, I have been in a serious relationship with a beautiful 54-year-old woman whom I’ve considered marrying. But she likes to flirt and has had several men fall in love with her and propose marriage. It has created a lot of discomfort for me and takes a great deal of patience to tolerate.

She insists that she’s not like that anymore. But, Annie, she’s suddenly keeping company with her rich, widowed cousin who is 20 years older. In the past two years, he has taken her on seven trips, including cruises and resorts where they share a single room.

She says I have nothing to worry about because he’s her cousin. Is that true? I’m also hurt that we had planned to do all of these things together. Am I being oversensitive, or should I be seeing red flags?

— Home Alone

Dear Home Alone: Red flags? Honey, the flags are on fire. This woman is taking advantage of your patience and tolerance. We suspect this man may not really be her cousin, and even if he is, it doesn’t preclude intimacy. If she respected your relationship, she would not be taking trips with another man and sharing his room. She cannot be trusted. We think you should get out while you can.

————

Dear Annie: I am writing about “Worried Grandma,” who said her granddaughter, “Kelly,” is loud and talks excessively.

I am the mother of a son with a profound hearing loss. He is 24, happily married and has two cochlear implants. Talking excessively can be a sign of hearing loss. Kelly says she knows she is loud but is unable to control it. That can happen with hearing loss because they can’t hear well enough to control their own volume. Please suggest that “Worried Grandma” have Kelly evaluated by an ENT

— Mother of a Deaf Son

————

Annie’s Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column. Email your questions to anniesmailbox@comcast.net, or write to: Annie’s Mailbox, c/o Creators Syndicate, 737 3rd Street, Hermosa Beach, CA 90254. To find out more about Annie’s Mailbox and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate Web page at www.creators.com.

 — Creators Syndicate Inc.

Comments

comments

Special to The Enterprise

  • Recent Posts

  • Enter your email address to subscribe to this newspaper and receive notifications of new articles by email.

  • .

    News

    Davis MRAP didn’t go far: Woodland

    By Dave Ryan | From Page: A1

     
    Shop-local focus highlights Small Business Saturday

    By Bob Schultz | From Page: A1 | Gallery

    Looking for the gift of life

    By Anne Ternus-Bellamy | From Page: A1 | Gallery

     
    The artistic process of a neighborhood legend

    By Lily Holmes | From Page: A1 | Gallery

    Gorilla death prompts S.F. Zoo changes

    By The Associated Press | From Page: A2

     
    Bob Dunning: MRAP your arms around this

    By Bob Dunning | From Page: A2

    Holiday shopping in full gear

    By The Associated Press | From Page: A2 | Gallery

     
    Tell us your Putah Creek stories

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A2

    Explorit: Water expert will speak Dec. 15

    By Lisa Justice | From Page: A3

     
    Ceremony Tuesday celebrates MU bus terminal

    By Dave Jones | From Page: A3 | Gallery

     
    Locals come through for families in need

    By Lauren Keene | From Page: A4 | Gallery

    Travel the world at Logos Books

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A4

     
    Dormant-season pruning tips offered

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A4

    Junior high students set walkathon fundraiser

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A4

     
    Horse owners needed for online survey

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A4

    Sierra Club calendars on sale Saturday

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A4

     
    Enterprise holiday decorating contest is back

    By Kimberly Yarris | From Page: A4

    Free bike clinic, ride set Sunday

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A4

     
    Flyway Nights talk focuses on sea otters of Elkhorn Slough

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A5 | Gallery

    Chamber of Commerce lays out 5-year plan

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A5

     
    Holiday gifts galore available at crafts fair

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A7

    Shakespeare folio discovered in France

    By New York Times News Service | From Page: A7 | Gallery

     
    Students come together for sustainability

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A7 | Gallery

    Workshop will answer financial aid questions

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A7

     
    Christmas Bird Count workshop planned Wednesday

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A9

    Watch, then make, a holiday floral decoration

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A9

     
    Wolks share their unique perspective on Davis

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A9

    .

    Forum

    Behavior straining friendship

    By Creators Syndicate | From Page: B5

     
    Tom Meyer cartoon

    By Debbie Davis | From Page: A6

    Tom Elias: Utilities look to soak small users

    By Tom Elias | From Page: A6

     
    Cheers and Jeers: Thankfully, no jeers

    By Our View | From Page: A6

    Many thanks for a great benefit

    By Letters to the Editor | From Page: A6

     
    It all started at the bookstore

    By Letters to the Editor | From Page: A6

    What can we do to help?

    By Letters to the Editor | From Page: A6

     
    What if we really need it?

    By Letters to the Editor | From Page: A6

    .

    Sports

    Seahawks shut down San Francisco

    By The Associated Press | From Page: B1

     
    Aggies out-Fox Utah State after dramatic Les shot to forces overtime

    By Bruce Gallaudet | From Page: B1 | Gallery

    Defense, depth lead Aggie women to home win

    By Bruce Gallaudet | From Page: B1 | Gallery

     
     
    Youth roundup: 10 titles for the Diamonds Level 3 gymnastics squad

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: B4 | Gallery

    .

    Features

    .

    Arts

    Mumbo Gumbo plays for post-Thanksgiving dance party

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A11

     
    ‘Horrible Bosses 2′: Fire ‘em all!

    By Derrick Bang | From Page: A11 | Gallery

     
    .

    Business

    Sonata evolves into more sophisticated car

    By Ann M. Job | From Page: C1 | Gallery

     
    .

    Obituaries

    John Walter Neves Jr.

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A4

     
    .

    Comics

    Comics: Friday, November 28, 2014 (set 2)

    By Creator | From Page: B3

     
    Comics: Friday, November 28, 2014 (set 1)

    By Creator | From Page: A10