Friday, November 21, 2014
YOLO COUNTY NEWS
99 CENTS

Will he always be alone and lonely?

AnniesMailbox

Dear Annie: I am a 45-year-old gay man who has never had a relationship, and I don’t expect it to change. I have lived all of my life in the closet. I know it’s not emotionally healthy, but I feel unable to confide in anyone. When I was a teenager, I confided in a minister, who then told my parents. They never accepted me.

My parents are both gone now. I have no friends. I work two jobs, which precludes a social life. I’ve listened to my co-workers’ conversations and can tell they wouldn’t understand. I live in an area where coming out could mean the loss of my jobs, my landlord could evict me, and I worry that someone’s intolerance could turn violent.

There is no PFLAG or other resource in my area. There are no gay bars. I feel unable to relocate due to economic concerns. I realize my isolation is my own fault. I’m not an outgoing, talkative person. In particular, I have always found it difficult to talk about myself. How do I open the door?

— In Turmoil in Kansas

Dear Kansas: You don’t need to go to a gay bar. You can look online, and not only for prospective partners, but also to make new friends regardless of their sexual orientation. It will protect your privacy while giving you an opportunity to connect with others. Regular email conversations can also help you learn to communicate better. And PFLAG has online support at pflag.org. Please check it out.

————

Dear Annie: I have an adult niece who no longer speaks to her grandparents. No one knows why, and her parents tell us the niece “deals with things in her own way.” Her grandparents are heartbroken.

The question is: Do I invite this niece to a family wedding? She is difficult to be around and makes things uncomfortable for those of us who must observe her behavior. It is important to the bride that her grandparents be at the wedding, and we want them to feel at ease. We have no problem not inviting the niece, but do not want to start a war with her parents.

— Family Issues

Dear Issues: We generally favor inviting those people you wish and letting the chips fall where they may. You are not responsible for your niece’s estrangement. However, you also are not obligated to invite her, although it’s quite possible that the grandparents might welcome a chance to see the girl, even from six tables away. The decision ultimately rests with the bridal couple, but you might first talk it over with the grandparents, as well as the parents of this niece. Explain the problem and ask whether they believe she can behave appropriately. If there is a genuine risk that she will cause a scene, we say leave her off the guest list.

————

Dear Annie: You told “Frustrated” to call those people who had not RSVP’d and ask whether they plan to attend her daughter’s graduation party. As much as I love traditional invites, sadly, tradition is heeding way to technology. Instead of calling, she should turn to her social media accounts to initiate invitations.

I have used Facebook for three events in the past year. I received more RSVPs than I ever would have gotten with mailed paper invitations. That said, however, most people did not show up and never bothered to respond. It resulted in wasted food and guests taking home extra favor bags. However, this was my fault. I easily could have posted a message asking for a head count before making final arrangements.

— Everything Online Now

Dear Everything: Your fault? No, dear. The fault lies with those who are too inconsiderate to tell you whether they plan to attend an event that you have been kind enough to invite them to. It doesn’t matter whether the invitations are mailed or sent electronically. (And many people do not have Facebook accounts. Really.)

————

Annie’s Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column. Please email your questions to anniesmailbox@comcast.net, or write to: Annie’s Mailbox, c/o Creators Syndicate, 737 3rd Street, Hermosa Beach, CA 90254. To find out more about Annie’s Mailbox and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate Web page at www.creators.com.

— Creators Syndicate Inc.

Comments

comments

Special to The Enterprise

  • Recent Posts

  • Enter your email address to subscribe to this newspaper and receive notifications of new articles by email.

  • .

    News

    UC regents approve 5% tuition increases

    By The Associated Press | From Page: A1 | Gallery

     
     
    California unemployment steady at 7.3 percent

    By The Associated Press | From Page: A2

     
     
    A new home for the holidays?

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A2 | Gallery

     
    Sierra Club calendars on sale Saturday

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A3

    Explorit: Lecture illuminates state water bond

    By Lisa Justice | From Page: A3

     
    Apply now to take Master Gardener training

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A3

    Yolobus will reroute Saturday morning for Turkey Trot

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A3

     
    Help feed the hungry at Saturday’s food drive

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A3

    Volunteers sought to advocate for kids

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A4

     
    Village Homes gets crafty

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A4 | Gallery

     
    .

    Forum

    Nowhere to go, nothing to do

    By Creators Syndicate | From Page: B5

     
    Davis voices concerns over new oil-by-rail proposal

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A10

    Cheers and Jeers: Katehi front and center

    By Our View | From Page: A10

     
    Tom Meyer cartoon

    By Debbie Davis | From Page: A10

    Council misses an opportunity

    By Letters to the Editor | From Page: A10

     
    Together we can do so much

    By Letters to the Editor | From Page: A10

    Have you read this book?

    By Letters to the Editor | From Page: A10

     
    We DO have a water shortage

    By Letters to the Editor | From Page: A10

    .

    Sports

    UCD men get to 2-0

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: B1 | Gallery

     
    Silveria has been there through thick and thin

    By Bruce Gallaudet | From Page: B1

     
    Whose seniors will go out in style at Causeway Classic No. 61?

    By Bruce Gallaudet | From Page: B1 | Gallery

    LBSU takes down UCD in matchup of Big West’s best

    By Thomas Oide | From Page: B1 | Gallery

     
    Wire sports briefs: Kings cruise past Chicago

    By The Associated Press | From Page: B3

     
    Raiders beat K.C. to snap a 16-game skid

    By The Associated Press | From Page: B3 | Gallery

    Aggie women start 4-game homestand Saturday at 11 a.m.

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: B8

     
    .

    Features

    .

    Arts

     
    The Purple Ones to play tribute to Prince

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A11

    ‘The Hunger Games: Mockingjay, Part 1′ fails to catch fire

    By Derrick Bang | From Page: A11 | Gallery

     
    Wealth of Nations show is Saturday

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A11

    Davis Feminist Film Festival accepting submissions

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A11

     
    Come ‘Home for the Holidays’ and benefit school arts

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A11

    Founding pastor of UCC’s now-famous painting on display

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A12 | Gallery

     
    .

    Business

    Automakers debut key models at L.A. Auto Show

    By The Associated Press | From Page: A7 | Gallery

     
    .

    Obituaries

    .

    Comics

    Comics: Friday, November 21, 2014

    By Creator | From Page: A9

     
    .

    Real Estate Review

    Featured Listing

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: RER1

    Professional Services Directory

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: RER2

    Lyon Real Estate

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: RER3

    RE/Max Gold

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: RER4

    Kim Eichorn

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: RER5

    Joe Kaplan

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: RER6

    Melrina A Maggiora

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: RER6

    Marcelo Campos

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: RER7

    Lennar Homes

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: RER7

    Tracy Harris

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: RER8

    Yolo FCU

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: RER8

    Team Traverso

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: RER8

    Travis Credit Union

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: RER9

    Coldwell Banker

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: RER10

    Ciana Wallace

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: RER12

    Diane Lardelli

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: RER12

    Jamie Madison

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: RER12

    Wells Fargo Home Mortgage

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: RER13

    Malek Baroody

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: RER13

    Julie Partain

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: RER14

    Coldwell Banker

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: RER15

    Cynthia Gerber

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: RER17

    Karen Waggoner

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: RER17

    Jamie Madison & Associates

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: RER17

    Dana Hawkins & Caitlin McCalla

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: RER18

    Chris Snow

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: RER18

    Open House Map

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: RER19

    F1rst Street Real Estate

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: RER20