Thursday, April 24, 2014
YOLO COUNTY NEWS
99 CENTS

Will he always be alone and lonely?

AnniesMailbox

Dear Annie: I am a 45-year-old gay man who has never had a relationship, and I don’t expect it to change. I have lived all of my life in the closet. I know it’s not emotionally healthy, but I feel unable to confide in anyone. When I was a teenager, I confided in a minister, who then told my parents. They never accepted me.

My parents are both gone now. I have no friends. I work two jobs, which precludes a social life. I’ve listened to my co-workers’ conversations and can tell they wouldn’t understand. I live in an area where coming out could mean the loss of my jobs, my landlord could evict me, and I worry that someone’s intolerance could turn violent.

There is no PFLAG or other resource in my area. There are no gay bars. I feel unable to relocate due to economic concerns. I realize my isolation is my own fault. I’m not an outgoing, talkative person. In particular, I have always found it difficult to talk about myself. How do I open the door?

— In Turmoil in Kansas

Dear Kansas: You don’t need to go to a gay bar. You can look online, and not only for prospective partners, but also to make new friends regardless of their sexual orientation. It will protect your privacy while giving you an opportunity to connect with others. Regular email conversations can also help you learn to communicate better. And PFLAG has online support at pflag.org. Please check it out.

————

Dear Annie: I have an adult niece who no longer speaks to her grandparents. No one knows why, and her parents tell us the niece “deals with things in her own way.” Her grandparents are heartbroken.

The question is: Do I invite this niece to a family wedding? She is difficult to be around and makes things uncomfortable for those of us who must observe her behavior. It is important to the bride that her grandparents be at the wedding, and we want them to feel at ease. We have no problem not inviting the niece, but do not want to start a war with her parents.

— Family Issues

Dear Issues: We generally favor inviting those people you wish and letting the chips fall where they may. You are not responsible for your niece’s estrangement. However, you also are not obligated to invite her, although it’s quite possible that the grandparents might welcome a chance to see the girl, even from six tables away. The decision ultimately rests with the bridal couple, but you might first talk it over with the grandparents, as well as the parents of this niece. Explain the problem and ask whether they believe she can behave appropriately. If there is a genuine risk that she will cause a scene, we say leave her off the guest list.

————

Dear Annie: You told “Frustrated” to call those people who had not RSVP’d and ask whether they plan to attend her daughter’s graduation party. As much as I love traditional invites, sadly, tradition is heeding way to technology. Instead of calling, she should turn to her social media accounts to initiate invitations.

I have used Facebook for three events in the past year. I received more RSVPs than I ever would have gotten with mailed paper invitations. That said, however, most people did not show up and never bothered to respond. It resulted in wasted food and guests taking home extra favor bags. However, this was my fault. I easily could have posted a message asking for a head count before making final arrangements.

— Everything Online Now

Dear Everything: Your fault? No, dear. The fault lies with those who are too inconsiderate to tell you whether they plan to attend an event that you have been kind enough to invite them to. It doesn’t matter whether the invitations are mailed or sent electronically. (And many people do not have Facebook accounts. Really.)

————

Annie’s Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column. Please email your questions to anniesmailbox@comcast.net, or write to: Annie’s Mailbox, c/o Creators Syndicate, 737 3rd Street, Hermosa Beach, CA 90254. To find out more about Annie’s Mailbox and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate Web page at www.creators.com.

— Creators Syndicate Inc.

Special to The Enterprise

LEAVE A COMMENT

Discussion | No comments

The Davis Enterprise does not necessarily condone the comments here, nor does it review every post. Read our full policy

.

News

Will city move forward on public power review?

By Dave Ryan | From Page: A1

 
Attorneys at odds over Woodland infant’s death

By Lauren Keene | From Page: A1

 
4-H members prepare for Spring Show

By Anne Ternus-Bellamy | From Page: A1

Food insecurity remains an issue for many county residents

By Anne Ternus-Bellamy | From Page: A1

 
 
 
Conference puts focus on Arab studies

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A4

Youth sports in focus on radio program

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A4

 
Rummage sale will benefit preschool

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A4

Concert benefits South Korea exchange

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A4

 
Davis honors ‘green’ citizens

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A5

Water rate assistance bill advances

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A5

 
Program explores STEM careers for girls

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A5

Embroiderers plan a hands-on project

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A5

 
Central Park Gardens to host Volunteer Orientation Day

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A5 | Gallery

Volkssporting Club plans North Davis walks

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A5

 
Hotel/conference center info meeting set

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A5

Cycle de Mayo benefits Center for Families

By Anne Ternus-Bellamy | From Page: A8

 
Author to read ‘The Cat Who Chose to Dream’

By Anne Ternus-Bellamy | From Page: A12

.

Forum

Things are turning sour

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: B5

 
Tom Meyer cartoon

By Debbie Davis | From Page: A6

The high cost of employment

By Letters to the Editor | From Page: A6

 
High-five to Union Bank

By Letters to the Editor | From Page: A6

Broken sprinklers waste water

By Letters to the Editor | From Page: A6

 
Three more administrators?

By Letters to the Editor | From Page: A6

Neustadt has experience for the job

By Letters to the Editor | From Page: A6

 
Here’s a plan to save big on employee costs

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A6

Davis is fair, thoughtful

By Letters to the Editor | From Page: A6

 
Ortiz is the right choice for Yolo

By Letters to the Editor | From Page: A6

.

Sports

DHS tracksters sweep another DVC meet

By Enterprise staff | From Page: B1 | Gallery

 
Another DVC blowout for DHS girls soccer

By Evan Ream | From Page: B1 | Gallery

Young reinvents his game to help Aggies improve on the diamond

By Bruce Gallaudet | From Page: B1 | Gallery

 
DHS boys shuffle the deck to beat Cards

By Thomas Oide | From Page: B1 | Gallery

DHS/Franklin II is a close loss for Devil softballers

By Enterprise staff | From Page: B1

 
Baseball roundup: Giants slam Rockies in the 11th

By The Associated Press | From Page: B2

 
UCD roundup: Aggies lose a softball game at Pacific

By Enterprise staff | From Page: B3

Jahn jumps to Sacramento Republic FC

By Evan Ream | From Page: B8

 
.

Features

.

Arts

 
Bach Soloists wrap up season on April 28

By Jeff Hudson | From Page: A11

Congressional art competition open to high school students

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A11

 
Emerson, Da Vinci to present ‘Once Upon a Mattress’

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A11

 
Winters Plein Air Festival begins Friday

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A11

 
.

Business

.

Obituaries

.

Comics

Comics: Thursday, April 24, 2014

By Creator | From Page: B6