Sunday, October 19, 2014
YOLO COUNTY NEWS
99 CENTS

Already made herself at home

AnniesMailbox

By
From page B5 | August 31, 2014 |

Dear Annie: I am one of four adult children. Our father died a couple of years ago. Three of us have our own homes. One sister, “Diane,” has been married twice and has lived with numerous men and was kicked out when each relationship ended. She has no place that she owns.

Our mother has told us that after she is gone, Diane will get the house and still share a quarter of the remaining assets. Dad was not in agreement with this, but Mom outlived him. In the past few years, Mom has spent at least $10,000 “fixing up the house” for our sister, sometimes at Diane’s suggestion. Diane moved in with our mother and treats her badly. She doesn’t spend much time with Mom, but when she does, she is terribly rude and condescending to her. It’s more than we can stand.

Mom has dementia and is getting worse. The house is filthy, and Diane becomes angry if we try to clean it. What can we do without a full family blowup? We all agree it is elder abuse, but don’t know what to do.

— Heartbroken Daughter

Dear Heartbroken: A full family blowup is the least of your worries. You have to protect your mother. The National Council on Elder Abuse (ncea.aoa.gov) offers a list of state resources for reporting abuse, including Adult Protective Services in Mom’s area. You also can call the Eldercare Locator at 1-800-677-1116 for resources and assistance.

————

Dear Annie: I have a question about tipping in hotels. I always tip for the number of nights I stay. If I checked in on Monday, I would leave a tip on Tuesday and again prior to my checking out on Wednesday. I thought this was correct.

Recently, we needed extra towels. I walked the note to the front desk and added a tip, telling the front desk clerk that we were leaving in the morning and would like the room made up early. The desk clerk thanked me on behalf of the housekeeping staff and assured me that the tip would be passed on.

But when I spoke to the housekeeper later that day, she said she didn’t receive the tip. When I asked the desk clerk, she said she had been instructed by the manager to give the tip to the housekeeper who made up the room prior to our Monday check-in. Was the manager correct? When I tried to leave a tip for the other gal the next day, I discovered that was her day off. How best can I make this up to her? What do I do in the future?

— Tipping Quandary from Ohio

Dear Ohio: You are correct to leave a tip for the housekeeper each day of your stay, because you never know who is cleaning your room on any given day. The problem occurred because you handed the tip to the desk clerk, and the manager gave it to someone else. If you insist on making it up to the housekeeper, send the tip to the hotel with her name on the envelope. But in the future, we’d leave tips on the dresser and ask for extra towels by calling the front desk from your room.

————

Dear Annie: You’ve printed several letters from those who feel inadequate about the cleanliness of their homes due to comments from family members.

I am clean and organized, but that is not always evident in my home. As my children were growing up, I found it much more important to take them to the park, museums, plays, the library and the zoo. My husband and I coached sports and were leaders of their school groups, etc.

Our children will remember those activities and be influenced by them for a lifetime. People should live life instead of trying to clean it up. If it bothers others, it is their problem. Your true friends won’t care whether there’s dust on the furniture. We all end up as dust anyway.

— Been There, Learned From It

————

Annie’s Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column. Please email your questions to anniesmailbox@comcast.net, or write to: Annie’s Mailbox, c/o Creators Syndicate, 737 3rd Street, Hermosa Beach, CA 90254. To find out more about Annie’s Mailbox and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate Web page at www.creators.com.

— Creators Syndicate Inc.

Comments

comments

Creators Syndicate

  • Recent Posts

  • Enter your email address to subscribe to this newspaper and receive notifications of new articles by email.

  • .

    News

    Howzat! Cricket tradition grows in Davis

    By Lily Holmes | From Page: A1 | Gallery

     
    Housing First pilot project targets West Sac homeless

    By Anne Ternus-Bellamy | From Page: A1

    Return to sender: MRAP removal options go to council

    By Dave Ryan | From Page: A1 | Gallery

     
    $18.75M grant aims to build global food security

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A1 | Gallery

     
    Cop witnesses car-pedestrian collision

    By Lauren Keene | From Page: A2

    Hawaii hit by winds, rain as hurricane veers west

    By The Associated Press | From Page: A2

     
    Evidentiary hearing set for man shot by CHP

    By Lauren Keene | From Page: A2

     
    For the record

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A2

    Firefighters on the town

    By Wayne Tilcock | From Page: A3

     
    Donate used books at Co-op

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A3

    Love-life tips on ‘Heart to Heart’

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A3

     
    Volunteers sought to chip in on parks cleanup

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A3

    Crash victim ID’d as Woodland man

    By Lauren Keene | From Page: A3

     
    Senior Computer Club hears from county official

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A3

    Guns to be discharged at police range

    By Lauren Keene | From Page: A3

     
    DHS ski and snowboard swap set on Nov. 9

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A3

    Wolk sets ‘Morning with the Mayor’

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A3

     
    Safe viewing of solar eclipse planned

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A3

    Fill the Boot for the hungry

    By Lauren Keene | From Page: A3

     
    Quiz Master Gardeners at open house

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A3

     
    Celebrate origami at Davis library

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A3

    Esparto home targeted in three-city pot bust

    By Lauren Keene | From Page: A4

     
    Apply by Friday for Biberstein grants

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A4

     
    Wolk earns perfect score from senior advocates

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A7

    UCD celebrates 50 years of global agricultural success

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A9 | Gallery

     
    Special education information night scheduled

    By Jeff Hudson | From Page: A11

    Be on the lookout for tagged Monarch butterflies

    By Kathy Keatley Garvey | From Page: A16 | Gallery

     
    .

    Forum

    Old news disturbs the present

    By Creators Syndicate | From Page: B5

     
    Take time to reach out for help

    By Creators Syndicate | From Page: A8

    Are we there yet? Yik Yakking the day away

    By Tanya Perez | From Page: A8

     
    A bionic hand with feeling

    By The Associated Press | From Page: A8

    Ain’t Snow Mountain high enough

    By Our View | From Page: A14

     
    Let’s take Davis’ energy future seriously

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A14

    Teach cyclists to obey laws

    By Letters to the Editor | From Page: A14

     
    Proposed lights harm kids

    By Letters to the Editor | From Page: A14

    Water theater isn’t fun

    By Letters to the Editor | From Page: A15

     
    Elect Granda to board

    By Letters to the Editor | From Page: A15

    Yes on Prop. 47: reasonable changes to curb recidivism, save money

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A15

     
    No on Prop. 47: an end to safe neighborhoods, and more victims

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A15

    Be careful cycling on Fifth

    By Letters to the Editor | From Page: A15

     
    .

    Sports

    Competitive Aggies fall at No. 6/7 Montana

    By Bruce Gallaudet | From Page: B1 | Gallery

     
    Devils stick it to Chico, cancer

    By Evan Ream | From Page: B1 | Gallery

     
    Vargas emerges from crowded Aggie WR corps

    By Bruce Gallaudet | From Page: B1 | Gallery

    JV Devils fall to Franklin

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: B2

     
    Niemi leads Sharks to win

    By The Associated Press | From Page: B4

    UCD roundup: Big crowd sees Aggies nip Guachos

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: B8 | Gallery

     
    .

    Features

    .

    Arts

    .

    Business

     
    Davis is a temple for fine beverages

    By Wendy Weitzel | From Page: A5 | Gallery

    Arcadia Biosciences earns spot on global innovation list

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A6

     
    35 employers will be at West Sac job fair

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A6

    Rob White: Building an economy on innovation

    By Rob White | From Page: A6

     
    .

    Obituaries

    Sadie Louise Barga

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A4

     
    Morgan Wheeler

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A4

    Peggy Belenis Swisher

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A4

     
    .

    Comics

    Comics: Sunday, October 19, 2014

    By Creator | From Page: B8