Friday, August 22, 2014
YOLO COUNTY NEWS
99 CENTS

Am I doing it wrong?

AnniesMailbox

By
From page B5 | August 27, 2013 |

Dear Annie: I am 46 years old and have one problem. I hate sex.

Everyone, including my boyfriend of seven years, thinks there’s something wrong with me. I’m sure there is, but I have hated having sex since I was first intimate. I can’t believe he has stayed with me this long.

I don’t like to be touched by anyone. As soon as someone gets close, I move away so they don’t accidentally brush against me. I force myself to have sex with my boyfriend and pretend I enjoy it because I know it’s not fair to deny him. But the whole time we are being intimate, I’m thinking, “Is this ever going to end?” What is wrong with me?

— Maryland Miss

Dear Maryland: Sex should be a pleasurable activity. There are people who are disinterested or ambivalent about sex. But someone who dislikes being touched may have psychological issues that were not resolved or sensory issues that were never addressed. We commend you for being willing to work on this. Please talk to your doctor and also contact AASECT (American Association of Sexuality Educators, Counselors and Therapists) at aasect.org. They may be able to guide you toward a healthier, happier outlook.

————

Dear Annie: I am a first-time grandma to a beautiful baby girl. We live in the same town. I offered to be the caregiver at their home, but my daughter-in-law prefers to take the baby with her on a 50-mile round-trip to a daycare near her job. I was devastated by that decision, but accepted it.

What I’m having trouble understanding is how often I see the baby. During my few short visits, I have not felt comfortable in their home. I communicate with my son because my daughter-in-law seems very standoffish. I told my son I don’t wish to be a burden on their household routine, but twice I made arrangements to see the baby only to be told on the day of that visit that I had to leave after 30 minutes. The last visit was five weeks ago.

I phoned my son and begged to see the baby more often. He agreed at the time that once a week (depending on their schedule) was not unreasonable. I set up an hour visit for this week, and when I arrived at their door, they were preparing to leave the house. My visit, which meant so much to me, was totally forgotten.

My son and his wife have known each other only 13 months. Between the pregnancy, the marriage, the birth and moving into their home, I know it’s been stressful, so I’ve tried to be patient. What is a reasonable expectation for visiting the new baby?

— Want To Know My Granddaughter

Dear Want: There is no definitive timetable for visiting. It depends on the flexibility and schedules of those involved, as well as the willingness of the participants. Your daughter-in-law apparently is not keen on having you around, and your son is caught in the middle. Don’t push. Instead, make it your goal to become closer to your daughter-in-law. Be her friend. Call her. Ask how she’s doing. Let her know you value her and think she’s a good wife and mother. See whether you can arrange an excursion to the mall or a concert — whatever interests her. If you can help her to be more comfortable around you, the visits will likely increase.

————

Dear Annie: Please tell “Need Help,” the teenager who has mood swings, that most teachers check their email throughout the summer and during school vacations. No matter when it is, most of us are just an email away. We still care about our students, regardless of whether it’s summertime, winter vacation or spring break. That letter broke my heart. It sounds like a student I had this year. I hope he emails me.

— Teacher in Louisville, Ky.

————

Annie’s Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column. Please email your questions to anniesmailbox@comcast.net, or write to: Annie’s Mailbox, c/o Creators Syndicate, 737 3rd Street, Hermosa Beach, CA 90254. To find out more about Annie’s Mailbox and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate Web page at www.creators.com.

— Creators Syndicate Inc.

Comments

comments

Special to The Enterprise

  • Recent Posts

  • Enter your email address to subscribe to this newspaper and receive notifications of new articles by email.

  • .

    News

    No easy task: History buffs still trying to save building

    By Dave Ryan | From Page: A1 | Gallery

     
    DHS musicians back from summer in Italy

    By Jeff Hudson | From Page: A1 | Gallery

     
    City to overhaul its sprinkler heads, other water-wasters

    By Dave Ryan | From Page: A1 | Gallery

    Davis indecent-exposure suspect pleads no contest

    By Lauren Keene | From Page: A2

     
    Not-guilty plea entered in Woodland homicide case

    By Lauren Keene | From Page: A2

     
    Russian aid convoy reaches war-torn Luhansk

    By The Associated Press | From Page: A2

     
    Parents’ Night Out features Vacation Bible School

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A3

    Afternoon tours of city wetlands resume Sept. 6

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A3 | Gallery

     
    Yolo County golf tournament enters fourth year

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A3

     
    Putah Creek Council appoints new executive director

    By Elizabeth Case | From Page: A3

    Communitywide ice bucket challenge on Sunday

    By Anne Ternus-Bellamy | From Page: A3

     
    Prunes take center stage at last agri-tour of the summer

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A4

     
    In need of food? Apply for CalFresh

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A4

    Can you give them a home?

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A4 | Gallery

     
    Saylor will meet constituents at Peet’s

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A4

    Event will unveil mural celebrating food justice

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A4

     
    Writing couple stops at Davis bookstore

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A5 | Gallery

    Explorit: Final Blast show returns for second year

    By Lisa Justice | From Page: A5

     
    Wolk bill would require reporting of water system leaks

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A5

    Record drought saps California honey production

    By The Associated Press | From Page: A6

     
    World travelers

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A8

     
    Seniors set to stroll through Arboretum

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A9

    .

    Forum

    Weightlifters causing a racket

    By Creators Syndicate | From Page: B5

     
    No support for militarization

    By Letters to the Editor | From Page: A10

    A better use for this vehicle

    By Letters to the Editor | From Page: A10

     
    Police are our friends, right?

    By Letters to the Editor | From Page: A10

    Wage plan has a big flaw

    By Letters to the Editor | From Page: A10

     
    Bridging the digital divide with computational thinking

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A10

     
    Tom Meyer cartoon

    By Debbie Davis | From Page: A10

    .

    Sports

    Watney and McIlroy struggle at start of The Barclays

    By Wire and staff reports | From Page: B1

     
    Light-hitting Cats fall

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: B1

    Giants win nightcap in Chicago

    By The Associated Press | From Page: B1 | Gallery

     
    Watts likes what he’s seen in keen Aggie DB competition

    By Bruce Gallaudet | From Page: B1 | Gallery

     
    Sports briefs: Big West soccer coaches have high hopes for UCD men

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: B8 | Gallery

    .

    Features

    .

    Arts

     
    Davis Chinese Film Festival to kick off with 1994 favorite

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A11

    Rock Band campers perform at E Street Plaza

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A11

     
    Natsoulas to host mural conference

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A11

    Yolo Mambo to play free show

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A11

     
    ‘If I Stay’: Existential angst

    By Derrick Bang | From Page: A11

    .

    Business

    Car Care: Teenagers not driving safe cars, study shows

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A6

     
    Car Care: Feeling the summer heat? Your car battery is too

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A7

    Three-wheeled Elio gets closer to going on sale

    By The Associated Press | From Page: A12 | Gallery

     
    .

    Obituaries

    .

    Comics

    Comics: Friday, August 22, 2014

    By Creator | From Page: B6