Tuesday, March 3, 2015
YOLO COUNTY NEWS
99 CENTS

And then, there’s this one …

AnniesMailbox

Dear Readers: Happy Mother’s Day. Please phone your mother, grandmother, mother-in-law, stepmother or foster mother and wish them the best. And our special good wishes to all the new mommies who are celebrating their very first Mother’s Day. Also, please don’t forget those for whom this day, for whatever reason, is filled with sadness. Give them a call and say you are thinking of them.

————

Dear Annie: Another Mother’s Day is here, and I dread it. I dislike spending any time with my mother, but I do it anyway because I feel it is the right thing to do.

My father was an alcoholic, and Mom was abusive, both emotionally and physically. Many times, my siblings and I had to sit in the car outside the bars while my parents were inside drinking. She also beat us with the wire end of a fly swatter. One of her favorite things was to slap me across the face. But what hurt the most were the cruel and cutting things she said about how I looked and dressed.

Growing up, I had to wait on her hand and foot, getting her cigarettes, beer, coffee or anything else. I also was expected to do a lot of the housework and cooking. Ironically, I don’t resent that as much because I learned skills I might not have otherwise developed. Her abuse also taught me to be a better parent, because I knew how I did not want to raise my children.

I know Mom was unhappy, and I am sure she felt trapped, but so did my father. She is now a widow, cries a lot and wants attention and sympathy. When I was diagnosed with cancer, it was all about what she was going through. She never once asked me how I was doing. After 63 years of this, I am tired of her excuses for the way she treated me. She has never said she was sorry. It was always someone else’s fault. Am I a bad daughter for not wanting to be around her?

— Over It

Dear Over: No. We think you’ve put up with a great deal over the years. Whatever you give back to your mother now is a selfless act of pure kindness.

————

Dear Annie: This is in response to “N.Y., N.Y.,” the 34-year-old who is reluctant to visit her elderly grandmother. The writer stated that the grandmother doesn’t know who she is half the time. That means she does know who she is the other half.

I understand that some people have a hard time visiting hospitals and nursing homes or seeing a loved one change. But this grandmother is a living, breathing person with feelings, memories and needs. It is inexcusable to turn your back on a loved one because it makes you uncomfortable.

There are many other ways to support someone who is homebound or living in a facility. Cards, letters, pictures and phone calls can delight someone who may not be able to communicate in other ways. For the last two years of her life, I sent my aunt postcards on a weekly basis, even though she had dementia. When she died, we found them in her bedside table. Her caretaker said my aunt carried them around with her. They helped her feel connected to me, even though we lived 3,000 miles apart.

It is also important to support the primary caregivers. I was my own mother’s primary support. Mom didn’t call me by name for the last eight years of her life, but I could tell by the way she looked at me, even to her last day, that she knew who I was and loved me with everything she had.

”N.Y.” is old enough to understand what being part of a family really means. I hope she gets it before her precious grandmother is gone.

— Part of a Family in N.H.

————

Annie’s Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column. Email your questions to [email protected], or write to: Annie’s Mailbox, c/o Creators Syndicate, 737 3rd Street, Hermosa Beach, CA 90254. To find out more about Annie’s Mailbox and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate Web page at www.creators.com.

— Creators Syndicate Inc.

Comments

comments

Special to The Enterprise

  • Recent Posts

  • Enter your email address to subscribe to this newspaper and receive notifications of new articles by email.

  • .

    News

    Nominees sought for city’s human rights awards

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A1

     
    Pedal power: It’s a different kind of March Madness

    By Felicia Alvarez | From Page: A1 | Gallery

    STEM-Tastic Sunday highlights summer opportunities

    By Chloe Lessard | From Page: A1 | Gallery

     
    County: Baby Justice was on Social Services’ radar

    By Lauren Keene | From Page: A1 | Gallery

    Budget standoff leaves California college hopefuls in limbo

    By The Associated Press | From Page: A1

     
    House to vote on Homeland bill without conditions

    By The Associated Press | From Page: A2

    State to supply just 20 percent of water

    By The Associated Press | From Page: A2

     
    Bob Dunning: Rampant crime on the streets of Davis

    By Bob Dunning | From Page: A2, 1 Comment | Gallery

    For the record

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A2

     
    Appeals court upholds protection for threatened seabird

    By The Associated Press | From Page: A2

    Pets of the week

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A3 | Gallery

     
    ‘Pearls Before Swine’ joins daily comics lineup

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A4

     
    Winter market wraps up Wednesday

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A4

    Public broadband, on ‘Davisville’

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A4

     
    Alcoholic liver disease strikes Hispanics years earlier

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A4

    Embroiderers will discuss needlework tools

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A4

     
    Tuleyome needs volunteers for work party

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A4 | Gallery

    Holmes’ talent showcased

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A5 | Gallery

     
    Bingo games Sunday will benefit DHS Madrigals’ trip

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A5

    Go all in for fun at Texas Hold ‘Em tournament

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A5

     
    DCC Nursery School hosts open house

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A5

     
    Join a fitness party at Zumba class

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A5

    Logos Books hosts conversation groups, poetry readings

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A5

     
    Get a taste of Middle Earth at library

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A5

    Sure and begorrah!

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A6

     
    Cycle de Mayo kicks off Bike Month

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A6

    Overeaters get support at meetings

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A6Comments are off for this post

     
    Klein’s book featured at Authors on the Move

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A6

     
    City says it did not OK Ygrene mailers

    By Dave Ryan | From Page: A6

    .

    Forum

    The kids aren’t interested

    By Creators Syndicate | From Page: B5

     
    One more family insult

    By Creators Syndicate | From Page: B5

    UCD alums will want to stay

    By Letters to the Editor | From Page: A8

     
    End the use of this word

    By Letters to the Editor | From Page: A8

    Thanks for act of kindness

    By Letters to the Editor | From Page: A8

     
    Tom Meyer cartoon

    By Debbie Davis | From Page: A8

    Cannery CFD creates unequal taxation patchwork

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A8

     
    Climate changes are inevitable

    By Letters to the Editor | From Page: A8

    Act for our children’s future

    By Letters to the Editor | From Page: A8

     
    .

    Sports

    Dream run ends for Davis’ master wrestlers

    By Evan Ream | From Page: B1 | Gallery

     
    Devil boys net an easy tennis victory

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: B1 | Gallery

    In the Clubhouse: Summerhays Jr. talks about new post at El Macero CC

    By Bruce Gallaudet | From Page: B1 | Gallery

     
    Lady Blue Devils in semis Tuesday night

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: B1

     
    Aggie men host two big ones this week

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: B1

    Newly acquired Smith scores in Sharks’ victory

    By The Associated Press | From Page: B3 | Gallery

     
    Sports briefs: Aggie lacrosse team takes home opener

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: B3

    Blue Devil girls look for revenge in the pool

    By Kellen Browning | From Page: B10 | Gallery

     
    DHS boys aim to repeat as section swim champs

    By Kellen Browning | From Page: B10

    .

    Features

    Name Droppers: Dunn graduates from Marine Corps basic training

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A7 | Gallery

     
    .

    Arts

    Songs of the Civil War to be performed by Anonymous 4

    By Jeff Hudson | From Page: A9 | Gallery

     
    Davis Chorale starts year with demanding music

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A9

    Thursday Live! features Keith Cary, Wyatt Hesemeyer

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A9

     
    .

    Business

    .

    Obituaries

    Dieter W. Gruenwedel

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A4

     
    Otto Vasak

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A4

    .

    Comics

    Comics: Tuesday, March 3, 2015 (set 1)

    By Creator | From Page: B5

     
    Comics: Tuesday, March 3, 2015 (set 2)

    By Creator | From Page: B7