Friday, November 28, 2014
YOLO COUNTY NEWS
99 CENTS

Bad advice creates big drama

By
From page B5 | April 23, 2013 |

Dear Annie: My friend “Nina” just broke up with her boyfriend of five years. We are here for her, trying to help in any way we can, even though we think she is out of her mind for doing this.

One of our friends has been telling Nina lies about the guy, saying he has been talking about her behind her back. I have never heard him do this. All he has ever said is that he loves Nina and doesn’t understand why she broke things off.

This friend has a reputation for being dishonest. There have been fights about this before. She has backstabbed Nina twice in the past, yet Nina always turns to her when she thinks her world is collapsing. Nina has told me that she doesn’t trust this woman, but they continue to act like sisters.

I care a great deal about Nina, but at what point does a 40-year-old woman grow up? Maybe Nina needs to have her life blow up in her face so she gets a clue. Is there anything I can do?

— A Real Friend

Dear Friend: Not really. Nina knows this woman lies to her, and yet she is willing to break off an otherwise good relationship over it. We think Nina does this on purpose. It provides an excuse for her to sabotage her relationships and be miserable. Either she doesn’t believe she deserves happiness or she likes creating drama. Tell Nina you care about her and want her to be happy, but she is going to have to do some work to get there. Suggest counseling, but don’t hold your breath.

————

Dear Annie: The other day, we invited a couple out to lunch as our guests. However, my wife and I were upset when they ordered appetizers without asking us. We never order appetizers, because we watch our diets and feel the dinner provides plenty of food. Also, since we were paying for it, why would they order something we ourselves didn’t order?

We kept our thoughts to ourselves but would like to know whether this was proper.

— Feeling Exploited

Dear Exploited: Guests should always take their cues from the hosts. If you did not suggest appetizers, they should not have ordered them on their own. However, as hosts, you cannot insist that your guests share your food preferences in a restaurant. It would have been gracious of you to ask whether they would like to order appetizers, provided you could afford to do so.

————

Dear Annie: I’m writing in response to “Worried Family in Illinois,” whose brother is addicted to drugs. This tugged at my heart because I’m dealing with that very problem in my own family.

While it’s true that a person needs to be willing and ready before rehab will truly work, the key is giving your loved one an opportunity to get clean long enough to think clearly. There is a law in my area that most attorneys don’t even know about called Casey’s Law. It allows you to file a petition against the addicted person. If adequate proof is shown that the individual is not capable of making good decisions, the judge can rule that the person has to get help. My loved ones are doing wonderfully, and even though it will be a lifetime commitment, they now have a chance at a life.

— From One Worried Family to Another

Dear Worried: Thank you. Casey’s Law is currently available only in Kentucky, Ohio and Indiana. It requires filling out a petition for involuntary treatment. Information and copies of the petition can be found at caseyslaw.org or Operation Unite (operationunite.org/treatment/caseys-law) at 1-866-908-6483.

————

Annie’s Snippet for Earth Day: I would feel more optimistic about a bright future for man if he spent less time proving that he can outwit Nature and more time tasting her sweetness and respecting her seniority.

 — E.B. White

————

Annie’s Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column. Email your questions to anniesmailbox@comcast.net, or write to: Annie’s Mailbox, c/o Creators Syndicate, 737 3rd Street, Hermosa Beach, CA 90254. To find out more about Annie’s Mailbox and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate Web page at www.creators.com.

— Creators Syndicate Inc.

Comments

comments

Special to The Enterprise

  • Recent Posts

  • Enter your email address to subscribe to this newspaper and receive notifications of new articles by email.

  • .

    News

    Shop-local focus highlights Small Business Saturday

    By Bob Schultz | From Page: A1 | Gallery

     
    Looking for the gift of life

    By Anne Ternus-Bellamy | From Page: A1 | Gallery

    The artistic process of a neighborhood legend

    By Lily Holmes | From Page: A1 | Gallery

     
    Davis MRAP didn’t go far: Woodland

    By Dave Ryan | From Page: A1

    Explorit: Water expert will speak Dec. 15

    By Lisa Justice | From Page: A3

     
    Ceremony Tuesday celebrates MU bus terminal

    By Dave Jones | From Page: A3 | Gallery

     
    Free bike clinic, ride set Sunday

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A4

    Locals come through for families in need

    By Lauren Keene | From Page: A4 | Gallery

     
    Travel the world at Logos Books

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A4

    Dormant-season pruning tips offered

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A4

     
    Junior high students set walkathon fundraiser

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A4

    Horse owners needed for online survey

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A4

     
    Sierra Club calendars on sale Saturday

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A4

    Enterprise holiday decorating contest is back

    By Kimberly Yarris | From Page: A4

     
    Flyway Nights talk focuses on sea otters of Elkhorn Slough

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A5 | Gallery

    Chamber of Commerce lays out 5-year plan

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A5

     
    Workshop will answer financial aid questions

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A7

    Holiday gifts galore available at crafts fair

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A7

     
    Shakespeare folio discovered in France

    By New York Times News Service | From Page: A7 | Gallery

    Students come together for sustainability

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A7 | Gallery

     
    Wolks share their unique perspective on Davis

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A9

    Christmas Bird Count workshop planned Wednesday

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A9

     
    Watch, then make, a holiday floral decoration

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A9

    .

    Forum

    Behavior straining friendship

    By Creators Syndicate | From Page: B5

     
    Many thanks for a great benefit

    By Letters to the Editor | From Page: A6

    It all started at the bookstore

    By Letters to the Editor | From Page: A6

     
    What can we do to help?

    By Letters to the Editor | From Page: A6

    What if we really need it?

    By Letters to the Editor | From Page: A6

     
    Tom Meyer cartoon

    By Debbie Davis | From Page: A6

    Tom Elias: Utilities look to soak small users

    By Tom Elias | From Page: A6

     
    Cheers and Jeers: Thankfully, no jeers

    By Our View | From Page: A6

    .

    Sports

    Seahawks shut down San Francisco

    By The Associated Press | From Page: B1

     
    Aggies out-Fox Utah State after dramatic Les shot to forces overtime

    By Bruce Gallaudet | From Page: B1 | Gallery

    Defense, depth lead Aggie women to home win

    By Bruce Gallaudet | From Page: B1 | Gallery

     
     
    Youth roundup: 10 titles for the Diamonds Level 3 gymnastics squad

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: B4 | Gallery

    .

    Features

    .

    Arts

    Mumbo Gumbo plays for post-Thanksgiving dance party

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A11

     
    ‘Horrible Bosses 2′: Fire ‘em all!

    By Derrick Bang | From Page: A11 | Gallery

     
    .

    Business

    Sonata evolves into more sophisticated car

    By Ann M. Job | From Page: C1 | Gallery

     
    .

    Obituaries

    John Walter Neves Jr.

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A4

     
    .

    Comics

    Comics: Friday, November 28, 2014 (set 2)

    By Creator | From Page: B3

     
    Comics: Friday, November 28, 2014 (set 1)

    By Creator | From Page: A10