Friday, February 27, 2015
YOLO COUNTY NEWS
99 CENTS

Blended, or chopped and puréed?

AnniesMailbox

Dear Annie: My husband and I have a blended family with his two girls and my three sons. I am so grateful that we both took on this challenge.

We had some good times, and we had some bad times, and when I say bad, I mean horrible. Our children are all adults now, and we are still butting heads over them, mostly my boys. He has given up on two of my sons because he says they don’t respect him, not to mention some less than legal activity they decided to embark on in our home while we were on vacation.

But, Annie, I feel as if he has never really cared for them. I try to help them with rides or letting them wash clothes at our house or whatever I can do. People mature at different levels, and maybe I help too much, but they are my kids. At what point am I supposed to turn my back on them? My husband says that because I help them against his wishes, it means I love them more than him. That isn’t true.

One son is homeless and has to look for a place to stay every night. That breaks my heart. My husband found him downstairs sleeping one morning and told me that I’d better get him out or he would call the police. He won’t even allow me to let my son shower here.

I realize the boys need to make it on their own, but am I supposed to turn my back on them when they need help? At what point do you give up on your kids and choose your husband instead? I feel like such a horrible mom.

— Worried for Them

Dear Worried: Your husband should not be issuing ultimatums wherein you must choose between the man you love and the children you love. This is unfair and creates tremendous resentment. Your husband may have good cause to want the kids out of the house, but it’s difficult to do when they have no place to go. How old are they? Do they have jobs? Would you temporarily assist with their rent if it got them out of the house? Are there substance-abuse issues that need treatment? Try Because I Love You (bily.org), and ask your husband to work with you on this.

————

Dear Annie: I am one of five siblings. My brother was married last fall in a small ceremony that was put together quickly so my mother could be there before she died. He is having a celebration of his marriage later this summer, and the party is being held in another state on the day before my wedding anniversary.

My brother’s party would require travel, hotel and meals. My husband and I have already booked (and paid for) a nonrefundable weekend getaway and made arrangements with his parents to watch our kids. We did this three months before my brother sent out his save-the-date cards.

How do I break the news to my brother? I should add that I am rarely included in anything the rest of the family does, and I worry that if I miss this event, I will never be included in anything again.

— Little Sis

Dear Sis: Call your brother and let him know you have a conflict. Tell him you are heartbroken to miss his party and wish you could find a way out of your nonrefundable reservations, but it’s not possible. Then send him a lovely wedding gift to make up for your absence. These things happen. There’s nothing more you can do.

————

Dear Annie: This is for “N.N.,” whose husband is depressed. Please tell her to have him tested for celiac disease. Depression is one of the symptoms.

My husband was depressed for a long period of time and even threatened to take his life. We were finally able to determine that he had celiac disease. Doctors are not that familiar with the symptoms.

— Betty

————

Annie’s Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column. Email your questions to [email protected], or write to: Annie’s Mailbox, c/o Creators Syndicate, 737 3rd Street, Hermosa Beach, CA 90254. To find out more about Annie’s Mailbox and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate Web page at www.creators.com.

— Creators Syndicate Inc.

Comments

comments

Special to The Enterprise

.

News

 
New greenhouse will add to ‘Farm to Mouth’ program

By Anne Ternus-Bellamy | From Page: A1 | Gallery

 
Learn about pollinators, gardens and honey at Yolo Basin fundraiser

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A1 | Gallery

Can you give them a home?

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A2 | Gallery

 
For the record

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A2

Fire damages South Davis home

By Lauren Keene | From Page: A2 | Gallery

 
Gerber nominations close Saturday

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A3

 
Explorit: Humming right along

By Lisa Justice | From Page: A3

Flower arrangers feature S.F. designer

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A3

 
Celebrate Africa on Saturday at I-House

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A3

Wolk and Dodd team up to provide Napa earthquake tax relief

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A4

 
Robb Davis to speak about homelessness, energy

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A4

Spring sing-along is March 4

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A4

 
Chamber explores how to pay for Davis’ needs

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A4

Two free yoga classes offered March 12

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A5

 
Take a night walk at Cache Creek

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A5

Class of 1970 plans 45-year reunion

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A5

 
Bicycle safety course to be offered in Davis

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A5

 
Documentary on immigration issues will be screened

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A5

Learn about your brain on March 14

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A5

 
A fill-up mishap

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A5

Adopt a household for Bridge to Housing participants

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A7

 
Workshop will teach sustainable gardening methods

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A8

 
.

Forum

Tired of all of this

By Creators Syndicate | From Page: B5

 
Oral Health Project launches

By Letters to the Editor | From Page: B6

Here an H, there an H

By Letters to the Editor | From Page: B6

 
Cavalier attitude about bike safety

By Letters to the Editor | From Page: B6

Start early to build healthy dental habits

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: B6

 
Tom Meyer cartoon

By Debbie Davis | From Page: B6

 
No extra cost for containers

By Letters to the Editor | From Page: B6

.

Sports

Inquiring minds want to know about Aggies

By Bruce Gallaudet | From Page: B1

 
Encouraging start for DHS boys tennis team

By Enterprise staff | From Page: B1 | Gallery

Off day for Aggie men at UCSB

By Kim Orendor | From Page: B1 | Gallery

 
Aggie women fall to 4th after lackluster showing

By Bruce Gallaudet | From Page: B1 | Gallery

Lady Devils are on to the SJS semis

By Spencer Ault | From Page: B1 | Gallery

 
Blue Devil boys expect a spike in production

By Thomas Oide | From Page: B1 | Gallery

Late goal lifts Red Wings over Sharks

By The Associated Press | From Page: B4 | Gallery

 
Watney struggling at windy Honda Classic

By Enterprise staff | From Page: B12

 
.

Features

.

Arts

International Film Series to present ‘Jaffa’

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A10

 
Monticello announces March schedule

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A10

The Artery presents ‘Stepping Into Nature’

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A10 | Gallery

 
YoloArts’ Gallery 625 presents ‘The Poetry of Dots’

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A10 | Gallery

‘Focus': A sharply conceived caper

By Derrick Bang | From Page: A11 | Gallery

 
The Woodland Opera House announces 2015-16 season

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A12 | Gallery

.

Business

Nissan’s Z remains an affordable performer

By Ann M. Job | From Page: B3

 
Car Care: Simple DIY steps to protect your car through all seasons

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A7

 
.

Obituaries

Dieter W. Gruenwedel

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A4

 
George Miller Jr.

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A4

Death notice: Celia E. Recchio

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A4

 
Vernon E. Burton

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A4

.

Comics

Comics: Friday, February 27, 2015

By Creator | From Page: B5