Sunday, April 20, 2014
YOLO COUNTY NEWS
99 CENTS

Brother worries his family

AnniesMailbox

Dear Annie: I’m a mother in my mid-20s and a very concerned sister. My brother, “Dennis,” is four years younger and the first to graduate high school. He went to college and had everything going for him. Now he is throwing it all away.

Dennis turned to drugs and has missed important moments in our lives, such as weddings and holidays. He only shows up at my mother’s or grandmother’s house to take a shower, and then he goes out again. My family and I are trying so hard to point him back in the right direction.

Two months ago, I had to have Dennis arrested for assaulting me. We are all worried that something terrible is going to happen. There are times when he is completely out of it and doesn’t know what’s going on. What do we do?

— Worried Family in Illinois

Dear Worried: It is a nightmare when a family member is on drugs, because there is little you can do. Your brother must want to stop and be willing to get appropriate treatment. He’s not there yet. It is important that your family members protect themselves while being open to any genuine efforts your brother makes to get clean. If he is in college, notify the counselors there, and contact Nar-Anon (nar-anon.org) for support.

————

Dear Annie: My nephew is getting married soon. The wedding will take place in Canada. My husband and I do not own passports, nor would we ever buy them, because they are expensive and we would never use them again. We have traveled to other family weddings within the United States, but we don’t feel we should be pressured to attend a wedding out of the country. We can’t afford it.

Do you think we are required to be there?

— Soon To Be Family Outcast

Dear Soon: No. You are not obligated to attend any wedding, and certainly not one that is beyond your financial means. While we believe family members should make an effort to attend one another’s special events, it should not require overextending yourselves. Send your regrets and a nice gift to make up for your absence.

————

Dear Annie: I read the letter from “Need Your Input,” the idiot who was critical of his girlfriend’s Southern drawl. He shouldn’t wait until she moves north. She deserves to know now that he is a passive-aggressive loser.

Who would presume to tell a grown woman that her accent is offensive? I could understand if it were a grammar issue or if her language were laced with profanities, but her speech pattern is who she is. And she will not “lose” it if she moves north. It may soften slightly, but it will never go away completely.

Clearly, this guy has other issues. If he truly cared for her, this accent would not bother him. In fact, most folks find a Southern accent delightful. It is soothing, relaxing and way sexy.

I surely hope this lady discovers who this jerk really is before she changes her life for him.

— A Yankee in North Carolina

Dear Yankee: We agree that if he cannot tolerate her accent, he should not stay in the relationship. But it is not uncommon for people to find one particular trait annoying, no matter how much they otherwise care for a person. And it’s a highly individual degree of preference and tolerance. You love your boyfriend, but think the way he gestures with his hands is appalling. You adore your girlfriend, but she speaks too softly for your taste. These are neither negative nor positive traits to others. This particular guy finds this particular drawl to be grating. He needs to figure out how important it is to him in the grand scheme of his relationship.

————

Annie’s Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column. Email your questions to anniesmailbox@comcast.net, or write to: Annie’s Mailbox, c/o Creators Syndicate, 737 3rd Street, Hermosa Beach, CA 90254. To find out more about Annie’s Mailbox and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate Web page at www.creators.com.

— Creators Syndicate Inc.

Special to The Enterprise

LEAVE A COMMENT

Discussion | No comments

The Davis Enterprise does not necessarily condone the comments here, nor does it review every post. Read our full policy

.

News

Hub of activity: DHS newspaper keeps evolving

By Zoe Juanitas | From Page: A1 | Gallery

 
A springtime ritual

By Wayne Tilcock | From Page: A1 | Gallery

Tom Adams seeks Davis school board seat

By Jeff Hudson | From Page: A1

 
 
Holy fire ceremony draws thousands in Jerusalem

By The Associated Press | From Page: A2 | Gallery

Tour renovated YCCC facility Thursday

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A3

 
Tour Davis Waldorf School on Wednesday

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A3

The fifth annual Tour de Cluck is soon to be hatched

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A3 | Gallery

 
Ortiz lawn signs available

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A3

Sign up soon for spring cooking classes

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A3

 
Robb Davis team to rally on Saturday

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A3

Steadfast in their support

By Lauren Keene | From Page: A4, 6 Comments | Gallery

 
Yolo Hospice offers free grief workshops

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A4

Sign up for Camp Kesem caterpillar crawl

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A4

 
Quilters gear up for annual show

By Sebastian Onate | From Page: A4

League hosts a series of candidate forums

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A5

 
KDVS launches fund drive on Monday

By Jeff Hudson | From Page: A5

Calling all Scrabble fans

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A5, 1 Comment | Gallery

 
Hub webpage is seeing traffic increasing

By Zoe Juanitas | From Page: A8

Learn Chinese crafts at I-House

By Sebastian Onate | From Page: A16

 
Preschool open house set at Davis Waldorf

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A16

Birch Lane celebrates its 50th anniversary

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A16

 
Hotel/conference center info meeting set

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A16

Lescroart welcomes all to book-launch party

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A16 | Gallery

 
DEVO set to serve up 14th annual Winkler Dinner

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A16 | Gallery

.

Forum

Take ownership of your health

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: B5

 
Not thrilled with lack of symmetry

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A7

Reliving the agony and ecstasy of spring

By Marion Franck | From Page: A7

 
Keep your baby safe

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A7

 
Road diet? No, city diet!

By Letters to the Editor | From Page: A12, 4 Comments

We’re reveling in our equality

By Letters to the Editor | From Page: A12, 1 Comment

 
Vote no; it’s fiscally responsible

By Letters to the Editor | From Page: A12, 1 Comment

Rick McKee cartoon

By Debbie Davis | From Page: A12

 
Core values on campus

By Our View | From Page: A12

 
Bill is an affront to UC Davis ag biotech and local farmers

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A13, 1 Comment

Don’t want to sit in Fix 50 traffic? Consider alternatives

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A13, 1 Comment

 
.

Sports

UCD softball shut out by Santa Barbara

By Thomas Oide | From Page: B1 | Gallery

 
Aggie men shoot 9-under, lead own tourney

By Bruce Gallaudet | From Page: B1 | Gallery

Stars shine in Woody Wilson Classic

By Evan Ream | From Page: B1, 1 Comment | Gallery

 
Devils burn up the track

By Enterprise staff | From Page: B1

 
UCD roundup: Aggie baseball swept away by Highlanders

By Enterprise staff | From Page: B2

A’s score 3 in ninth, rally past Astros 4-3

By The Associated Press | From Page: B6

 
.

Features

.

Arts

.

Business

PG&E pays taxes, fees to county, cities

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A9, 1 Comment

 
Will Davis get an Old Soul?

By Wendy Weitzel | From Page: A9

Pediatricians, nurse practitioner hired at Woodland Healthcare

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A9 | Gallery

 
Asian stocks mostly higher after mixed U.S. earnings

By The Associated Press | From Page: A9

Yolo Federal Credit Union gets WISH funds

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A9

 
Davis Roots will showcase its graduating startups

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A14

University Honda wins another President’s Award

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A14 | Gallery

 
Dutch Bros. raises $19,000 for girl with leukemia

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A14 | Gallery

.

Obituaries

.

Comics

Comics: Sunday, April 20, 2014

By Creator | From Page: B8