Thursday, November 20, 2014
YOLO COUNTY NEWS
99 CENTS

Brother’s issues becoming too much

AnniesMailbox

By
May 29, 2011 |

Dear Annie: My parents adopted my brother, “Kyle,” when he was 6 weeks old. As he grew up, it was apparent that something wasn’t right. When Kyle was 18, he was diagnosed as bipolar and schizophrenic and was put on a cocktail of medications. He is now 30 and living at home with my father. (Mom passed away a few months ago.)

Dad and I have noticed recently that Kyle doesn’t appear to be taking his medications. He insists he is being compliant, but he is so delusional that he claims my father’s house is actually his and my father needs to move out. He is constantly stealing money from Dad and has a horrible gambling problem. The small amount he gets from Social Security is gone the minute his fingers touch it.

Dad is in control of Kyle’s bills and gives him a monthly allowance, but when it’s gone, Kyle harasses Dad for more. My father feels like a prisoner in his own home. He won’t throw Kyle out of the house, although we have considered admitting him into an adult home. We know Kyle will not go willingly. We don’t know what to do. Please help.

— Going Crazy

Dear Crazy: You cannot make Kyle compliant, nor can you force him to see a doctor. But your father should get him out of the house, not only for his own sake, but for Kyle’s. At some point, Kyle will need to learn how to live independently, and the longer he avoids it, the harder it will be to adjust. You may need legal assistance to remove Kyle, but we hope that won’t deter you. The situation will not improve if nothing is done to change it. We also suggest you contact the Depression and Bipolar Support Alliance (dbsalliance.org) at 1-800-826-3632 for help.

————

Dear Annie: I am 13 years old. After school, my friend “Cara” sometimes calls and invites me to her house to hang out. But when I get there, she is usually on Facebook or using her iPod Touch. I tell her that this is boring and maybe we should go outside and enjoy the nice weather, but she just waves me off. But if I ask to use the computer, she gets angry and says that we should go outside. It’s like I’m a third wheel when she’s playing with her electronics.

Cara and I have had fights in the past, and I always forgive her because I don’t like to hold a grudge. But I am wondering if I should end our friendship. Do you have any suggestions?

— Fickle Friendship

Dear Friend: You can try to “reprogram” Cara by saying sweetly, “Oh! I didn’t realize you were busy! I’ll come back tomorrow.” And then leave before she can argue with you. After one or two of those, she is likely to put her gadgets aside. Otherwise, let Cara be a Facebook friend, and you can spend your after-school reality time with girls who are more interested in your company.

————

Dear Annie: The letter from “Desperate for Advice” struck a nerve. She found out a girlfriend tricked her husband, claiming her pregnancy was accidental. Now “Desperate’s” husband wants to spill the beans.

I married my wife with the understanding that we would not have any children. A year later, one of her friends let slip that my wife had stopped using birth control. I felt betrayed. My trust was shattered. Counseling helped me see how important motherhood was to my wife, and we eventually had a beautiful daughter. I don’t regret it, but even after 23 years, those old resentments occasionally resurface.

I agree with you, Annie. “Desperate” should ask her husband what he hopes to accomplish by telling. It will only bring pain and hurt to everyone. He should keep his mouth shut and stay out of it. I would have been happier not knowing.

— Ignorance is Bliss

————

Annie’s Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column. Please email your questions to anniesmailbox@comcast.net, or write to: Annie’s Mailbox, c/o Creators Syndicate, 5777 W. Century Blvd., Ste. 700, Los Angeles, CA 90045. To find out more about Annie’s Mailbox and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate Web page at www.creators.com.

Comments

comments

Special to The Enterprise

  • Recent Posts

  • Enter your email address to subscribe to this newspaper and receive notifications of new articles by email.

  • .

    News

    What’s in Village Harvest’s new name? Local control

    By Dave Ryan | From Page: A1 | Gallery

     
    ‘Dolphin Way’ author to speak at Davis Parent University

    By Anne Ternus-Bellamy | From Page: A1 | Gallery

    Jumpstart Davis hopes to spark Davis’ startup scene

    By Elizabeth Case | From Page: A1

     
    UC committee approves tuition hike

    By The Associated Press | From Page: A1 | Gallery

    Cost of Thanksgiving is going up, but not by much

    By The Associated Press | From Page: A2 | Gallery

     
    Bera prevails in close congressional race

    By The Associated Press | From Page: A2

    Analyst: No ‘fiscal cliff’ when tax hikes end

    By The Associated Press | From Page: A2

     
    First of three storms douses California

    By The Associated Press | From Page: A2

     
    Taize services offered at DCC

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A3

    Per Capita Davis: News from the funny papers

    By John Mott-Smith | From Page: A3

     
    Staying clean could harm your health

    By Pat Bailey | From Page: A3

    Racial justice resources available at open house Saturday

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A3

     
    Pre-Thanksgiving Farmers Market open on Nov. 26

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A3 | Gallery

    Realtors seek canned food donations Saturday

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A3

     
    #EggFreezing trends for women in tech

    By San Francisco Chronicle | From Page: A3

    NAMI support group meets Sunday

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A3

     
    Walkers welcome to join Sierra Club outings

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A4

    End a hike with qigong practice

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A4

     
    STEAC jeans drive on Dec. 10

    By Anne Ternus-Bellamy | From Page: A4

    Fraternity launches ‘Green the Greeks’ program

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A4 | Gallery

     
    Museum displays family heirlooms

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A4 | Gallery

    San Diego advances plan to recycle wastewater

    By The Associated Press | From Page: A4

     
    Breakfast with Santa tickets available now

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A4

    Join DHS Madrigals for annual evening of food and music

    By Anne Ternus-Bellamy | From Page: A4

     
    Performers sought to liven up holiday markets

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A5 | Gallery

    For the vets

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A10

     
    .

    Forum

    Tom Meyer cartoon

    By Debbie Davis | From Page: A6

     
    We urge a ‘no’ vote on BDS

    By Letters to the Editor | From Page: A6

    Senior kitty needs a home

    By Letters to the Editor | From Page: A6

     
    David Brooks: Obama in winter

    By David Brooks | From Page: A6

    Caregivers overlook a valuable ally

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A6

     
    .

    Sports

    Offensive line, Turay provide impressive UCD convoy

    By Bruce Gallaudet | From Page: B1 | Gallery

     
    Blue Devil pool teams make one more splash

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: B1 | Gallery

     
    Young DHS harriers have a big day at section championships

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: B2 | Gallery

     
    Youth roundup: Diamonds shine at Level 4 state meet

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: B8 | Gallery

    .

    Features

     
    What’s happening

    By Anne Ternus-Bellamy | From Page: A7

    DHS teacher puts his facial hair on the line in annual fundraiser

    By Anne Ternus-Bellamy | From Page: A7 | Gallery

     
    Backyard apples? It can be done

    By Don Shor | From Page: A8 | Gallery

    Name Droppers: Governor taps UC Davis grad for bench

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A8

     
    Robotics team takes second in Madera competition

    By Anne Ternus-Bellamy | From Page: A10 | Gallery

    .

    Arts

     
    ‘Cat Ballou’ closes Western film series

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A9

     
    Here’s a little more about water conservation

    By Michael Lewis | From Page: A9 | Gallery

    DMTC plans tile-painting fundraiser

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A9

     
    .

    Business

    .

    Obituaries

    Nancy Shepard

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A4

     
    As usual, three’s a crowd

    By Creators Syndicate | From Page: B5

    .

    Comics

    Comics: Thursday, November 20, 2014

    By Creator | From Page: B6