Wednesday, August 27, 2014
YOLO COUNTY NEWS
99 CENTS

Can’t deal with her attitude

AnniesMailbox

By
From page B5 | January 04, 2013 |

Dear Annie: My sister-in-law, “Nina,” is my husband’s only sibling. She is divorced with grown children.

Nina appears to be sweet to most people, but she can get pretty ugly, especially when she drinks. She has ruined more than one occasion with her offensive outbursts, often directed at members of my family. She says these horrid things in front of my children, which makes them uncomfortable.

Nina frequently pops in at our home, so I make polite chitchat and then proceed to go about what I was doing and let her visit with my husband. I don’t want to prevent him from having a relationship with his sister. Apparently, this is the wrong approach, because Nina now tells my husband she “has no idea what she ever did to me” and doesn’t understand why I “hate” her. He sticks up for me, but it puts him in a tough spot.

I should also mention that in the past three months, my sister died, my children left for college, and I had to move my mother into a senior center and sell her house. I do not hate my sister-in-law, but clearly, I have other priorities at this time. I realize I cannot control her behavior, only my own. So, any advice for me?

— Trying To Fly Under the Radar

Dear Trying: We don’t believe there is a “right” approach to Nina. She is simply looking for reasons to respond negatively to you. Let your husband deal with his sister. Be as polite and pleasant as you can manage, but otherwise, ignore her. You should not have to jump through hoops to please someone who isn’t interested. You have enough to deal with.

————

Dear Annie: My husband and I were raised to eat dinner with our families. We ate what Mom prepared, or we went without. We have continued this tradition with our three children. With the exception of sauerkraut and Brussels sprouts, they will eat any food put in front of them. I believe that few children are picky eaters. Rather, their parents have catered to their preferences because it is easier.

We have many friends and family with children the same as age as ours, and I am appalled by what they eat. And they wonder why their kids are often sick and grumpy. I don’t say a word, but it drives me nuts to see a kid eat nothing for dinner but be the first in line for dessert.

My question is this: When we are entertaining other people’s children and one of them says to me, “I don’t like that,” is it OK for me to say, “The appropriate response is ‘No, thank you.’” And can I say that telling the hostess you don’t like her food is considered rude? Am I blowing this out of proportion?

— Midwest Cook

Dear Midwest: These are things the parents should be teaching their children, but obviously, they are sleeping on the job. If the parents are not present, you may educate the children. If the children are your relatives, you may also correct them, provided the parents do not object. However, if they are other people’s children and the parents are present, you may say the first part, but not the rest.

————

Dear Annie: This is in response to “Curled,” whose ex-husband barely sees his older kids now that he’s remarried and has a baby.

I would highly recommend that the writer and any couples with similar issues look at family mediation programs. Many are low-cost or free. The presence of an unbiased mediator gives parents the chance to explain their perspectives while ensuring that the conversation is productive, centered on the needs of the children, and directed toward visitation and custody solutions. In addition, mediation can also allow parents an opportunity to understand how their behavior may be affecting the children. She can call her local family court to learn more.

— Las Vegas

————

Annie’s Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column. Email your questions to anniesmailbox@comcast.net, or write to: Annie’s Mailbox, c/o Creators Syndicate, 737 3rd Street, Hermosa Beach, CA 90254. To find out more about Annie’s Mailbox and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate Web page at www.creators.com.

— Creators Syndicate Inc.

Comments

comments

Special to The Enterprise

  • Recent Posts

  • Enter your email address to subscribe to this newspaper and receive notifications of new articles by email.

  • .

    News

    True Blue Devil Arnold gave back starting in high school

    By Bruce Gallaudet | From Page: A1 | Gallery

     
    City, plaintiffs settle suit over water rates

    By Dave Ryan | From Page: A1 | Gallery

    Scrap the MRAP, council says, but wants a talk with cops

    By Dave Ryan | From Page: A1 | Gallery

     
    Yolo grows sunflower seeds for the world

    By Margaret Burns | From Page: A1 | Gallery

    American militant reportedly killed in Syria

    By The Associated Press | From Page: A2

     
    Gaza cease-fire holds as sides weigh gains

    By The Associated Press | From Page: A2

    California beach town sees flooding from hurricane

    By The Associated Press | From Page: A2 | Gallery

     
    Assembly passes campus sexual-assault bill

    By The Associated Press | From Page: A2

     
    Give blood and get a free movie ticket

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A3

    Chat with Poppenga at coffee shop

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A3

     
    Sunder campaign distributes signs

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A3

    Dinner, auction benefit Yolo County CASA

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A3

     
    Farmworkers’ son wins prestigious NIH scholarship

    By Julia Ann Easley | From Page: A3 | Gallery

    Interested in Portuguese? Drop by I-House

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A3

     
    Play groups offered by Center for Families

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A3

    Solar-cooking workshop set at Food Co-op

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A3

     
    A sweet reward for turning in cash

    By Kathy Keatley Garvey | From Page: A4

    Yolo Federal to hold photo contest

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A4

     
    Try yoga, meditation at Holistic Health Center

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A4

    Troops get ‘Hugs From Home’

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A4

     
    Raley’s pays $1.6 million to settle hazardous-waste lawsuit

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A4

    Back-to-school party benefits Archer campaign

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A4

     
    Breast cancer program examines surgery

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A4

    Crisis nursery bill on governor’s desk

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A4

     
    Global warming on group’s agenda

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A4

    UCD West Village gets an electric Zipcar

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A5

     
     
    Documentary reveals ‘The Village Under the Forest’

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A5

    Little Rock hero featured at reunion

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A7

     
    UCD ranks No. 16 for serving the public interest

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A7

    Wolk’s infrastructure bill clears state Senate

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A9

     
    .

    Forum

    Parents could use a hand at home

    By Creators Syndicate | From Page: B5

     
    Obama risks alienating Latinos

    By Tom Elias | From Page: A6

    A water plan for all of California

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A6

     
    Tom Meyer cartoon

    By Debbie Davis | From Page: A6

    MRAP sends the wrong message

    By Letters to the Editor | From Page: A6

     
    Play structure idea endorsed

    By Letters to the Editor | From Page: A6

    Thanks for firearms info

    By Letters to the Editor | From Page: A6

     
    .

    Sports

    Shaw respects Aggies, while Gould is happy to get a shot at Stanford

    By Bruce Gallaudet | From Page: B1 | Gallery

     
    Devils prep for tough 2014 volleyball schedule

    By Chris Saur | From Page: B1 | Gallery

    Bumgarner deals as Giants blank Rockies

    By The Associated Press | From Page: B1 | Gallery

     
    Buschman, Cats mute the Sounds

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: B1

    New coach eager to see his Aggie charges hit the courses

    By Bruce Gallaudet | From Page: B1 | Gallery

     
    Carter’s blast send Astros past A’s

    By The Associated Press | From Page: B2

    Sports briefs: Online registration ends Friday for Labor Day Races

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: B8 | Gallery

     
    .

    Features

    Field to fork: Play catch-up with summer’s produce

    By Dan Kennedy | From Page: A10 | Gallery

     
    .

    Arts

    .

    Business

    .

    Obituaries

    Franco M. Navazio, M.D.

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A4

     
    .

    Comics

    Comics: Wednesday, August 27, 2014

    By Creator | From Page: B6