Friday, December 19, 2014
YOLO COUNTY NEWS
99 CENTS

Can’t deal with her attitude

AnniesMailbox

By
From page B5 | January 04, 2013 |

Dear Annie: My sister-in-law, “Nina,” is my husband’s only sibling. She is divorced with grown children.

Nina appears to be sweet to most people, but she can get pretty ugly, especially when she drinks. She has ruined more than one occasion with her offensive outbursts, often directed at members of my family. She says these horrid things in front of my children, which makes them uncomfortable.

Nina frequently pops in at our home, so I make polite chitchat and then proceed to go about what I was doing and let her visit with my husband. I don’t want to prevent him from having a relationship with his sister. Apparently, this is the wrong approach, because Nina now tells my husband she “has no idea what she ever did to me” and doesn’t understand why I “hate” her. He sticks up for me, but it puts him in a tough spot.

I should also mention that in the past three months, my sister died, my children left for college, and I had to move my mother into a senior center and sell her house. I do not hate my sister-in-law, but clearly, I have other priorities at this time. I realize I cannot control her behavior, only my own. So, any advice for me?

— Trying To Fly Under the Radar

Dear Trying: We don’t believe there is a “right” approach to Nina. She is simply looking for reasons to respond negatively to you. Let your husband deal with his sister. Be as polite and pleasant as you can manage, but otherwise, ignore her. You should not have to jump through hoops to please someone who isn’t interested. You have enough to deal with.

————

Dear Annie: My husband and I were raised to eat dinner with our families. We ate what Mom prepared, or we went without. We have continued this tradition with our three children. With the exception of sauerkraut and Brussels sprouts, they will eat any food put in front of them. I believe that few children are picky eaters. Rather, their parents have catered to their preferences because it is easier.

We have many friends and family with children the same as age as ours, and I am appalled by what they eat. And they wonder why their kids are often sick and grumpy. I don’t say a word, but it drives me nuts to see a kid eat nothing for dinner but be the first in line for dessert.

My question is this: When we are entertaining other people’s children and one of them says to me, “I don’t like that,” is it OK for me to say, “The appropriate response is ‘No, thank you.'” And can I say that telling the hostess you don’t like her food is considered rude? Am I blowing this out of proportion?

— Midwest Cook

Dear Midwest: These are things the parents should be teaching their children, but obviously, they are sleeping on the job. If the parents are not present, you may educate the children. If the children are your relatives, you may also correct them, provided the parents do not object. However, if they are other people’s children and the parents are present, you may say the first part, but not the rest.

————

Dear Annie: This is in response to “Curled,” whose ex-husband barely sees his older kids now that he’s remarried and has a baby.

I would highly recommend that the writer and any couples with similar issues look at family mediation programs. Many are low-cost or free. The presence of an unbiased mediator gives parents the chance to explain their perspectives while ensuring that the conversation is productive, centered on the needs of the children, and directed toward visitation and custody solutions. In addition, mediation can also allow parents an opportunity to understand how their behavior may be affecting the children. She can call her local family court to learn more.

— Las Vegas

————

Annie’s Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column. Email your questions to anniesmailbox@comcast.net, or write to: Annie’s Mailbox, c/o Creators Syndicate, 737 3rd Street, Hermosa Beach, CA 90254. To find out more about Annie’s Mailbox and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate Web page at www.creators.com.

— Creators Syndicate Inc.

Comments

comments

Special to The Enterprise

.

News

 
UCD, UC team up to study effects of climate change

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A1 | Gallery

Teens’ goal? Helping other soccer players around the world

By Anne Ternus-Bellamy | From Page: A1 | Gallery

 
There’s a plate for you at the Davis Holiday Meal

By Dave Ryan | From Page: A1 | Gallery

Police seek suspect in hit-and-run collision

By Lauren Keene | From Page: A2

 
Help sought in search for runaway Davis teen

By Lauren Keene | From Page: A2

Feds release ‘framework’ to rate colleges

By The Associated Press | From Page: A2

 
Gunfire leads to DUI arrest

By Lauren Keene | From Page: A2

 
Creative women share food, friendship

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A3

Konditorei presents free holiday concert

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A3

 
Welcome 2015 with Mumbo Gumbo at a gala bash

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A3

 
Luminaria display planned in West Davis

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A3

Sierra Club calendars on sale Saturday

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A3

 
Willett bench is a labor of love

By Jeff Hudson | From Page: A4

Author! Author! UCD hosts talks, Q and A on Asia-focused books

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A4

 
Blue Christmas service planned at Davis churches

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A4

Libraries will be closed around the holidays

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A5

 
See diving ducks at city wetlands tour

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A5 | Gallery

 
Downtown gift cards get a new perk

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A6

Meditation, Buddhism classes offered

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A7

 
A home for the holidays?

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A8 | Gallery

Nobel Prize winner will discuss research related to autism

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A8

 
Traditional carols service is Saturday at St. Martin’s

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A9

Explorit: Experience nano this spring

By Lisa Justice | From Page: A9 | Gallery

 
Supplies collected for victims of abuse

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A11

Grandmothers support group meets weekly

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A11, 1 Comment

 
Soup’s On will benefit NAMI-Yolo

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A11

Donate to STEAC at Original Steve’s

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A11

 
.

Forum

He needs them to pay up

By Creators Syndicate | From Page: B5

 
Kudos to Central Park Gardens donors and volunteers

By Letters to the Editor | From Page: A14

Tom Meyer cartoon

By Debbie Davis | From Page: A14

 
Cheers and Jeers: Have you ever seen the rain?

By Our View | From Page: A14

Defeating Ebola involves medicine, and prayers

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A14 | Gallery

 
.

Sports

Cousins is back in lineup but Kings fall

By The Associated Press | From Page: B1 | Gallery

 
Devil boys hold off scrappy Rio Linda

By Bruce Gallaudet | From Page: B1 | Gallery

Lady Blue Devils rout an undefeated Liberty squad

By Enterprise staff | From Page: B1

 
UCD RB coach Wright heads to Florida; what next?

By Bruce Gallaudet | From Page: B1

Aggies nab junior college defensive lineman

By Enterprise staff | From Page: B1

 
Nostra-Dunning makes his college bowl picks

By Bob Dunning | From Page: B2

Tennyson’s first goal is the difference in Sharks win

By The Associated Press | From Page: B6 | Gallery

 
.

Features

Name droppers: Trio elected to academy of inventors

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A11

 
.

Arts

 
‘Before Midnight’ screening is tonight

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A15

DMTC plans New Year’s Eve party

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A15

 
Tom Rigney and Flambeau to play

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A15

 
DMTC announces auditions for ‘Sweeney Todd’

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A15

 
.

Business

After 19 years, Alfa Romeo returns

By Ann M. Job | From Page: A16

 
.

Obituaries

Rena Sylvia Smilkstein

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A6

 
.

Comics