Friday, April 24, 2015
YOLO COUNTY NEWS
99 CENTS

Can’t deal with her attitude

AnniesMailbox

By
From page B5 | January 04, 2013 |

Dear Annie: My sister-in-law, “Nina,” is my husband’s only sibling. She is divorced with grown children.

Nina appears to be sweet to most people, but she can get pretty ugly, especially when she drinks. She has ruined more than one occasion with her offensive outbursts, often directed at members of my family. She says these horrid things in front of my children, which makes them uncomfortable.

Nina frequently pops in at our home, so I make polite chitchat and then proceed to go about what I was doing and let her visit with my husband. I don’t want to prevent him from having a relationship with his sister. Apparently, this is the wrong approach, because Nina now tells my husband she “has no idea what she ever did to me” and doesn’t understand why I “hate” her. He sticks up for me, but it puts him in a tough spot.

I should also mention that in the past three months, my sister died, my children left for college, and I had to move my mother into a senior center and sell her house. I do not hate my sister-in-law, but clearly, I have other priorities at this time. I realize I cannot control her behavior, only my own. So, any advice for me?

— Trying To Fly Under the Radar

Dear Trying: We don’t believe there is a “right” approach to Nina. She is simply looking for reasons to respond negatively to you. Let your husband deal with his sister. Be as polite and pleasant as you can manage, but otherwise, ignore her. You should not have to jump through hoops to please someone who isn’t interested. You have enough to deal with.

————

Dear Annie: My husband and I were raised to eat dinner with our families. We ate what Mom prepared, or we went without. We have continued this tradition with our three children. With the exception of sauerkraut and Brussels sprouts, they will eat any food put in front of them. I believe that few children are picky eaters. Rather, their parents have catered to their preferences because it is easier.

We have many friends and family with children the same as age as ours, and I am appalled by what they eat. And they wonder why their kids are often sick and grumpy. I don’t say a word, but it drives me nuts to see a kid eat nothing for dinner but be the first in line for dessert.

My question is this: When we are entertaining other people’s children and one of them says to me, “I don’t like that,” is it OK for me to say, “The appropriate response is ‘No, thank you.'” And can I say that telling the hostess you don’t like her food is considered rude? Am I blowing this out of proportion?

— Midwest Cook

Dear Midwest: These are things the parents should be teaching their children, but obviously, they are sleeping on the job. If the parents are not present, you may educate the children. If the children are your relatives, you may also correct them, provided the parents do not object. However, if they are other people’s children and the parents are present, you may say the first part, but not the rest.

————

Dear Annie: This is in response to “Curled,” whose ex-husband barely sees his older kids now that he’s remarried and has a baby.

I would highly recommend that the writer and any couples with similar issues look at family mediation programs. Many are low-cost or free. The presence of an unbiased mediator gives parents the chance to explain their perspectives while ensuring that the conversation is productive, centered on the needs of the children, and directed toward visitation and custody solutions. In addition, mediation can also allow parents an opportunity to understand how their behavior may be affecting the children. She can call her local family court to learn more.

— Las Vegas

————

Annie’s Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column. Email your questions to [email protected], or write to: Annie’s Mailbox, c/o Creators Syndicate, 737 3rd Street, Hermosa Beach, CA 90254. To find out more about Annie’s Mailbox and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate Web page at www.creators.com.

— Creators Syndicate Inc.

Comments

comments

Special to The Enterprise

.

News

New design submitted for conference center

By Dave Ryan | From Page: A1 | Gallery

 
Water and power have a troubling interdependency

By New York Times News Service | From Page: A1 | Gallery

 
Bob Dunning: Fairness is an afterthought for them

By Bob Dunning | From Page: A2

Los Angeles march to commemorate Armenian killings

By The Associated Press | From Page: A2

 
Hostage deaths a reminder of risk of ‘deadly mistakes’

By The Associated Press | From Page: A2

Walkers head out three times weekly

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A4Comments are off for this post

 
Got bikes? Donate ‘em!

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A4

 
Need a new best friend?

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A4 | Gallery

Beginning tai chi classes start May 5

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A4

 
College Night set April 30 at DHS

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A4

School board hears report on health services

By Jeff Hudson | From Page: A5

 
Tour of co-ops precedes Sacramento conference

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A5

Mamajowali will perform at benefit house concert

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A6 | Gallery

 
Explorit: Celebrate International Astronomy Day

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A6

Learn basics of composting in Woodland

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A6

 
Winkler Dinner raises funds for enology, viticulture activities

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A8 | Gallery

Raptor Center welcomes visitors at May 2 open house

By Trina Wood | From Page: A8 | Gallery

 
Take a peek at region’s past at Tremont Mite Society’s social

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A8 | Gallery

BeerFest expands to include cider

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A8

 
Mapping where human action is causing earthquakes

By New York Times News Service | From Page: A9

Hummingbird health: Appreciating the little things

By Kat Kerlin | From Page: A12 | Gallery

 
.

Forum

 
Thanks for supporting the arts

By Letters to the Editor | From Page: B4

Bike Swap another success

By Letters to the Editor | From Page: B4

 
Drink is a tasteless insult

By Letters to the Editor | From Page: B4

Tom Meyer cartoon

By Debbie Davis | From Page: B4

 
The fight for gender pay equity

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: B4

It’s a depressing beat

By Creators Syndicate | From Page: B5

 
.

Sports

Lehner talks about the UCD student-athlete experience

By Bruce Gallaudet | From Page: B1

 
Reeling Blue Devils stop skid against Sheldon

By Evan Ream | From Page: B1 | Gallery

Aggie Spring Game environment will up the gridiron fun factor

By Bruce Gallaudet | From Page: B1 | Gallery

 
Rare DHS track loss still full of highlights

By Enterprise staff | From Page: B1

 
DYSA roundup: Lester, Osborne lead Storm over Dixon

By Enterprise staff | From Page: B3 | Gallery

Lady Demons’ fundraiser a smash hit

By Enterprise staff | From Page: B3 | Gallery

 
Pro baseball roundup: River Cats lose their fourth straight

By Staff and wire reports | From Page: B12

.

Features

.

Arts

 
‘Ex Machina': The perils of playing God

By Derrick Bang | From Page: A10 | Gallery

Ceramicist works will be featured at The Artery

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A11 | Gallery

 
.

Business

Chamber expands Korean sister-city opportunities

By Felicia Alvarez | From Page: A5 | Gallery

 
Car Care: Tips for buying your first ATV

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: B6

Subaru goes rear-wheel drive with sporty BRZ coupe

By Ann M. Job | From Page: B7 | Gallery

 
.

Obituaries

Whitney Joy Engler

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A4

 
Valente Forrest Dolcini

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A4

.

Comics

Comics: Friday, April 24, 2015

By Creator | From Page: B5