Dear Annie: I am a 64-year-old man in excellent health. The problem is, I never have had much luck with the ladies. I adore all kinds of women: tall ones, short ones, average ones and even plump ones. The only ladies I do not find attractive are the grossly fat ones and those who smoke, drink too much or use drugs.
But, Annie, women don’t seem to like me at all, and I don’t know why. I am well read and easy to get along with and try to help people when I can. I don’t drink or smoke. I exercise a lot and eat healthy food. I am mostly bald, and so I shave off the few hairs that still grow on top of my fully functional solar cell. I am not a sports nut. I don’t go to bars because the music is too loud, and most of the women I meet there like their booze too much.
My brother has always been popular with the ladies. I don’t know what he has that I don’t. I’ve tried online dating sites, but they haven’t worked for me. I would like to meet some decent women. What am I doing wrong?
— Lonely in Nova Scotia
Dear Lonely: We don’t know. A well-read, helpful, decent guy who is in excellent health and interested in nearly all kinds of women should be a catch for someone. Are you looking for women in the right age bracket? Do you lecture them on their exercise, smoking or drinking habits? Are you clean and decently dressed?
Join an organization or do an activity that you enjoy. It’s a good way to meet people with similar interests. Tell your friends and relatives that you are looking. Ask your brother what he thinks the problem might be — and pay attention to his answer.
Dear Annie: Our son graduated from college more than two years ago. He has not looked for a job, nor does he have a résumé. He claims that he can’t put a résumé together because he didn’t participate in any school activities and has no job experience, although he has done quite a bit of volunteer work at his church.
He spends much of his time playing video games. Currently, he plays all night. He goes to bed when other people are just waking up and then sleeps until late afternoon.
We have never pushed him hard. He helps some around the house, but my wife and I like to do things ourselves. Our son is intelligent and moral, does not drink or smoke, and is well liked. But I worry about his lack of ambition. He refuses to talk to a counselor to determine whether something is holding him back. I’ve told him that unless he shows some initiative, he eventually will be too old for anyone to want to hire him. He doesn’t want any of the part-time jobs that are easily available, because he says he cannot learn anything from them. I’ve said he should at least show he is willing to work. Do you have any suggestions?
— Frustrated Dad
Dear Dad: Stop waiting for your son to show initiative and give him some motivation. Tell him he has three weeks to get a job because you will be charging him rent. And make the amount large enough to require an income. Don’t back down. If he doesn’t like it, he can mooch off of someone else. Offer to help him put together a resume. Two years of lazing around playing video games is not going to inspire confidence in his work ethic, but the longer he waits the harder it will be.
Dear Annie: I’d like to respond to the letter from “Fleas a Crowd in Hawaii,” whose friend gave her a great massage, but afterward she was covered in fleabites. It may be that these are not bug bites of any kind, but rather an allergic reaction to the lotion or oil used during the massage.
Dear C.: You could be right. Itching can result from a great many things. But if she saw actual bite marks, as opposed to irritation, itching or a rash, the assumption is that something bit her.
Annie’s Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column. Email your questions to email@example.com, or write to: Annie’s Mailbox, c/o Creators Syndicate, 737 3rd Street, Hermosa Beach, CA 90254. To find out more about Annie’s Mailbox and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate Web page at www.creators.com.
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