Friday, November 28, 2014
YOLO COUNTY NEWS
99 CENTS

Can’t stand the son-in-law

AnniesMailbox

By
From page B5 | August 05, 2014 |

Dear Annie: I’m worried that my daughter has married a narcissist. The man has no empathy for others. He does what he wants, when he wants. He constantly puts down one group or another, and in fact, his performance reviews at work indicate he needs to be more “culturally diversified.”

He is envious of others at the same level in his organization and comes off as though he knows everything, which is clearly not the case. He always wants to buy my daughter (or himself) the nicest jewelry, car or whatever so that he’ll look good. He’ll take advantage of others to achieve his goals.

They now have a 7-month-old boy. We recently visited, and my son-in-law made me so angry, I blew up at him and had to leave the room. I apologized, but only to say that I’m sorry for my outburst. I’m wondering where I go from here. I will visit my grandson in spite of his father, but I’d like things to be civil.

I’ve read narcissism is one of the most difficult disorders to treat because the person with the disorder feels he’s always right and there’s nothing wrong with him, so therapy is out of the question. Should I play to his ego and claim I was wrong? Do I confront him again with the real issue? Or do I forget it and hope for the best at the next visit?

— Worried Grandpa

Dear Grandpa: You’ve already apologized for whatever argument you had before, and we see no reason to bring it up again. In fact, we’d steer clear of any discussion where you are likely to lose your temper. The fact that your son-in-law is a know-it-all and you don’t like him doesn’t mean he is a bad husband or father, and those should be your main concerns. If your daughter loves him and he is good to their son, please try to get along with him for their sake. You don’t have to enjoy his company, but you can be polite.

————

Dear Annie: I’ve been shopping with my 13-year-old several times recently and am just appalled by what is in fashion. I would never let my child out of the house wearing the short shorts or skimpy midriff shirts that I’ve seen in popular stores geared toward teens.

What is wrong with the fashion industry for teenagers? Why can’t designers come up with clothing that actually covers our girls? Don’t they realize that many schools have dress codes? It shouldn’t be this difficult to find affordable teen clothing that is appropriate for school.

— Disgusted Virginia Mom

Dear Disgusted: We agree that many articles of clothing for teenage girls are highly sexualized and inappropriate, especially for school. In the past, readers have suggested purchasing athletic wear or checking out stores like Old Navy and Lands’ End. You also should talk to the managers of the stores you regularly patronize and ask them to stock styles that appeal to daughters without making parents cringe.

————

Dear Annie: I read the letter from “Tired of Listening,” whose negative wife has become much worse. He could have been writing about my late mother-in-law. She, too, had a negative streak, but almost overnight became worse. We commented on it, but she appeared to have no clue what we were talking about.

When Mom went to the doctor for a seemingly unrelated medical issue (she couldn’t feel her nose), we found out that she had suffered a series of small strokes that coincided with this change in behavior. There were no physical signs, but the strokes had affected her personality and her ability to filter what she was thinking and saying aloud.

”Tired” should have his wife examined. While it may not prevent her from “speaking her mind,” it will give the family a little bit of empathy toward her.

— Mid Missouri

————

Annie’s Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column. Email your questions to anniesmailbox@comcast.net, or write to: Annie’s Mailbox, c/o Creators Syndicate, 737 3rd Street, Hermosa Beach, CA 90254. To find out more about Annie’s Mailbox and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate Web page at www.creators.com.

— Creators Syndicate Inc.

Comments

comments

Creators Syndicate

  • Recent Posts

  • Enter your email address to subscribe to this newspaper and receive notifications of new articles by email.

  • .

    News

    Shop-local focus highlights Small Business Saturday

    By Bob Schultz | From Page: A1 | Gallery

     
    Looking for the gift of life

    By Anne Ternus-Bellamy | From Page: A1 | Gallery

    The artistic process of a neighborhood legend

    By Lily Holmes | From Page: A1 | Gallery

     
    Davis MRAP didn’t go far: Woodland

    By Dave Ryan | From Page: A1

    Bob Dunning: MRAP your arms around this

    By Bob Dunning | From Page: A2

     
    Holiday shopping in full gear

    By The Associated Press | From Page: A2 | Gallery

    Tell us your Putah Creek stories

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A2

     
    Gorilla death prompts S.F. Zoo changes

    By The Associated Press | From Page: A2

    Explorit: Water expert will speak Dec. 15

    By Lisa Justice | From Page: A3

     
    Ceremony Tuesday celebrates MU bus terminal

    By Dave Jones | From Page: A3 | Gallery

     
    Junior high students set walkathon fundraiser

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A4

    Horse owners needed for online survey

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A4

     
    Sierra Club calendars on sale Saturday

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A4

    Enterprise holiday decorating contest is back

    By Kimberly Yarris | From Page: A4

     
    Free bike clinic, ride set Sunday

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A4

    Locals come through for families in need

    By Lauren Keene | From Page: A4 | Gallery

     
    Travel the world at Logos Books

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A4

    Dormant-season pruning tips offered

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A4

     
    Flyway Nights talk focuses on sea otters of Elkhorn Slough

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A5 | Gallery

    Chamber of Commerce lays out 5-year plan

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A5

     
    Holiday gifts galore available at crafts fair

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A7

    Shakespeare folio discovered in France

    By New York Times News Service | From Page: A7 | Gallery

     
    Students come together for sustainability

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A7 | Gallery

    Workshop will answer financial aid questions

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A7

     
    Watch, then make, a holiday floral decoration

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A9

    Wolks share their unique perspective on Davis

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A9

     
    Christmas Bird Count workshop planned Wednesday

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A9

    .

    Forum

    Behavior straining friendship

    By Creators Syndicate | From Page: B5

     
    Tom Meyer cartoon

    By Debbie Davis | From Page: A6

    Tom Elias: Utilities look to soak small users

    By Tom Elias | From Page: A6

     
    Cheers and Jeers: Thankfully, no jeers

    By Our View | From Page: A6

    Many thanks for a great benefit

    By Letters to the Editor | From Page: A6

     
    It all started at the bookstore

    By Letters to the Editor | From Page: A6

    What can we do to help?

    By Letters to the Editor | From Page: A6

     
    What if we really need it?

    By Letters to the Editor | From Page: A6

    .

    Sports

    Aggies out-Fox Utah State after dramatic Les shot to forces overtime

    By Bruce Gallaudet | From Page: B1 | Gallery

     
    Defense, depth lead Aggie women to home win

    By Bruce Gallaudet | From Page: B1 | Gallery

     
    Seahawks shut down San Francisco

    By The Associated Press | From Page: B1

     
    Youth roundup: 10 titles for the Diamonds Level 3 gymnastics squad

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: B4 | Gallery

    .

    Features

    .

    Arts

     
    ‘Horrible Bosses 2′: Fire ‘em all!

    By Derrick Bang | From Page: A11 | Gallery

    Mumbo Gumbo plays for post-Thanksgiving dance party

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A11

     
    .

    Business

    Sonata evolves into more sophisticated car

    By Ann M. Job | From Page: C1 | Gallery

     
    .

    Obituaries

    John Walter Neves Jr.

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A4

     
    .

    Comics

    Comics: Friday, November 28, 2014 (set 2)

    By Creator | From Page: B3

     
    Comics: Friday, November 28, 2014 (set 1)

    By Creator | From Page: A10