Tuesday, September 16, 2014
YOLO COUNTY NEWS
99 CENTS

Can’t understand this change

AnniesMailbox

By
From page B5 | August 20, 2014 |

Dear Annie: Eight months ago, our highly educated 43-year-old daughter informed my wife that she hates her. She put on a humiliating performance in front of her two children, a stepchild, her husband and us. We don’t understand this at all, but she now wants nothing to do with us.

We do not deserve such treatment. We have been good, helpful parents and grandparents. In March, I phoned my daughter and asked why she hates her mother. She refused to discuss it. Three months later, I wrote her a letter and asked again. She has not responded.

Our daughter’s first marriage was not good, and we helped her emotionally and financially. Is a therapist giving her bad advice? Does she have a split personality? Might she be in a cult? Is her husband pushing her to do this? Please help us find a reason for this shabby, disrespectful treatment.

— Bewildered dad in Illinois

Dear Dad: Your concerns are all interesting possibilities, but extreme. More likely, your daughter blames her mother for things that have gone wrong in her life. You may see it differently, but this is your daughter’s version, and to her, it is the truth. Please don’t argue with her. Instead, ask whether all of you can go for counseling together to work through whatever issues are troubling her, so you can be a family again. We hope she will agree.

————

Dear Annie: My neighbor’s tree hangs 15 feet over my property line and shades my crabapple tree. When I asked “Ralph” to trim his tree so that mine could get some sunlight, he went ballistic and refused.

Whenever Ralph and his wife go on vacation, I water their dozens of plants and take in their mail. I no longer want to do either of these things, because they obviously don’t appreciate it. I once asked them to watch my dog when I needed to go to the emergency room, and they wouldn’t do it.

Ralph got into a fistfight with the neighbor on the other side when the man wanted to install a fence on his property. He once physically pushed the cable installers when they tried to lay down cable for another neighbor.

All I want is for Ralph to trim his tree so that mine can survive. Do you think I should water their plants and take in their mail in the future?

— Unhappy Neighbor

Dear Neighbor: Ralph sounds like a loose cannon. It’s your decision whether or not to take care of his mail and plants. You are not obligated to do so, and he certainly does not reciprocate.

But about the tree: In most cases, it is legal for you to trim the branches that hang over your property line, provided you do not harm the tree. However, we don’t recommend you confront Ralph directly with this because he is so volatile. Do you have a neighborhood association that can help mediate the issue? Would his wife intercede? As a last resort, you can take Ralph to court. And if he is causing your crabapple tree to die, you can sue for damages.

————

Dear Annie: I felt compelled to respond to “Miss Lonely,” whose ex left her with two kids and she’s looking for love.

I was in her situation, divorced with two children. I started working part time, which built up my self-esteem. My friends and family encouraged me to return to school, which I did. I also got counseling for my children and myself, which helped.

Tell her to get involved with group activities. Surround herself with good friends and family. I am involved with my local church and belong to two knitting groups. Check your newspaper or meetup.com for local information, and step out of your comfort area. You never know who you will meet and the friends you could make.

— Florida

————

Annie’s Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column. Please email your questions to anniesmailbox@comcast.net, or write to: Annie’s Mailbox, c/o Creators Syndicate, 737 3rd Street, Hermosa Beach, CA 90254. To find out more about Annie’s Mailbox and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate Web page at www.creators.com.

— Creators Syndicate Inc.

Comments

comments

Creators Syndicate

  • Recent Posts

  • Enter your email address to subscribe to this newspaper and receive notifications of new articles by email.

  • .

    News

    Davis school nurses are stretched thin

    By Jeff Hudson | From Page: A1 | Gallery

     
     
    Dempsey: If campaign fails, ground troops possible

    By The Associated Press | From Page: A2

     
    Scotland took long road to independence vote

    By The Associated Press | From Page: A2

    Wright resigns his seat in California Senate

    By The Associated Press | From Page: A2 | Gallery

     
    New DHS Hall-of-Famers

    By Wayne Tilcock | From Page: A3

     
    Exploration of dementia lecture set for Sept. 25

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A3

     
    Sierra Club gathers for morning walks

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A3

    DPNS has afternoon openings

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A3

     
    Paws for Thought: Socialize your new pup at UCD’s Yappy Hour

    By Evelyn Dale | From Page: A3 | Gallery

     
    DHS parents go back to school

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A3

    Sick-pay benefits expanded to millions

    By San Francisco Chronicle | From Page: A4

     
    Bad roads cost Californians billions

    By The Associated Press | From Page: A4

    Farmers market continues at Sutter Davis

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A4 | Gallery

     
    Yolo County’s looking for a few good advisers

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A4

    Search the Internet at Connections Café

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A5

     
    Garage, bake sales benefit outdoor education trip

    By Anne Ternus-Bellamy | From Page: A5

    Sutter qigong classes start Sept. 22

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A5

     
    Halloween costume sale benefits preschool

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A5

    Hundreds flee wildfires; homes burn

    By The Associated Press | From Page: A5 | Gallery

     
    Harmony Award nominations sought

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A7

     
    Da Vinci seniors take on Constitution essay

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A8

    .

    Forum

    Sounds like a swell party

    By Creators Syndicate | From Page: B5

     
    Maybe not the best rebound guy

    By Creators Syndicate | From Page: B5

    Carbon fee and dividend plan is the answer

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A6

     
    Nate Beeler cartoon

    By Debbie Davis | From Page: A6

     
    Many reasons to back Sunder

    By Letters to the Editor | From Page: A6

    I support Madhavi Sunder

    By Letters to the Editor | From Page: A6

     
    A leader with heart and vision

    By Letters to the Editor | From Page: A6

    .

    Sports

    Finding the good in a tough DHS football loss

    By Spencer Ault | From Page: B1

     
    More pressure on QB would be nice for Aggies

    By Bruce Gallaudet | From Page: B1

    Raber: glad to join in bringing readers golf column

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: B1

     
    Open Cup final has local flavor

    By Evan Ream | From Page: B1

    Devil volleyball victories keep piling up

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: B1 | Gallery

     
    DHS needs just 10 boys to top Elk Grove

    By Evan Ream | From Page: B1 | Gallery

    Highlights galore in Junior Blue Devil weekend

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: B3 | Gallery

     
    Sports briefs: Big Monday for Masiel as DHS golfers win league opener

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: B8 | Gallery

    .

    Features

    .

    Arts

    ‘Shrek, The Musical’ shines at DMTC

    By Bev Sykes | From Page: A11 | Gallery

     
    Irish fiddlers come to Davis house show

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A11

    Jenny Lynn and Her Real Gone Daddies play at Picnic in the Park

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A11 | Gallery

     
    Woodland artist hosts event at her new studio

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A11

    ‘Jane Eyre’ to screen at I-House

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A11

     
    Anais Mitchell to play Third Space

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A11

    .

    Business

    .

    Obituaries

    .

    Comics

    Comics: Tuesday, September 16, 2014 (set 1)

    By Creator | From Page: B5

     
    Comics: Tuesday, September 16, 2014 (set 2)

    By Creator | From Page: B7