Friday, December 26, 2014

Cut off and neglected


From page B5 | August 14, 2014 |

Dear Annie: My dad passed away three years ago. He was one of my best friends, and we shared a love of classic automobiles.

The day Dad died, I chose to stay at work rather than go to the hospital. I run a business, and if I don’t work, I don’t get paid. That evening, when I tried to console my mother, she asked, “Where were you?” She refused to look at me, so I left.

To my mother and her side of the family, it seems I am always doing the wrong thing. It was Dad who encouraged me to go my own way. My sister and her husband took over the sale of my mother’s house. I didn’t ask for anything. However, I do know classic car restorers and offered to help with the sale of my father’s cars when Mother said she wanted to get rid of them.

When I found a potential buyer for one last month, Mother informed me that she had given the car to my sister as a thank-you for all the work she and her husband had done for her during the sale of her home. Supposedly, they are “restoring” the car and plan to keep it in the family. No one bothered to tell me. I was angry and upset.

My friends all agree that my mother was wrong to give the car to my sister without telling me. I can no longer trust any of them, so either I let it go or cut ties. Who knows what else they’ve kept from me? If they truly cared about me, they would include me in family decisions. I was working on becoming closer to make up for our estrangement after Dad died, but now I feel betrayed. I am tired of paying for a debt I do not owe.

— Missing Dad

Dear Missing: You seem to be in complete opposition to your family. They say “left,” and you say “purple.” Perception means a great deal. When you stayed at work instead of being at your father’s side, your family interpreted that to mean you didn’t care. When your mother then gave you the cold shoulder, you should have apologized instead of leaving. From her perspective, if you don’t care, why should she give you the cars to restore? And you believe that because you and Dad shared a love of those cars, she should have given you a voice in the decision.

You aren’t communicating in the same language, and your anger is clouding the issue. Before the estrangement becomes permanent, please see whether you can work on this. Ask Mom to go with you for counseling. We hope she will so you both can express yourselves with a mediator present to translate.


Dear Annie: I have fibromyalgia and other medical problems and need counseling for depression. I am on disability, so my income is limited, and I am unable to drive. I was wondering whether you could help me.

— J.

Dear J.: Please try one of these organizations: the National Fibromyalgia Association (; the American Chronic Pain Association (; United Way, YMCA and YWCA; the Samaritan Institute (; and Recovery International at You also can find low-cost or free counseling through your local hospitals and university psychology and graduate-school counseling departments.


Dear Annie: A while back, “Given Up Hope Out East” wrote that she was 50 years old and obese. She said she was happy and not going to diet anymore. It’s been months, and I haven’t been able to get her out of my mind. She needs to get busy and lose it before she gets older.

I’m 75 and morbidly obese and certainly wish I’d gotten it under control when I was 50. It gets 10 times harder every year to lose weight. I’ve lost 30 pounds in the past six months, but it’s really hard. I still have almost 200 pounds to go. Tell her to get with it!

— Getting There


Annie’s Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column. Email your questions to, or write to: Annie’s Mailbox, c/o Creators Syndicate, 737 3rd Street, Hermosa Beach, CA 90254. To find out more about Annie’s Mailbox and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate Web page at

— Creators Syndicate Inc.



Creators Syndicate

  • Recent Posts

  • Enter your email address to subscribe to this newspaper and receive notifications of new articles by email.

  • .


    Transit survey: 47 percent ride bikes to UCD campus

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A1 | Gallery

    Exchange students bring the world to Davis

    By Anne Ternus-Bellamy | From Page: A1 | Gallery

    Pastor has many plans for CA House

    By Jeff Hudson | From Page: A1 | Gallery

    Playing Santa

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A2 | Gallery

    Goats help recycle Christmas trees

    By The Associated Press | From Page: A2 | Gallery

    Special holiday gifts

    By Sue Cockrell | From Page: A3

    Woodland-Davis commute bus service expands

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A3

    Learn fruit tree tips at free class

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A3

    Davis Bike Club hears about British cycling tour

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A3

    Pick up a Davis map at Chamber office

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A3

    Sierra Club calendars on sale Saturday

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A3

    Explorit: Get a rise out of science

    By Lisa Justice | From Page: A4

    NAMI meeting offers family support

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A6

    Yoga, chanting intro offered

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A8



    Blamed for her sister’s rage

    By Creators Syndicate | From Page: B5

    How much for the calling birds?

    By Creators Syndicate | From Page: B5

    Steve Sack cartoon

    By Debbie Davis | From Page: A10

    Many ensured a successful parade

    By Letters to the Editor | From Page: A10

    Thanks for putting food on the table

    By Letters to the Editor | From Page: A10



    Two more for the road for 9-1 Aggie men

    By Bruce Gallaudet | From Page: B1 | Gallery

    Patterson is college football’s top coach

    By The Associated Press | From Page: B1 | Gallery

    Clippers get a win over Golden State

    By The Associated Press | From Page: B1 | Gallery

    NBA roundup: Heat beat Cavs in LeBron’s return to Miami

    By The Associated Press | From Page: B10 | Gallery





    ‘Unbroken': A bit underwhelming

    By Derrick Bang | From Page: A11 | Gallery

    Folk musicians will jam on Jan. 2

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A11



    Passat: Roomy, affordable sedan with German engineering

    By Ann M. Job | From Page: B3 | Gallery



    James J. Dunning Jr.

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A4

    Floyd W. Fenocchio

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A4



    Comics: Friday, December 26, 2014 (set 2)

    By Creator | From Page: B7

    Comics: Thursday, December 26, 2014 (set 1)

    By Creator | From Page: A9