Wednesday, August 27, 2014
YOLO COUNTY NEWS
99 CENTS

Dealing with loudmouth relatives

AnniesMailbox

By
From page B5 | March 03, 2013 |

Dear Annie: I am 60 years old and have a cousin the same age. “Kevin’s” conversations are sexist, racist, immature and extremely self-centered. He mocks people who recycle and told me helping others is “a waste of time.” His takes on current events and politics sound like drunken barroom rants. I find myself walking away from him shell-shocked.

I know we are supposed to keep away from toxic people, but Kevin and I had many wonderful adventures together when we were young. We still have our past memories and a few subjects in common. But I’m afraid he is taking my silence during these rants for tacit approval. Does he need to be challenged? Am I being idealistic to think he might change, or should I just try to keep my distance?

— Florida Cousin

Dear Florida: Kevin may never change his narrow-minded views, but that doesn’t mean you have to sit in silence. If you don’t want to cut him out of your life, understand that he is going to say things that bother you, and it’s perfectly fine to tell him so. It doesn’t require confrontation. Simply say, “Kevin, I strongly disagree with you and don’t wish to discuss it further,” and then change the subject. If he persists, you have the option of ending the conversation altogether. In time, either Kevin will understand which subjects are off-limits, or you will be spending a lot less time in his company.

————

Dear Annie: I am the youngest of seven children and the only one who didn’t marry young. I am also the only one who attended college. I am graduating in May and mentioned to my parents that I hoped to have a small graduation party with family and close friends. One friend already offered to make my cake.

You can imagine my disappointment when my parents said it was silly to have a graduation party, and they’d rather spend money on a wedding whenever I get married. Annie, I wasn’t asking them to spend money. I just wanted to use the hospitality of their home because my college apartment is a few hours away. I’ve worked hard for my degree, and I’m hurt by their lack of excitement. I want to share my happiness. I don’t need gifts. Would it be against etiquette to throw myself a party?

— Puzzled

Dear Puzzled: It is OK to give yourself a party, but please don’t mention your graduation until after your guests arrive. You don’t want to give the impression of, “I’m so fantastic and accomplished — bring presents.” Simply say you want to have a party. You can then tell them during the event that you are celebrating your degree. Another option is to get together with your classmates and have a group celebration, whereby you are essentially giving a graduation party for one another.

————

Dear Annie: I read the letter from “Sickened on the East Coast,” the mom whose 8th-grade child came home with a questionable summer reading list.

As a teacher and a parent, I know that schools are as respectful as the people in charge. Reading specialists are highly trained professionals who choose books that will help children understand that there are many challenging parts of life that are not pretty. But the responsibility of what children read in their free time still belongs to parents.

Without banning books, “Sickened” can help her child choose material that builds character. Online, she can narrow her search for books that promote specific traits, such as gratitude, honesty, generosity and courage. “Sickened” also could do a web search on “character education,” where she will find numerous books written by authors who feel the same way she does.

— A Parent First

————

Annie’s Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column. Email your questions to anniesmailbox@comcast.net, or write to: Annie’s Mailbox, c/o Creators Syndicate, 737 3rd Street, Hermosa Beach, CA 90254. To find out more about Annie’s Mailbox and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate Web page at www.creators.com.

— Creators Syndicate Inc.

Comments

comments

Special to The Enterprise

.

News

City, plaintiffs settle suit over water rates

By Dave Ryan | From Page: A1 | Gallery

 
Scrap the MRAP, council says, but wants a talk with cops

By Dave Ryan | From Page: A1 | Gallery

Yolo grows sunflower seeds for the world

By Margaret Burns | From Page: A1 | Gallery

 
True Blue Devil Arnold gave back starting in high school

By Bruce Gallaudet | From Page: A1 | Gallery

Gaza cease-fire holds as sides weigh gains

By The Associated Press | From Page: A2

 
California beach town sees flooding from hurricane

By The Associated Press | From Page: A2 | Gallery

 
Assembly passes campus sexual-assault bill

By The Associated Press | From Page: A2

American militant reportedly killed in Syria

By The Associated Press | From Page: A2

 
Sunder campaign distributes signs

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A3

Dinner, auction benefit Yolo County CASA

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A3

 
Farmworkers’ son wins prestigious NIH scholarship

By Julia Ann Easley | From Page: A3 | Gallery

Interested in Portuguese? Drop by I-House

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A3

 
Play groups offered by Center for Families

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A3

Solar-cooking workshop set at Food Co-op

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A3

 
Give blood and get a free movie ticket

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A3

Chat with Poppenga at coffee shop

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A3

 
Raley’s pays $1.6 million to settle hazardous-waste lawsuit

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A4

Back-to-school party benefits Archer campaign

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A4

 
Breast cancer program examines surgery

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A4

Crisis nursery bill on governor’s desk

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A4

 
Global warming on group’s agenda

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A4

A sweet reward for turning in cash

By Kathy Keatley Garvey | From Page: A4

 
Yolo Federal to hold photo contest

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A4

Try yoga, meditation at Holistic Health Center

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A4

 
Troops get ‘Hugs From Home’

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A4

 
Documentary reveals ‘The Village Under the Forest’

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A5

UCD West Village gets an electric Zipcar

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A5

 
Little Rock hero featured at reunion

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A7

 
UCD ranks No. 16 for serving the public interest

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A7

Wolk’s infrastructure bill clears state Senate

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A9

 
.

Forum

Parents could use a hand at home

By Creators Syndicate | From Page: B5

 
Obama risks alienating Latinos

By Tom Elias | From Page: A6

A water plan for all of California

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A6

 
Tom Meyer cartoon

By Debbie Davis | From Page: A6

MRAP sends the wrong message

By Letters to the Editor | From Page: A6

 
Play structure idea endorsed

By Letters to the Editor | From Page: A6

Thanks for firearms info

By Letters to the Editor | From Page: A6

 
.

Sports

Buschman, Cats mute the Sounds

By Enterprise staff | From Page: B1

 
New coach eager to see his Aggie charges hit the courses

By Bruce Gallaudet | From Page: B1 | Gallery

Shaw respects Aggies, while Gould is happy to get a shot at Stanford

By Bruce Gallaudet | From Page: B1 | Gallery

 
Devils prep for tough 2014 volleyball schedule

By Chris Saur | From Page: B1 | Gallery

Bumgarner deals as Giants blank Rockies

By The Associated Press | From Page: B1 | Gallery

 
Carter’s blast send Astros past A’s

By The Associated Press | From Page: B2

Sports briefs: Online registration ends Friday for Labor Day Races

By Enterprise staff | From Page: B8 | Gallery

 
.

Features

Field to fork: Play catch-up with summer’s produce

By Dan Kennedy | From Page: A10 | Gallery

 
.

Arts

.

Business

.

Obituaries

Franco M. Navazio, M.D.

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A4

 
.

Comics

Comics: Wednesday, August 27, 2014

By Creator | From Page: B6