Friday, December 19, 2014
YOLO COUNTY NEWS
99 CENTS

Dealing with workplace disruption

AnniesMailbox

By
From page A9 | March 31, 2013 |

Dear Annie: I took a job at a local bookstore after my position as a special ed teacher was downsized. Now I have a “special ed” problem at work.

A woman comes in here once a week with her son, a mentally challenged adult. The son is big and heavy, and his mother is tiny and fragile. Every time they are here, the son has a meltdown. Today, he threw himself on the floor, blocking the checkout area, and wouldn’t get up.

I’m used to dealing with special needs kids in a school, but not adults in a retail establishment. Would it be wrong to tell his mother we cannot accommodate her son in our store the next time they show up? I realize if we bar him, it makes us look mean, but we have a business to run.

A member of our staff suggested to the boss that we make them leave, but I advised against it. If we can’t get him to go voluntarily, we would have to physically escort him to the sidewalk, and he would probably struggle. If he gets hurt in the process, we’d be sued. I also advised against calling the police, because things could get even more physically rough.

I suggested to the boss that we wait for the next time they come to the store and politely refuse entry. Do you have any suggestions on how to deal with these adults when they are on outings?

— New York Problem

Dear New York: We contacted the medical director of the National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI), who said you’re to be commended for your sensitivity in not letting a meltdown escalate into a physical confrontation. What’s important is to focus on behavior. If customers cannot behave appropriately, store owners are within their rights to use discretion in asking them to leave or to not come back in the future.

In this case, the request can be raised gently with the mother the next time she and her son come into the store. To avoid discriminating against a medical condition, the store owner should state that they are welcome to return when they are able to properly manage the son’s behavior. The mother may need to talk to her son’s doctor about his treatment plan in order to address behavior issues.

It is also possible that the mother cannot leave the son at home alone and has no one to help her in caregiving. Although it’s not your role to be a social worker, simple compassion can go a long way in helping the situation, including asking whether they have anyone else in the neighborhood or community to help them.

————

Dear Annie: A family member recently had a going-away party for their son two days before he was to leave for boot camp. Many of us gave him gifts. The kid decided the night before leaving that he had changed his mind and wasn’t going after all. Should he return the gifts and money? Most of us think he should, but no one wants to be the one to tell him.

— California

Dear California: Yes, all gifts and money should be returned as soon as possible. (The same applies to canceled weddings and other gift-giving occasions.) While it is not appropriate to call up the young man and insist that he return the presents, someone who is close to him or his parents can mention that it is expected.

————

Dear Annie: Please tell “George” to appreciate his nosy neighbor. Years ago, I had one of those. She noticed everything and would alert us to any strange activity in the neighborhood.
When I got divorced, her kitchen became a place to unwind. She always had a pot of coffee going. She passed on, but I know she is watching out for her neighbors in heaven.

— Secure in California

Dear Secure: Thank you for a sweet story.

————

Happy Easter to our readers.

————

Annie’s Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column. Email your questions to anniesmailbox@comcast.net, or write to: Annie’s Mailbox, c/o Creators Syndicate, 737 3rd Street, Hermosa Beach, CA 90254. To find out more about Annie’s Mailbox and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate Web page at www.creators.com.

— Creators Syndicate Inc.

Comments

comments

Special to The Enterprise

.

News

There’s a plate for you at the Davis Holiday Meal

By Dave Ryan | From Page: A1 | Gallery

 
UCD, UC team up to study effects of climate change

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A1 | Gallery

 
Teens’ goal? Helping other soccer players around the world

By Anne Ternus-Bellamy | From Page: A1 | Gallery

 
Police seek suspect in hit-and-run collision

By Lauren Keene | From Page: A2

Help sought in search for runaway Davis teen

By Lauren Keene | From Page: A2

 
Feds release ‘framework’ to rate colleges

By The Associated Press | From Page: A2

Gunfire leads to DUI arrest

By Lauren Keene | From Page: A2

 
Creative women share food, friendship

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A3

Konditorei presents free holiday concert

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A3

 
Welcome 2015 with Mumbo Gumbo at a gala bash

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A3

 
Luminaria display planned in West Davis

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A3

Sierra Club calendars on sale Saturday

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A3

 
Blue Christmas service planned at Davis churches

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A4

Willett bench is a labor of love

By Jeff Hudson | From Page: A4

 
Author! Author! UCD hosts talks, Q and A on Asia-focused books

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A4

Libraries will be closed around the holidays

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A5

 
See diving ducks at city wetlands tour

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A5 | Gallery

 
Downtown gift cards get a new perk

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A6

Meditation, Buddhism classes offered

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A7

 
A home for the holidays?

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A8 | Gallery

Nobel Prize winner will discuss research related to autism

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A8

 
Traditional carols service is Saturday at St. Martin’s

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A9

Explorit: Experience nano this spring

By Lisa Justice | From Page: A9 | Gallery

 
Soup’s On will benefit NAMI-Yolo

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A11

Donate to STEAC at Original Steve’s

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A11

 
Supplies collected for victims of abuse

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A11

Grandmothers support group meets weekly

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A11, 1 Comment

 
.

Forum

He needs them to pay up

By Creators Syndicate | From Page: B5

 
Cheers and Jeers: Have you ever seen the rain?

By Our View | From Page: A14

Defeating Ebola involves medicine, and prayers

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A14 | Gallery

 
Kudos to Central Park Gardens donors and volunteers

By Letters to the Editor | From Page: A14

Tom Meyer cartoon

By Debbie Davis | From Page: A14

 
.

Sports

Cousins is back in lineup but Kings fall

By The Associated Press | From Page: B1 | Gallery

 
Devil boys hold off scrappy Rio Linda

By Bruce Gallaudet | From Page: B1 | Gallery

Lady Blue Devils rout an undefeated Liberty squad

By Enterprise staff | From Page: B1

 
UCD RB coach Wright heads to Florida; what next?

By Bruce Gallaudet | From Page: B1

Aggies nab junior college defensive lineman

By Enterprise staff | From Page: B1

 
Nostra-Dunning makes his college bowl picks

By Bob Dunning | From Page: B2

Tennyson’s first goal is the difference in Sharks win

By The Associated Press | From Page: B6 | Gallery

 
.

Features

Name droppers: Trio elected to academy of inventors

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A11

 
.

Arts

 
DMTC announces auditions for ‘Sweeney Todd’

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A15

 
‘Before Midnight’ screening is tonight

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A15

DMTC plans New Year’s Eve party

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A15

 
Tom Rigney and Flambeau to play

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A15

 
.

Business

After 19 years, Alfa Romeo returns

By Ann M. Job | From Page: A16

 
.

Obituaries

Rena Sylvia Smilkstein

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A6

 
.

Comics