Friday, February 27, 2015
YOLO COUNTY NEWS
99 CENTS

Do you kiss your mother with that mouth?

AnniesMailbox

By
From page B5 | August 17, 2014 |

Dear Annie: My mom is in her 70s. She always has had trouble controlling what comes out of her mouth, but it seems to be getting worse.

Mom often insults others by making offensive comments or asking rude questions. When they attempt to respond, she laughs in their face. I have heard Dad rebuke her on occasion for this behavior, but it doesn’t seem to make any difference. She goes on to offend or tease the next person.

Mom monopolizes every conversation. She answers every question, even those not directed at her. She chatters nonstop and will not allow for any silence in a conversation. Simply being around her is exhausting.

I worry that Mom is severely limiting her options in terms of who would be willing to care for her in the future. She is so abrasive that no one wants to be around her. She doesn’t seem to realize that the more words she carelessly speaks the greater the likelihood that something regrettable will come out. Is there anything I can do or say to her that might make a difference?

— Can’t Think Before Speaking

Dear Can’t: Has your mother had a complete checkup lately? Sometimes these problems are the result of small strokes or other physical or neurological problems. On occasion, troublesome behavior that has been annoying but tolerable becomes less filtered and less controllable over time, especially if there is underlying depression or anxiety. Suggest your mother see her doctor, and offer to go with her so you can discuss this directly. You also can leave a message at the doctor’s office with your concerns.

————

Dear Annie: This is for the many caring children who are forced by circumstances to place their elderly parents in a nursing home to be cared for by others. When visiting, these children are so heartbroken to hear the parent say over and over, “I want to go home.” Please tell them this “home” is most likely the safe, warm feeling of their childhood, or the place where they were in control of their lives.

My husband and I were fortunate enough to be able to care for his mother in a nice apartment annexed to our main living area. It had sliding doors to the deck and overlooked a quiet tranquil yard. We took our meals with her, and she had plenty of interaction with our family and as much personal care as possible. Yet, the more senility crept in the more she wanted to “go home.”

That feeling of “home” was the one thing we were not able to give her, no matter how hard we tried.

— No Regrets in Watertown, Conn.

Dear No Regrets: We suspect the need to “go home” reflects the fact that the place in which they are living, whether a care facility, a child’s home or any other residence, is foreign and frightening in its unfamiliarity. As dementia proceeds, what is considered familiar can go back a long way, and certainly those places include the warm feeling of childhood or a place where they were in control. What you cannot reproduce is the recognition of where they are and why.

It sounds as though you did everything possible for your mother-in-law. We’re glad you have no regrets. No one should feel guilty for doing the best they can.

————

Dear Annie: I read the letter from “Concerned Friend” with interest. I started biting my nails in the first grade and never could stop despite wanting to. Fifty years later, I was given medication for depression that also contained an anti-anxiety medication. To my amazement, the nail biting stopped, and I’ve had beautiful nails ever since.

— Prescott, Ariz.

————

Annie’s Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column. Please email your questions to [email protected], or write to: Annie’s Mailbox, c/o Creators Syndicate, 737 3rd Street, Hermosa Beach, CA 90254. To find out more about Annie’s Mailbox and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate Web page at www.creators.com.

— Creators Syndicate Inc.

Comments

comments

Creators Syndicate

.

News

New greenhouse will add to ‘Farm to Mouth’ program

By Anne Ternus-Bellamy | From Page: A1 | Gallery

 
Learn about pollinators, gardens and honey at Yolo Basin fundraiser

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A1 | Gallery

 
Woodland infant’s death remains a mystery

By Lauren Keene | From Page: A1

 
Can you give them a home?

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A2 | Gallery

For the record

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A2

 
Fire damages South Davis home

By Lauren Keene | From Page: A2 | Gallery

Gerber nominations close Saturday

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A3

 
Explorit: Humming right along

By Lisa Justice | From Page: A3

Flower arrangers feature S.F. designer

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A3

 
Celebrate Africa on Saturday at I-House

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A3

Chamber explores how to pay for Davis’ needs

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A4

 
Wolk and Dodd team up to provide Napa earthquake tax relief

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A4

Robb Davis to speak about homelessness, energy

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A4

 
Spring sing-along is March 4

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A4

A fill-up mishap

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A5

 
Two free yoga classes offered March 12

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A5

Take a night walk at Cache Creek

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A5

 
Class of 1970 plans 45-year reunion

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A5

Bicycle safety course to be offered in Davis

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A5

 
Documentary on immigration issues will be screened

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A5

 
Learn about your brain on March 14

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A5

Adopt a household for Bridge to Housing participants

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A7

 
Workshop will teach sustainable gardening methods

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A8

 
.

Forum

Tired of all of this

By Creators Syndicate | From Page: B5

 
Start early to build healthy dental habits

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: B6

 
Tom Meyer cartoon

By Debbie Davis | From Page: B6

No extra cost for containers

By Letters to the Editor | From Page: B6

 
Oral Health Project launches

By Letters to the Editor | From Page: B6

Here an H, there an H

By Letters to the Editor | From Page: B6

 
Cavalier attitude about bike safety

By Letters to the Editor | From Page: B6

.

Sports

Blue Devil boys expect a spike in production

By Thomas Oide | From Page: B1 | Gallery

 
Inquiring minds want to know about Aggies

By Bruce Gallaudet | From Page: B1

Encouraging start for DHS boys tennis team

By Enterprise staff | From Page: B1 | Gallery

 
Off day for Aggie men at UCSB

By Kim Orendor | From Page: B1 | Gallery

Aggie women fall to 4th after lackluster showing

By Bruce Gallaudet | From Page: B1 | Gallery

 
Lady Devils are on to the SJS semis

By Spencer Ault | From Page: B1 | Gallery

 
Late goal lifts Red Wings over Sharks

By The Associated Press | From Page: B4 | Gallery

Watney struggling at windy Honda Classic

By Enterprise staff | From Page: B12

 
.

Features

.

Arts

Monticello announces March schedule

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A10

 
The Artery presents ‘Stepping Into Nature’

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A10 | Gallery

YoloArts’ Gallery 625 presents ‘The Poetry of Dots’

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A10 | Gallery

 
International Film Series to present ‘Jaffa’

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A10

‘Focus': A sharply conceived caper

By Derrick Bang | From Page: A11 | Gallery

 
The Woodland Opera House announces 2015-16 season

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A12 | Gallery

.

Business

Nissan’s Z remains an affordable performer

By Ann M. Job | From Page: B3

 
Car Care: Simple DIY steps to protect your car through all seasons

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A7

 
.

Obituaries

George Miller Jr.

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A4

 
Death notice: Celia E. Recchio

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A4

Vernon E. Burton

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A4

 
Dieter W. Gruenwedel

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A4

.

Comics

Comics: Friday, February 27, 2015

By Creator | From Page: B5