Friday, August 22, 2014
YOLO COUNTY NEWS
99 CENTS

Doesn’t want to jingle all the way

AnniesMailbox

By
From page A12 | April 27, 2014 |

Dear Annie: My boyfriend and I have been together for three years, although we’ve been apart a great deal of that time due to college and work. Now that we are able to relocate together, my boyfriend expects me to participate more with his family, especially over the Christmas holidays.

All of his family members are practicing Christians. I am a pagan. I don’t mind spending time with them, but I do not pray before I eat, I don’t attend any type of church, nor do I celebrate these holidays in any way, including buying or receiving presents. All of this celebration makes me uncomfortable, so I stay away.

My boyfriend insists that I’m being selfish and should “deal with it.” But he disregards all of the celebrations that come with my spirituality. I have offered to go to his family’s celebrations as long as I don’t need to go to church or exchange gifts. But he still gives me a hard time about it.

I’m perfectly happy staying home while he enjoys these special holiday times, but he says I’m being difficult, and the argument loops around again. How do I get him to accept that not everyone sees life the way his family does?

— Different Gods

Dear Different: Your compromise — to spend holidays with his family as long as you don’t need to attend church or exchange gifts — is reasonable. However, your boyfriend wants you to conform to his family’s idea of celebration, either because he doesn’t respect your beliefs or, more likely, because he wants to avoid his family’s disapproval.

Please don’t assume these religious differences are only relevant at Christmas. If you decide to have children together, this problem will get ugly quickly. In any relationship, religious differences can be a major stumbling block; not to mention, your boyfriend does not defend you to his parents. If these conflicts aren’t resolved in a mutually agreeable way, the relationship is likely to flounder.

————

Dear Annie: My husband and his first wife were married for 20 years. They had no children, and she cheated on him multiple times. She was not particularly engaged with his family while they were married, but since he married me, she has worked hard to ingratiate herself — attending weddings and other family events.

They have been divorced for 16 years, and we have been married for 12. Yet she continues to use his last name rather than revert back to her family name. What is your opinion of this practice?

— I’m His Only Mrs.

Dear Only: Our opinion is that you should ignore it. This has been her name for 36 years, and changing it is not only a major inconvenience, but it’s also how she is known by those around her. Whatever name she uses does not threaten your position or status. Really. And if your husband’s family chooses to invite a woman they have known for 36 years to major family events, please do your best to tolerate her presence. The more gracious you are the classier you appear.

————

Dear Annie: I read the letter from “Confused in Florida,” who became a full-time caregiver for his mother after she had a stroke. His brothers are suspicious that he is taking advantage of her financially.

My mother is in a similar situation. I live across the country and am kept informed by weekly updates from my siblings. I recently spent three weeks with Mom. My gratitude for my siblings has multiplied, as I now have a much better idea of how much my mother needs and how unrelenting her requests are. Kudos to “Confused,” who has chosen to offer loving live-in support for his mother. While there are many blessings that come from spending time with Mom, it is an exhausting 24/7 responsibility.

— Child of a Mother in Need

————

Annie’s Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column. Email your questions to anniesmailbox@comcast.net, or write to: Annie’s Mailbox, c/o Creators Syndicate, 737 3rd Street, Hermosa Beach, CA 90254. To find out more about Annie’s Mailbox and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate Web page at www.creators.com.

— Creators Syndicate Inc.

Comments

comments

Creators Syndicate

.

News

No easy task: History buffs still trying to save building

By Dave Ryan | From Page: A1 | Gallery

 
DHS musicians back from summer in Italy

By Jeff Hudson | From Page: A1 | Gallery

 
City to overhaul its sprinkler heads, other water-wasters

By Dave Ryan | From Page: A1 | Gallery

Davis indecent-exposure suspect pleads no contest

By Lauren Keene | From Page: A2

 
Not-guilty plea entered in Woodland homicide case

By Lauren Keene | From Page: A2

 
Russian aid convoy reaches war-torn Luhansk

By The Associated Press | From Page: A2

 
Parents’ Night Out features Vacation Bible School

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A3

Afternoon tours of city wetlands resume Sept. 6

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A3 | Gallery

 
Yolo County golf tournament enters fourth year

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A3

 
Putah Creek Council appoints new executive director

By Elizabeth Case | From Page: A3

Communitywide ice bucket challenge on Sunday

By Anne Ternus-Bellamy | From Page: A3

 
Prunes take center stage at last agri-tour of the summer

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A4

 
In need of food? Apply for CalFresh

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A4

Can you give them a home?

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A4 | Gallery

 
Saylor will meet constituents at Peet’s

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A4

Event will unveil mural celebrating food justice

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A4

 
Writing couple stops at Davis bookstore

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A5 | Gallery

Explorit: Final Blast show returns for second year

By Lisa Justice | From Page: A5

 
Wolk bill would require reporting of water system leaks

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A5

Record drought saps California honey production

By The Associated Press | From Page: A6

 
World travelers

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A8

 
Seniors set to stroll through Arboretum

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A9

.

Forum

Weightlifters causing a racket

By Creators Syndicate | From Page: B5

 
No support for militarization

By Letters to the Editor | From Page: A10

A better use for this vehicle

By Letters to the Editor | From Page: A10

 
Police are our friends, right?

By Letters to the Editor | From Page: A10

Wage plan has a big flaw

By Letters to the Editor | From Page: A10

 
Bridging the digital divide with computational thinking

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A10

 
Tom Meyer cartoon

By Debbie Davis | From Page: A10

.

Sports

Watney and McIlroy struggle at start of The Barclays

By Wire and staff reports | From Page: B1

 
Light-hitting Cats fall

By Enterprise staff | From Page: B1

Giants win nightcap in Chicago

By The Associated Press | From Page: B1 | Gallery

 
Watts likes what he’s seen in keen Aggie DB competition

By Bruce Gallaudet | From Page: B1 | Gallery

 
Sports briefs: Big West soccer coaches have high hopes for UCD men

By Enterprise staff | From Page: B8 | Gallery

.

Features

.

Arts

 
Davis Chinese Film Festival to kick off with 1994 favorite

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A11

Rock Band campers perform at E Street Plaza

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A11

 
Natsoulas to host mural conference

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A11

Yolo Mambo to play free show

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A11

 
‘If I Stay’: Existential angst

By Derrick Bang | From Page: A11

.

Business

Car Care: Teenagers not driving safe cars, study shows

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A6

 
Car Care: Feeling the summer heat? Your car battery is too

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A7

Three-wheeled Elio gets closer to going on sale

By The Associated Press | From Page: A12 | Gallery

 
.

Obituaries

.

Comics

Comics: Friday, August 22, 2014

By Creator | From Page: B6