Friday, April 24, 2015
YOLO COUNTY NEWS
99 CENTS

Done talking to her

AnniesMailbox

By
From page B5 | January 10, 2014 |

Dear Annie: My relationship with my mother has always been challenging. When she could no longer grab me by the hair and shake my head, she adopted inappropriate behavior with my boyfriends, called me stupid, worshipped my brothers and sister-in-law over me, and much more.

The final straw came in a telephone conversation. My mother said she was tired from being out the other day with a friend. She asked, “Do all old people get tired when they go out?” I didn’t want to compare her with my father, who works hard and had visited me earlier that week. I replied, “All old people age differently.” My mother then commenced some heavy and deliberate sighing that lasted the remainder of the call while I tried to make conversation. I politely said goodbye.

When it was time for me to make my annual call to her, I picked up the phone and started to dial but hung up before reaching the last number. I have not called my mother since. That was three years ago. My mother is now 83. I do not believe I am holding a grudge, although that has been suggested to me. I am just so hurt and ashamed that my own mother would reject me the way she has. When is it OK to say enough?

— Don’t Miss Her

Dear Don’t: The final straw was a phone call where Mom mostly sighed? And after three years, you are still angry. We recognize that Mom mistreated you when you were younger, but you spoke to her only once a year. It’s not a grudge so much as an inability to deal with Mom’s behavior, and it remains unresolved, which mostly hurts you. Ask yourself how you would feel if Mom died without any further contact. If that bothers you even slightly, please talk to a professional and find a way to work through this, whatever the outcome.

————

Dear Annie: My wife and I have been married for 15 years. It seems that if I don’t initiate sex, we never have any. I have told her what I would like, but she shows no interest. She just lies there and neither moves nor makes a sound. I don’t know whether I am giving her any pleasure.

I have discussed my concerns with her and have asked what she would like in the bedroom, but she always says, “Everything is fine. I like what we do.”

I am frustrated. I really love my wife and don’t want to end the relationship, but I have been having thoughts about finding another lover who will fulfill my needs in the bedroom. Please help.

— Not Sure What To Do

Dear Not Sure: Your wife may feel inhibited about sex, which is why she is silent in the bedroom and won’t discuss her preferences. It’s also possible that she doesn’t enjoy sex, for physical or emotional reasons, and has no interest in working at it. Instead of talking about likes and dislikes, tell her that her stoic reaction to sex saddens you and that it is threatening the stability of your marriage. Ask her to go with you to see a marriage counselor or a professional sex therapist.

————

Dear Annie: I read the letter from “Working Hard,” who futilely complained to her boss and human resources about a fellow employee who isn’t doing his share of the work.

Everywhere I have ever worked, there are people who do more than asked and people who do so little it’s maddening. I have come to the realization that complaining about lazy co-workers is a waste of time. Management would rather put up with a poor employee than admit they made a mistake in hiring or promoting that person in the first place.

— W.C.

————

Annie’s Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column. Please email your questions to [email protected], or write to: Annie’s Mailbox, c/o Creators Syndicate, 737 3rd Street, Hermosa Beach, CA 90254. To find out more about Annie’s Mailbox and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate Web page at www.creators.com.

— Creators Syndicate Inc.

Comments

comments

Special to The Enterprise

.

News

Water and power have a troubling interdependency

By New York Times News Service | From Page: A1 | Gallery

 
New design submitted for conference center

By Dave Ryan | From Page: A1 | Gallery

 
Bob Dunning: Fairness is an afterthought for them

By Bob Dunning | From Page: A2

Los Angeles march to commemorate Armenian killings

By The Associated Press | From Page: A2

 
Hostage deaths a reminder of risk of ‘deadly mistakes’

By The Associated Press | From Page: A2

Beginning tai chi classes start May 5

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A4

 
College Night set April 30 at DHS

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A4

Walkers head out three times weekly

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A4Comments are off for this post

 
Got bikes? Donate ‘em!

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A4

 
Need a new best friend?

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A4 | Gallery

Tour of co-ops precedes Sacramento conference

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A5

 
School board hears report on health services

By Jeff Hudson | From Page: A5

Mamajowali will perform at benefit house concert

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A6 | Gallery

 
Explorit: Celebrate International Astronomy Day

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A6

Learn basics of composting in Woodland

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A6

 
BeerFest expands to include cider

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A8

Winkler Dinner raises funds for enology, viticulture activities

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A8 | Gallery

 
Raptor Center welcomes visitors at May 2 open house

By Trina Wood | From Page: A8 | Gallery

Take a peek at region’s past at Tremont Mite Society’s social

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A8 | Gallery

 
Mapping where human action is causing earthquakes

By New York Times News Service | From Page: A9

Hummingbird health: Appreciating the little things

By Kat Kerlin | From Page: A12 | Gallery

 
.

Forum

Tom Meyer cartoon

By Debbie Davis | From Page: B4

 
The fight for gender pay equity

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: B4

 
Thanks for supporting the arts

By Letters to the Editor | From Page: B4

Bike Swap another success

By Letters to the Editor | From Page: B4

 
Drink is a tasteless insult

By Letters to the Editor | From Page: B4

It’s a depressing beat

By Creators Syndicate | From Page: B5

 
.

Sports

Aggie Spring Game environment will up the gridiron fun factor

By Bruce Gallaudet | From Page: B1 | Gallery

 
Rare DHS track loss still full of highlights

By Enterprise staff | From Page: B1

Lehner talks about the UCD student-athlete experience

By Bruce Gallaudet | From Page: B1

 
Reeling Blue Devils stop skid against Sheldon

By Evan Ream | From Page: B1 | Gallery

 
Lady Demons’ fundraiser a smash hit

By Enterprise staff | From Page: B3 | Gallery

DYSA roundup: Lester, Osborne lead Storm over Dixon

By Enterprise staff | From Page: B3 | Gallery

 
Pro baseball roundup: River Cats lose their fourth straight

By Staff and wire reports | From Page: B12

.

Features

.

Arts

 
‘Ex Machina': The perils of playing God

By Derrick Bang | From Page: A10 | Gallery

Ceramicist works will be featured at The Artery

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A11 | Gallery

 
.

Business

Chamber expands Korean sister-city opportunities

By Felicia Alvarez | From Page: A5 | Gallery

 
Car Care: Tips for buying your first ATV

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: B6

Subaru goes rear-wheel drive with sporty BRZ coupe

By Ann M. Job | From Page: B7 | Gallery

 
.

Obituaries

.

Comics

Comics: Friday, April 24, 2015

By Creator | From Page: B5