Thursday, April 17, 2014
YOLO COUNTY NEWS
99 CENTS

Dude, she’s harshing his buzz

AnniesMailbox

Dear Annie: My sweet, kind 33-year-old college-educated husband has regressed into a teenager. He has always been a marijuana user, but a year ago, he befriended “Jake,” and now the two of them smoke marijuana daily. They spend their evenings riding skateboards, playing video games and hanging out with college kids.

I would like to buy a house, have children and further my education. My husband says he wants the same things, but he always has an excuse for not saving money. We both have good jobs, and he promises to start putting money aside “next month.” It never happens. I know he won’t give up pot. He says he will get divorced before he quits smoking marijuana, and I knew that before we married.

Am I wrong to put my foot down and expect him to grow up? Or do I need to lighten up and let him have his fun?

— Feeling Like My Husband’s Mother

Dear Feeling: You and your husband do not have compatible goals. He wants to be an irresponsible child while you do all the work. And so far, you have gone along with that. Maybe he’s afraid to grow up, maybe he’s too addicted to pot, maybe he’s simply a Peter Pan.

Ask him to come with you for counseling so the two of you can work on a more equitable partnership. If he is unwilling or if nothing changes, there is no future here unless you want to spend the next several years mothering this grownup child. It’s a painful lesson to learn that love isn’t always enough to turn someone into marriage material.

————

Dear Annie: My friend’s son married a lovely young woman whose only brother died a few years ago. The wife kept her maiden name after marriage for professional reasons.

The couple is expecting their first child, and the wife would like to name the boy after her deceased brother, giving him her last name. Her reasoning is that it would ensure that her family name is carried on. Her husband has male cousins who can carry on the family name, but she doesn’t.

My friend is in shock. If her son agrees to this irrational request, she believes her family name stops there. In her mind, cousins do not count in carrying on one’s lineage. However, she doesn’t want to cause a family rift by openly and strongly opposing this possibility. Do you have any suggestions for her?

— Friend of the Family

Dear Friend: This is completely up to the couple, and your friend should try to stay out of it. Frankly, the wife has the stronger claim for carrying on a family name. It’s also possible that the couple will have other sons. And plenty of women object to the old-fashioned (and sexist) notion that only the boys count when it comes to lineage. We know your friend is hurt and disappointed, but if she wants a relationship with her son, his wife and their child, she needs to put this aside.

————

Dear Annie: I shared the same frustration as “Troubled in High School,” the 16-year-old girl who can only think about boys, drugs, alcohol, dating and grades. She wants her life to be exciting.

I’d like to suggest she try participating in her school’s community service club. I was a member of my school’s “Key Club,” which is sponsored by the Kiwanis organization. It gave me the opportunity to focus on things outside of myself and my desires as a teenager and allowed me to put my energy into doing good.

My friends who did drugs respected me enough to never offer me drugs. I hated that my parents were so strict, but now that I’m almost 30, I can appreciate that they molded me into an independent person who is confident in leading instead of following. There is nothing wrong with being a perfect little angel. I’m proud of that reputation.

— Happy in Hawaii

————

Annie’s Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column. Email your questions to anniesmailbox@comcast.net, or write to: Annie’s Mailbox, c/o Creators Syndicate, 737 3rd Street, Hermosa Beach, CA 90254. To find out more about Annie’s Mailbox and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate Web page at www.creators.com.

— Creators Syndicate Inc.

Special to The Enterprise

LEAVE A COMMENT

Discussion | No comments

The Davis Enterprise does not necessarily condone the comments here, nor does it review every post. Read our full policy

  • Recent Posts

  • Enter your email address to subscribe to this newspaper and receive notifications of new articles by email.

  • .

    News

    Davis wins USA Today Best Cycling Town honor

    By Dave Ryan | From Page: A1

     
    Benefit set to help local bike legend

    By Adrian Glass-Moore | From Page: A1 | Gallery

     
    Jury deliberates murder, elder-abuse charges

    By Lauren Keene | From Page: A1

     
    State’s health care sign-ups beat projections

    By The Associated Press | From Page: A2, 1 Comment

    For the record

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A2

     
    California residents divided on drought solution

    By San Francisco Chronicle | From Page: A2

     
    For the record

    By Dave Ryan | From Page: A2

    Three killed in attack on Ukrainian base

    By The Associated Press | From Page: A2 | Gallery

     
    Downtown post office set to reopen

    By Thomas Oide | From Page: B3

    Run or walk to prevent child abuse in Yolo County

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: B3 | Gallery

     
    Nominations sought for charity paint giveaway

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: B3

     
    Scholar will discuss human trafficking in Friday talk

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A3

    Per Capita Davis: Now, for some good news

    By John Mott-Smith | From Page: A4

     
    Birch Lane hosts 50th anniversary party

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A4

    Hannah Stein reads poetry at gallery

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A4

     
    Davis Food Co-op to offer free bags on Earth Day

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A4

    Get in the picture with school board candidate

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A4

     
    KDVS hosts on-air fundraiser April 21-27

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A4

    Tickets on sale for Pence Garden Tour

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A4

     
    Fundraiser planned for Allen’s campaign

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A4, 2 Comments

    Food Co-op board plans open house

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A4

     
    Davis Downtown hosts candidate forum

    By Dave Ryan | From Page: A4

    Learn more about Google Glass at talk

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A4

     
    Barbecue celebrates winter shelter program

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A5

    Sign of things to come

    By Fred Gladdis | From Page: A8

     
    Davis Soroptimists celebrate 60 years

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A8

    .

    Forum

    Fancy meeting you here …

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: B5

     
    Don’t miss a Trokanski dance

    By Letters to the Editor | From Page: A6

    Frank Bruni: The oldest hatred, forever young

    By New York Times News Service | From Page: A6, 4 Comments

     
    Expert: Free parking is a myth

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A6, 1 Comment

    Have they really learned?

    By Letters to the Editor | From Page: A6

     
    A great community effort

    By Letters to the Editor | From Page: A6, 2 Comments

    Public Health Heroes honored

    By Letters to the Editor | From Page: A6

     
    Tom Meyer cartoon

    By Debbie Davis | From Page: A6

    .

    Sports

    Huge inning propels Pleasant Grove past DHS

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: B1

     
    Giants edge Dodgers

    By The Associated Press | From Page: B1 | Gallery

    Foster steps down as Lady Blue Devil basketball coach

    By Bruce Gallaudet | From Page: B1 | Gallery

     
    River Cats’ streak reaches six wins

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: B1

    Landry evolves into UCD women’s lacrosse leader

    By Bruce Gallaudet | From Page: B1 | Gallery

     
    Youth roundup: Martinez, Chan come up big at gymnastics regional

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: B2 | Gallery

    Kings drop season finale to Suns

    By The Associated Press | From Page: B2

     
    Angels get past A’s in extras

    By The Associated Press | From Page: B8 | Gallery

    .

    Features

    .

    Arts

    Wineaux: Good deals off the beaten path

    By Susan Leonardi | From Page: A7

     
    Rockabilly phenom to play at The Palms

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A7

    HellaCappella showcases a cappella singing

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A7

     
    ‘One’ singular sensation to open at DMTC

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A7

    25th annual state clay competition exhibit at The Artery

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A7

     
    .

    Business

    .

    Obituaries

    Tapan Munroe

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A4

     
    .

    Comics

    Comics: Thursday, April 17, 2014

    By Creator | From Page: B6