Sunday, July 27, 2014
YOLO COUNTY NEWS
99 CENTS

Dueling dinners left no winners

AnniesMailbox

By
From page B5 | January 17, 2014 |

Dear Annie: My husband’s family came to town for a week over the holidays. We made plans to be with them every evening except one. My parents were in the final stages of a job relocation and were leaving town that same weekend. We gave my family the one evening, Sunday, that was not delegated to my in-laws. My husband’s parents asked us twice to go out to dinner with them and their friends on that same evening. We politely declined both times, explaining that we had plans. That Sunday morning, we found out that my in-laws had made dinner reservations for us anyway. Somehow, to my husband, this meant we had to reconsider our options. I thought it was extremely rude.

After several hours of arguing, my husband and I compromised by saying we would go to dinner with his parents, eat quickly and then spend the rest of the evening with my parents. Well, dinner was a disaster. One couple was an hour late, and my in-laws insisted on waiting for them. Then, my husband and I, along with his brother, were put at the “children’s” table with three kids under the age of 13. After we finally managed to leave, we ran to my parents’ house only to find everyone else had gone.

My husband considers this a successful outcome, but I do not. My family was deeply offended by my in-laws’ usurping our only evening together. Am I crazy to think he should have honored the original plans?

— Still Angry

Dear Still: Your husband is wrong to think your plans should be changed because someone else rearranged them without your knowledge or permission. He obviously wanted to spend time with his family and not yours, which was unfair under the circumstances. When you agreed to attend his family’s dinner, you also should have set a time to leave and done so, regardless of where you were in the meal.

A better compromise would have been for him to have dinner with his folks while you spent the time with yours. While not ideal, it would have been better than anger, resentment and an argument. Now let it go. You’ll do better next time.

————

Dear Annie: My grandma died six months ago, and I miss her more than anything. Life just isn’t the same without her.

I’m only 13 years old, and this confuses me. I’m mad at God for taking my grandma from me. My friends say I haven’t been the same, that I’m gloomy and moody and have a short temper.

My sister shows hardly any emotion, but I can’t think about my grandma without crying. I feel like I’m taking too long in my grieving process. Am I? Do you have any suggestions?

— Crying Granddaughter

Dear Crying: We are so sorry to hear about your grandma. Obviously, you were close to her and miss her terribly. There is no set timetable for grieving, and some people take longer than others. However, if you haven’t managed to move beyond your initial depressed state for six months, please ask your parents to make an appointment for you to see your doctor and a grief counselor, and perhaps discuss this with your clergyperson to understand how God could take your grandma from you. Talking to others who are trained to discuss your grief can help enormously.

————

Dear Annie: The 42-year-old lady who said she doesn’t have many friends and never could read body language well has classic symptoms of Asperger syndrome (recently renamed high-functioning autism).

My son wasn’t diagnosed until he was 17, and it has made a world of difference. He was always a bit quirky — a round peg in a square hole. Most people with Asperger’s are highly intelligent and dependable and find it difficult to lie because they see the world very literally.

— HFA Mom

————

Annie’s Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column. Email your questions to anniesmailbox@comcast.net, or write to: Annie’s Mailbox, c/o Creators Syndicate, 737 3rd Street, Hermosa Beach, CA 90254. To find out more about Annie’s Mailbox and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate Web page at www.creators.com.

— Creators Syndicate Inc.

Comments

comments

Special to The Enterprise

  • Recent Posts

  • Enter your email address to subscribe to this newspaper and receive notifications of new articles by email.

  • .

    News

    Zombies by rail: It’s not just a show, it’s a trip

    By Evan Arnold-Gordon | From Page: A1 | Gallery

     
    Community gardens stretch food dollars, study finds

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A1 | Gallery

    Humphrey Fellows will host Global Forum

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A1 | Gallery

     
    Fatal Covell Boulevard crash recalled in court

    By Lauren Keene | From Page: A1

    Ukraine launches offensive to retake Donetsk

    By The Associated Press | From Page: A2

     
    Rairdan joins race for Davis school board

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A2

    State can’t say if it’s meeting drought goal

    By The Associated Press | From Page: A2

     
    Wildfire spurs evacuation of 700 homes

    By The Associated Press | From Page: A2

     
    Israel extends Gaza truce through Sunday

    By The Associated Press | From Page: A2

    New ordinance aims to prevent nut thefts from orchards

    By Anne Ternus-Bellamy | From Page: A4

     
    Biggest book sale to date opens Friday at Davis library

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A4

    Luna family matriarch turns 100

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A4 | Gallery

     
    Freeway crash injures two drivers

    By Lauren Keene | From Page: A5

     
    Museum wants your old Davis High School yearbooks

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A5

     
    Mace Innovation Center is focus of meeting

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A5

    Affordable housing forum planned in Davis

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A5

     
     
    Discussion of oil by rail EIR planned Sunday

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A5

    State awards $40,000 for historic property survey

    By Lily Holmes | From Page: A8

     
    Protesters gather at Primate Center

    By Tanya Perez | From Page: A8

    Vanguard hosts economic development director

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A9

     
    Get a sneak peek at documentary trailer

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A9

    Free blood pressure screenings offered

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A9

     
    Davis Chamber Choir sings short summer program

    By Jeff Hudson | From Page: A9

    Tasting event benefits Yolo Land Trust

    By Lily Holmes | From Page: A9

     
    At the Pond: From Davis, it’s easy to get back to nature

    By Jean Jackman | From Page: A10 | Gallery

    Tickets on sale now for DHS Hall of Fame dinner

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A11

     
    .

    Forum

    Feels like a million miles away

    By Creators Syndicate | From Page: A7

     
    Check doctors’ vitals before they check yours

    By The Associated Press | From Page: A7

    Here’s what you need for a perfect wedding

    By Marion Franck | From Page: A7

     
    Husband’s let himself go

    By Creators Syndicate | From Page: A14

     
    Pat Oliphant cartoon

    By Debbie Davis | From Page: A16

    So, what’s in a week’s worth of waste?

    By Michelle Millet | From Page: A16

     
    Questions on water rights

    By Letters to the Editor | From Page: A16, 1 Comment

    Golf tourney was a big success

    By Letters to the Editor | From Page: A16

     
    Campus turns on the tap

    By Our View | From Page: A16

    New playground is wonderful

    By Letters to the Editor | From Page: A17

     
    Just Us in Davis: Little Rock Nine hero to celebrate with Davis youths

    By Jann L. Murray-Garcia | From Page: A17 | Gallery

    We can do more to help

    By Letters to the Editor | From Page: A17

     
    .

    Sports

    New Korematsu teacher is an American Ninja Warrior

    By Bruce Gallaudet | From Page: B1 | Gallery

     
    Sutherland presents 1st clinic; golf column on its way

    By Bruce Gallaudet | From Page: B1 | Gallery

    Gray wins 6th straight, A’s 4 HRs beat Texas 5-1

    By The Associated Press | From Page: B1

     
    Kershaw throws 2-hitter as Dodgers beat Giants 5-0

    By The Associated Press | From Page: B1

    Furyk opens 3-shot lead in Canadian Open

    By The Associated Press | From Page: B1

     
    Nibali set to cruise to Tour victory

    By The Associated Press | From Page: B2

    Area sports briefs: River Cats take Game 1 of doubleheader

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: B4

     
    .

    Features

    .

    Arts

    .

    Business

    Companies will collaborate on crop insect control

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A13

     
    Developer’s commitments: affordable and green

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A13 | Gallery

    UC Davis Health System earns ‘Most Wired’ award

    By Charles Casey | From Page: A15

     
    Bartholomew hires new associate

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A15

    Yolo County real estate sales

    By Zoe Juanitas | From Page: A15

     
    Go back to school with Great Clips

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A15

    Lagerstrom represents Davis at Mary Kay seminar

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A15

     
    .

    Obituaries

    Jonathan Eric Hollander

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A4

     
    Carlton Hope Meister

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A4

    .

    Comics

    Comics: Sunday, July 27, 2014

    By Creator | From Page: A6