Wednesday, December 24, 2014
YOLO COUNTY NEWS
99 CENTS

Dueling dinners left no winners

AnniesMailbox

By
From page B5 | January 17, 2014 |

Dear Annie: My husband’s family came to town for a week over the holidays. We made plans to be with them every evening except one. My parents were in the final stages of a job relocation and were leaving town that same weekend. We gave my family the one evening, Sunday, that was not delegated to my in-laws. My husband’s parents asked us twice to go out to dinner with them and their friends on that same evening. We politely declined both times, explaining that we had plans. That Sunday morning, we found out that my in-laws had made dinner reservations for us anyway. Somehow, to my husband, this meant we had to reconsider our options. I thought it was extremely rude.

After several hours of arguing, my husband and I compromised by saying we would go to dinner with his parents, eat quickly and then spend the rest of the evening with my parents. Well, dinner was a disaster. One couple was an hour late, and my in-laws insisted on waiting for them. Then, my husband and I, along with his brother, were put at the “children’s” table with three kids under the age of 13. After we finally managed to leave, we ran to my parents’ house only to find everyone else had gone.

My husband considers this a successful outcome, but I do not. My family was deeply offended by my in-laws’ usurping our only evening together. Am I crazy to think he should have honored the original plans?

— Still Angry

Dear Still: Your husband is wrong to think your plans should be changed because someone else rearranged them without your knowledge or permission. He obviously wanted to spend time with his family and not yours, which was unfair under the circumstances. When you agreed to attend his family’s dinner, you also should have set a time to leave and done so, regardless of where you were in the meal.

A better compromise would have been for him to have dinner with his folks while you spent the time with yours. While not ideal, it would have been better than anger, resentment and an argument. Now let it go. You’ll do better next time.

————

Dear Annie: My grandma died six months ago, and I miss her more than anything. Life just isn’t the same without her.

I’m only 13 years old, and this confuses me. I’m mad at God for taking my grandma from me. My friends say I haven’t been the same, that I’m gloomy and moody and have a short temper.

My sister shows hardly any emotion, but I can’t think about my grandma without crying. I feel like I’m taking too long in my grieving process. Am I? Do you have any suggestions?

— Crying Granddaughter

Dear Crying: We are so sorry to hear about your grandma. Obviously, you were close to her and miss her terribly. There is no set timetable for grieving, and some people take longer than others. However, if you haven’t managed to move beyond your initial depressed state for six months, please ask your parents to make an appointment for you to see your doctor and a grief counselor, and perhaps discuss this with your clergyperson to understand how God could take your grandma from you. Talking to others who are trained to discuss your grief can help enormously.

————

Dear Annie: The 42-year-old lady who said she doesn’t have many friends and never could read body language well has classic symptoms of Asperger syndrome (recently renamed high-functioning autism).

My son wasn’t diagnosed until he was 17, and it has made a world of difference. He was always a bit quirky — a round peg in a square hole. Most people with Asperger’s are highly intelligent and dependable and find it difficult to lie because they see the world very literally.

— HFA Mom

————

Annie’s Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column. Email your questions to anniesmailbox@comcast.net, or write to: Annie’s Mailbox, c/o Creators Syndicate, 737 3rd Street, Hermosa Beach, CA 90254. To find out more about Annie’s Mailbox and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate Web page at www.creators.com.

— Creators Syndicate Inc.

Comments

comments

Special to The Enterprise

  • Recent Posts

  • Enter your email address to subscribe to this newspaper and receive notifications of new articles by email.

  • .

    News

    Make that box bark: Studies show pets are good gifts

    By Dave Ryan | From Page: A1 | Gallery

     
    Want some company? Enjoy food, fellowship at Holiday Meal

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A1

    Hit-and-run victim hopes for driver’s arrest

    By Lauren Keene | From Page: A1 | Gallery

     
    No reindeer games for this student researcher

    By Jeff Hudson | From Page: A1 | Gallery

    Faithful flock to Bethlehem for Christmas

    By The Associated Press | From Page: A2 | Gallery

     
    Travel looks rough into Christmas Day

    By The Associated Press | From Page: A2

     
    Applications for jobless aid fall to 7-week low

    By The Associated Press | From Page: A2

    Supplies collected for victims of abuse

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A3

     
    Luminaria display planned in West Davis

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A3

    Gary Lee Yoder featured on ‘Davisville’

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A3

     
    Seniors set to stroll through Arboretum

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A3

     
    Pedal around Davis on weekly bike ride

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A3

    Nobel Prize winner will discuss research related to autism

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A4

     
    Why not give a shelter pet as a gift?

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A5

     
    Merry Christmas!

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A8

     
    .

    Forum

    He isn’t ready to listen yet

    By Creators Syndicate | From Page: B5

     
    Thanks for the winter shelter

    By Letters to the Editor | From Page: A6

    Great experience for students

    By Letters to the Editor | From Page: A6

     
    Davis comes through again for UNICEF

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A6

     
    There was much to think about

    By Letters to the Editor | From Page: A6

    .

    Sports

    River Cats to show off Giants World Series trophies

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: B1 | Gallery

     
    Legacy announces huge add-on to youth soccer complex

    By Bruce Gallaudet | From Page: B1, 1 Comment | Gallery

    Carrs drive DHS wrestling weekend

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: B1 | Gallery

     
    College Bowl roundup: Navy nips Aztecs in San Diego

    By The Associated Press | From Page: B2 | Gallery

    Devil JV hoopsters take third at Les Curry

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: B2

     
    Busy 2015 tourney slate unveiled by Legacy soccer

    By Bruce Gallaudet | From Page: B8

    .

    Features

    .

    Arts

    Plenty of local party options on New Year’s Eve

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A7 | Gallery

     
    Wineaux: Here’s to a sparkling new year

    By Susan Leonardi | From Page: A7

    .

    Business

    .

    Obituaries

    James J. Dunning Jr.

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A4

     
    Floyd W. Fenocchio

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A4

    .

    Comics