Wednesday, October 1, 2014
YOLO COUNTY NEWS
99 CENTS

‘Ex’ should mean ‘not anymore’

AnniesMailbox

By
From page B5 | January 17, 2013 |

Dear Annie: I am a senior in high school. My boyfriend broke up with me a month after he went off to college. We had been together for nine months, and I was devastated. He was my first real boyfriend. He treated me well and cried when we broke up. He ended our relationship because it was his first time being on his own, and he didn’t want anyone tying him down. He said he needs time to figure out his life. He claims I will understand when I go to college, and I am trying to accept this.

Our breakup was amicable, even though I was upset. We still text and talk on a regular basis. I know he has no intention of getting back together, at least not now. I have seen him three times since we broke up, and every time we end up sleeping together. He told me recently that he thinks he is interested in another girl.

My friends say it’s best if I cut all ties with him — no more talking, texting or seeing him when he’s home for breaks. My friends have never been through something like this, though, so they don’t understand how hard it would be for me to not have him in my life. Annie, what do you think?

— Confused in California

Dear Confused: Please stop sleeping with your ex-boyfriend. It only muddies the water and makes everything more difficult. He has broken up with you, and frankly, he was right to do so. He’s away at school and wants to date other women. Instead of simply cheating on you, he was honest and ended things. But continuing to sleep with you is taking advantage. You have to let him go. If you want to remain friends, fine, but only if it doesn’t include “with benefits.” You need some space to get over him and move on with your life.

————

Dear Annie: I’ve never read a letter with my problem: I’m not attracted to my husband anymore, and that’s why I’m not having sex with him.

I have a stronger sex drive than my husband, who will be 50 soon. When we were in our 30s and he wasn’t so overweight, I would initiate sex if he had bathed and brushed his teeth after coming home from his construction job dirty, sweaty and greasy. The problem is that he stopped bathing, and I can’t deal with his significant beer belly and his horrible breath. Also, he has sinus issues and is constantly clearing his throat, which drives me nuts.

I am in good shape, and other men still admire me, which only adds to my frustration. Actually, the frustration is turning into bitterness because he makes no effort to get into better shape. Now I am simply turned off. We do very little together as a couple except eat. I’m sure he blames me for our lack of intimacy.

Please let men know that they can’t expect their wives to look great while they let themselves go. These middle-age issues never occurred to me when I was younger.

— No Longer Compatible

Dear No Longer: This is part of “in sickness and in health.” You might find your husband more appealing if he made even a small effort. “Not trying” seems like “not caring.” But it’s possible your husband has some issues with depression and aging. See whether counseling and a doctor’s checkup help. We hope so.

————

Dear Annie: “Disgruntled in California” said her older sister kept it a secret that she saw Disgruntled’s son eating in a restaurant.

Good grief. She saw her adult nephew eating in a restaurant, and she’s supposed to report this to his mother? Why? Disgruntled sounds like a helicopter sister. Older does not mean incompetent or in need of direction. Their relationship might improve a whole lot if Disgruntled attempted to be a friend instead of an overbearing mother.

— Sister Who Knows

————

Annie’s Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column. Email your questions to anniesmailbox@comcast.net, or write to: Annie’s Mailbox, c/o Creators Syndicate, 737 3rd Street, Hermosa Beach, CA 90254. To find out more about Annie’s Mailbox and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate Web page at www.creators.com.

— Creators Syndicate Inc.

Comments

comments

Special to The Enterprise

.

News

Jury: Marsh legally sane during murders

By Lauren Keene | From Page: A1 | Gallery

 
Undocumented Student Center offers help to immigrants

By Julia Ann Easley | From Page: A1 | Gallery

Rairdan supports more inquiry-based learning

By Jeff Hudson | From Page: A1 | Gallery

 
Standing In: Don’t write? I may as well stop breathing

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A2

 
Woodland man convicted in domestic violence case

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A2

Apply soon to be a Master Gardener

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A2

 
Katehi will address Rotarians on Monday

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A3

 
Mondavi Center hosts all-star lineup of classical, jazz, dance and more

By Enterprise staff | From Page: C3 | Gallery

Willett students sensitized to those who are different

By Maria Clayton | From Page: A3 | Gallery

 
Friends of the Library host biggest book sale of the year

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A3

Give blood and get a free movie ticket

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A3

 
Pedal around Davis on weekly bike ride

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A3

‘Edible City’ discussion planned

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A3

 
TSA bomb training may be noisy

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A3

AIM testing dates set this fall, winter

By Jeff Hudson | From Page: A4

 
Tour Honey Bee Haven on Friday

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A4

Woodland City Cemetery tours planned

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A4

 
 
‘ADHD — Myth or Reality’ addressed at UCD talk

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A4

 
Quotes from the Marsh double-murder trial

By Lauren Keene | From Page: A5 | Gallery

 
UCD athletics have break-from-work entertainment for everyone

By Bruce Gallaudet | From Page: C5 | Gallery

Quad abuzz with students

By Tanya Perez | From Page: A7 | Gallery

 
Wetlands visitors may see ducks arriving

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A10 | Gallery

Boy Scouts host family event in park

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A10

 
How did the Aggies get their name?

By Enterprise staff | From Page: C12

.

Forum

Hey, it’s free childcare …

By Creators Syndicate | From Page: B5

 
Will you open your heart, and your home?

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A6

 
The right vote for education

By Letters to the Editor | From Page: A6

Just what Davis schools need

By Letters to the Editor | From Page: A6

 
Tom Meyer cartoon

By Debbie Davis | From Page: A6

Nolan’s a calm voice of reason

By Letters to the Editor | From Page: A6

 
.

Sports

DHS girls tennis team tames Lions

By Enterprise staff | From Page: B1 | Gallery

 
Devil girls play dynamite pool defense

By Spencer Ault | From Page: B1 | Gallery

Davis volleyballers finish strong at Franklin

By Enterprise staff | From Page: B1

 
Hard-working Blue Devil boys get a water polo win

By Spencer Ault | From Page: B1 | Gallery

A’s fall as AL wild-card game lives up to its name

By The Associated Press | From Page: B1 | Gallery

 
Legacy roundup: Milliennium takes Manteca tournament

By Enterprise staff | From Page: B2

AYSO roundup: Beans, Capay can’t shake each other in U19 play

By Enterprise staff | From Page: B2 | Gallery

 
Alliance roundup: Los Azules, Italia win tourneys

By Enterprise staff | From Page: B3 | Gallery

Sports briefs: Real Salt Lake has too much for Republic

By Enterprise staff | From Page: B8

 
.

Features

From the ground up: Rediscovering classic cheesecake

By Ann Evans | From Page: A10 | Gallery

 
.

Business

.

Obituaries

Leonard D. Blackford

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A4

 
Anne Elizabeth Elbrecht

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A4

.

Comics

Comics: Wednesday, October 1, 2014

By Creator | From Page: A8