Wednesday, December 24, 2014
YOLO COUNTY NEWS
99 CENTS

‘Ex’ should mean ‘not anymore’

AnniesMailbox

By
From page B5 | January 17, 2013 |

Dear Annie: I am a senior in high school. My boyfriend broke up with me a month after he went off to college. We had been together for nine months, and I was devastated. He was my first real boyfriend. He treated me well and cried when we broke up. He ended our relationship because it was his first time being on his own, and he didn’t want anyone tying him down. He said he needs time to figure out his life. He claims I will understand when I go to college, and I am trying to accept this.

Our breakup was amicable, even though I was upset. We still text and talk on a regular basis. I know he has no intention of getting back together, at least not now. I have seen him three times since we broke up, and every time we end up sleeping together. He told me recently that he thinks he is interested in another girl.

My friends say it’s best if I cut all ties with him — no more talking, texting or seeing him when he’s home for breaks. My friends have never been through something like this, though, so they don’t understand how hard it would be for me to not have him in my life. Annie, what do you think?

— Confused in California

Dear Confused: Please stop sleeping with your ex-boyfriend. It only muddies the water and makes everything more difficult. He has broken up with you, and frankly, he was right to do so. He’s away at school and wants to date other women. Instead of simply cheating on you, he was honest and ended things. But continuing to sleep with you is taking advantage. You have to let him go. If you want to remain friends, fine, but only if it doesn’t include “with benefits.” You need some space to get over him and move on with your life.

————

Dear Annie: I’ve never read a letter with my problem: I’m not attracted to my husband anymore, and that’s why I’m not having sex with him.

I have a stronger sex drive than my husband, who will be 50 soon. When we were in our 30s and he wasn’t so overweight, I would initiate sex if he had bathed and brushed his teeth after coming home from his construction job dirty, sweaty and greasy. The problem is that he stopped bathing, and I can’t deal with his significant beer belly and his horrible breath. Also, he has sinus issues and is constantly clearing his throat, which drives me nuts.

I am in good shape, and other men still admire me, which only adds to my frustration. Actually, the frustration is turning into bitterness because he makes no effort to get into better shape. Now I am simply turned off. We do very little together as a couple except eat. I’m sure he blames me for our lack of intimacy.

Please let men know that they can’t expect their wives to look great while they let themselves go. These middle-age issues never occurred to me when I was younger.

— No Longer Compatible

Dear No Longer: This is part of “in sickness and in health.” You might find your husband more appealing if he made even a small effort. “Not trying” seems like “not caring.” But it’s possible your husband has some issues with depression and aging. See whether counseling and a doctor’s checkup help. We hope so.

————

Dear Annie: “Disgruntled in California” said her older sister kept it a secret that she saw Disgruntled’s son eating in a restaurant.

Good grief. She saw her adult nephew eating in a restaurant, and she’s supposed to report this to his mother? Why? Disgruntled sounds like a helicopter sister. Older does not mean incompetent or in need of direction. Their relationship might improve a whole lot if Disgruntled attempted to be a friend instead of an overbearing mother.

— Sister Who Knows

————

Annie’s Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column. Email your questions to anniesmailbox@comcast.net, or write to: Annie’s Mailbox, c/o Creators Syndicate, 737 3rd Street, Hermosa Beach, CA 90254. To find out more about Annie’s Mailbox and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate Web page at www.creators.com.

— Creators Syndicate Inc.

Comments

comments

Special to The Enterprise

  • Recent Posts

  • Enter your email address to subscribe to this newspaper and receive notifications of new articles by email.

  • .

    News

    Make that box bark: Studies show pets are good gifts

    By Dave Ryan | From Page: A1 | Gallery

     
    Want some company? Enjoy food, fellowship at Holiday Meal

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A1

    Hit-and-run victim hopes for driver’s arrest

    By Lauren Keene | From Page: A1 | Gallery

     
    No reindeer games for this student researcher

    By Jeff Hudson | From Page: A1 | Gallery

    Faithful flock to Bethlehem for Christmas

    By The Associated Press | From Page: A2 | Gallery

     
    Travel looks rough into Christmas Day

    By The Associated Press | From Page: A2

     
    Applications for jobless aid fall to 7-week low

    By The Associated Press | From Page: A2

    Supplies collected for victims of abuse

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A3

     
    Luminaria display planned in West Davis

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A3

    Gary Lee Yoder featured on ‘Davisville’

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A3

     
    Seniors set to stroll through Arboretum

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A3

     
    Pedal around Davis on weekly bike ride

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A3

    Nobel Prize winner will discuss research related to autism

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A4

     
    Why not give a shelter pet as a gift?

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A5

     
    Merry Christmas!

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A8

     
    .

    Forum

    He isn’t ready to listen yet

    By Creators Syndicate | From Page: B5

     
    Thanks for the winter shelter

    By Letters to the Editor | From Page: A6

    Great experience for students

    By Letters to the Editor | From Page: A6

     
    Davis comes through again for UNICEF

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A6

     
    There was much to think about

    By Letters to the Editor | From Page: A6

    .

    Sports

    River Cats to show off Giants World Series trophies

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: B1 | Gallery

     
    Legacy announces huge add-on to youth soccer complex

    By Bruce Gallaudet | From Page: B1, 1 Comment | Gallery

    Carrs drive DHS wrestling weekend

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: B1 | Gallery

     
    College Bowl roundup: Navy nips Aztecs in San Diego

    By The Associated Press | From Page: B2 | Gallery

    Devil JV hoopsters take third at Les Curry

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: B2

     
    Busy 2015 tourney slate unveiled by Legacy soccer

    By Bruce Gallaudet | From Page: B8

    .

    Features

    .

    Arts

    Plenty of local party options on New Year’s Eve

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A7 | Gallery

     
    Wineaux: Here’s to a sparkling new year

    By Susan Leonardi | From Page: A7

    .

    Business

    .

    Obituaries

    James J. Dunning Jr.

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A4

     
    Floyd W. Fenocchio

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A4

    .

    Comics