Thursday, April 17, 2014
YOLO COUNTY NEWS
99 CENTS

Constructive example or bad influence?

AnniesMailbox

Dear Annie: I am a 19-year-old heroin addict striving toward recovery. I go to five Narcotics Anonymous meetings a week, but I have occasional setbacks. After the most recent incident, I left drug paraphernalia in the bathroom. I took full responsibility and was ashamed and disgusted with myself. But the first thing my mother said was, “Did you leave that out on purpose so your sister could find it and start experimenting? She’s only 13!”

Annie, my sister is anti-drugs, and I talk to her a lot about the subject. I believe openness and honesty are the keys to avoidance, and I will do everything I can to save her from making the same mistakes I have made.

My parents will never understand addiction, but I wish they would try a little harder. I have repeatedly asked them to come to one NA meeting. I wrote them a three-page letter explaining the importance of my going to meetings and how valuable their support would be to me. I arranged for people to talk to my parents so they could ask questions that might be too uncomfortable to ask me directly, but they had no interest. They discourage me from attending meetings, and when I brought home literature from NA for them, they left it on the floor, and the dog chewed it.

I am heartbroken and need their support so much. Fighting my addiction is hard and scary, and instead of helping, they attack. I don’t know what else I can do.

— Begging for Mummy and Daddy

Dear Begging: Your parents are frightened — for you and for your sister — and they also don’t trust you. Getting off of hard drugs is a difficult process, and we commend your efforts. Your parents’ support is important. But if your setbacks include using drugs in their home and leaving paraphernalia in plain sight, it contributes to their anger.

Would your parents help with the cost of a reputable rehab facility? The Salvation Army also offers a program. You are making progress, but it is often beneficial to be separated from the culture that contributes to your drug use. Please show your parents this letter, and tell them you wrote it. We hope it helps.

————

Dear Annie: My father has Alzheimer’s, and I have attended a support group for five years. I have learned a lot.

Please let your readers know that the Alzheimer’s Association offers support groups, as well as information on local services, how to find good medical help and social workers who can assist with problems including wandering, driving and medication. You can learn how others have dealt with similar problems. There is informational literature on how to prepare for what may happen next with your loved one.

People who do not live in the area with the affected relative (considered a long-distance caregiver) can also benefit greatly from attending a support group where they live. The association’s focus is on all dementias, not just Alzheimer’s. Thank you for spreading the word.

— Caring for Dad

Dear Dad: We often mention the Alzheimer’s Association in this space. It is an invaluable resource, and we are grateful to you for delineating what they do. Readers can contact them at alz.org.

————

Dear Annie: We, too, went through the same turmoil as “Indiana Mom” because of a vindictive daughter-in-law who convinced our idiot son (he’s a Ph.D.) to prevent us from seeing our grandchildren.

Finally, no longer willing to tolerate this form of “grandparent abuse,” we disinherited my son and grandchildren and will never see them again. It was a painful decision, but we had to do it in order to maintain our stability. In retrospect, it was the right decision. We have regained our emotional equilibrium.

— California

————

Annie’s Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column. Email your questions to anniesmailbox@comcast.net, or write to: Annie’s Mailbox, c/o Creators Syndicate, 737 3rd Street, Hermosa Beach, CA 90254. To find out more about Annie’s Mailbox and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate Web page at www.creators.com.

— Creators Syndicate Inc.

Special to The Enterprise

LEAVE A COMMENT

Discussion | No comments

The Davis Enterprise does not necessarily condone the comments here, nor does it review every post. Read our full policy

  • Recent Posts

  • Enter your email address to subscribe to this newspaper and receive notifications of new articles by email.

  • .

    News

    Davis wins USA Today Best Cycling Town honor

    By Dave Ryan | From Page: A1

     
    Benefit set to help local bike legend

    By Adrian Glass-Moore | From Page: A1 | Gallery

     
    Jury deliberates murder, elder-abuse charges

    By Lauren Keene | From Page: A1

     
    State’s health care sign-ups beat projections

    By The Associated Press | From Page: A2, 1 Comment

    For the record

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A2

     
    California residents divided on drought solution

    By San Francisco Chronicle | From Page: A2

     
    For the record

    By Dave Ryan | From Page: A2

    Three killed in attack on Ukrainian base

    By The Associated Press | From Page: A2 | Gallery

     
    Downtown post office set to reopen

    By Thomas Oide | From Page: B3

    Run or walk to prevent child abuse in Yolo County

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: B3 | Gallery

     
    Nominations sought for charity paint giveaway

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: B3

     
    Scholar will discuss human trafficking in Friday talk

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A3

    Per Capita Davis: Now, for some good news

    By John Mott-Smith | From Page: A4

     
    Birch Lane hosts 50th anniversary party

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A4

    Hannah Stein reads poetry at gallery

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A4

     
    Davis Food Co-op to offer free bags on Earth Day

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A4

    Get in the picture with school board candidate

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A4

     
    KDVS hosts on-air fundraiser April 21-27

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A4

    Tickets on sale for Pence Garden Tour

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A4

     
    Fundraiser planned for Allen’s campaign

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A4, 2 Comments

    Food Co-op board plans open house

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A4

     
    Davis Downtown hosts candidate forum

    By Dave Ryan | From Page: A4

    Learn more about Google Glass at talk

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A4

     
    Barbecue celebrates winter shelter program

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A5

    Sign of things to come

    By Fred Gladdis | From Page: A8

     
    Davis Soroptimists celebrate 60 years

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A8

    .

    Forum

    Fancy meeting you here …

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: B5

     
    Don’t miss a Trokanski dance

    By Letters to the Editor | From Page: A6

    Frank Bruni: The oldest hatred, forever young

    By New York Times News Service | From Page: A6, 4 Comments

     
    Expert: Free parking is a myth

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A6, 1 Comment

    Have they really learned?

    By Letters to the Editor | From Page: A6

     
    A great community effort

    By Letters to the Editor | From Page: A6, 2 Comments

    Public Health Heroes honored

    By Letters to the Editor | From Page: A6

     
    Tom Meyer cartoon

    By Debbie Davis | From Page: A6

    .

    Sports

    Huge inning propels Pleasant Grove past DHS

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: B1

     
    Giants edge Dodgers

    By The Associated Press | From Page: B1 | Gallery

    Foster steps down as Lady Blue Devil basketball coach

    By Bruce Gallaudet | From Page: B1 | Gallery

     
    River Cats’ streak reaches six wins

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: B1

    Landry evolves into UCD women’s lacrosse leader

    By Bruce Gallaudet | From Page: B1 | Gallery

     
    Youth roundup: Martinez, Chan come up big at gymnastics regional

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: B2 | Gallery

    Kings drop season finale to Suns

    By The Associated Press | From Page: B2

     
    Angels get past A’s in extras

    By The Associated Press | From Page: B8 | Gallery

    .

    Features

    .

    Arts

    Wineaux: Good deals off the beaten path

    By Susan Leonardi | From Page: A7

     
    Rockabilly phenom to play at The Palms

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A7

    HellaCappella showcases a cappella singing

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A7

     
    ‘One’ singular sensation to open at DMTC

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A7

    25th annual state clay competition exhibit at The Artery

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A7

     
    .

    Business

    .

    Obituaries

    Tapan Munroe

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A4

     
    .

    Comics

    Comics: Thursday, April 17, 2014

    By Creator | From Page: B6