Thursday, December 18, 2014
YOLO COUNTY NEWS
99 CENTS

Father putting son in danger

AnniesMailbox

Dear Annie: I am a single mom of a 4-year-old boy who is being abused by my ex-husband and his wife. After a visit, he comes home bruised and scratched with black eyes. He has had scabies more than a dozen times. The worst thing is that my son was just diagnosed with PTSD.

I don’t speak negatively about his father. But when it’s time for my son to visit him, he cries and begs to stay home. He says, “Daddy hurts me, and I’m scared of him.” My son sees a child therapist, and she is worried for his mental health. My son’s teachers, pediatrician and therapist have all called Child Protective Services, but for some reason, they don’t investigate. I was told they don’t consider this abuse.

How can people say that? My son has such horrible nightmares after coming home from his Dad’s house that he has bedtime accidents. I have gone to court and used all of my money to retain lawyers, and I have lost every time. I am now broke and on the verge of going on the run to protect him. What can I do? Is there anybody who can help?

— Angela, No State, Please

Dear Angela: We do not understand how Child Protective Services could ignore abuse reports from teachers, pediatricians and therapists. Something isn’t adding up. We called the Department of Children and Family Services in Chicago, and they suggested you contact your state child abuse hotline and report the situation. You also can try the Childhelp National Child Abuse Hotline at 1-800-4-A-CHILD (1-800-422-4453) (childhelp.org).

————

Dear Annie: My husband and I are a blended family with grown stepchildren and grandchildren. His three married kids all have triple-digit incomes and own upscale homes. I have two daughters, neither of whom makes that kind of money.

How do we keep things equal when it comes to gift giving? After all, his children will receive more of our assets compared to mine. How do you make this fair when there are 10 recipients on one side and four on the other? (Don’t even get me started on inheritances.)

— Don’t Want My Kids Shortchanged

Dear Don’t: Are these gifts given jointly, or do you spend on your kids and he spends on his? If the former, each child should get gifts of equal value. If the latter, he gets to decide what he spends, and so do you, equal or not. The fact that his children are better off doesn’t mean they should be punished any more than yours should be rewarded for having less.

Please do not let this become an issue of contention with your husband. The partner with the greater income has an obligation to take on a greater share of the financial burden within the marriage, but that does not necessarily extend to grown children and grandchildren. The two of you should talk to an estate planner now about what will happen down the road, and be sure you can accept the outcome.

————

Dear Annie: “Retired Teacher” said that school counselors are not helpful when it comes to family or emotional issues.

I am here to assure you that “Retired Teacher” is wrong. In my 14 years as a high school counselor, I have wiped many tears, counseled thousands of students, held hundreds of family counseling sessions (after school, unpaid) and helped students work through death, suicide, rape and more. My former students often seek me out for advice after graduation and have invited me to their weddings and baby showers. Several students, and their parents, have commented that I am the only adult they will confide in.

Green Bay High School Counselor

————

Annie’s Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column. Email your questions to anniesmailbox@comcast.net, or write to: Annie’s Mailbox, c/o Creators Syndicate, 737 3rd Street, Hermosa Beach, CA 90254. To find out more about Annie’s Mailbox and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate Web page at www.creators.com.

— Creators Syndicate Inc.

Comments

comments

Special to The Enterprise

  • Recent Posts

  • Enter your email address to subscribe to this newspaper and receive notifications of new articles by email.

  • .

    News

    Former foster youths aided by UCD’s Guardian programs

    By Sarah Colwell | From Page: A1 | Gallery

     
    Rain Recyclers saves water for another day

    By Elizabeth Case | From Page: A1 | Gallery

     
    Konditorei presents free holiday concert

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A3

    City offices will take a winter break

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A3

     
    Supplies collected for victims of abuse

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A3

    New technology chief will join McNaughton Newspapers

    By Tanya Perez | From Page: A3 | Gallery

     
    Feds will discuss Berryessa Snow Mountain protection

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A3

    ‘Longest Night’ service Saturday

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A3

     
    Journalist will join post-film discussion Thursday

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A3

    Nominate teens for Golden Heart awards

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A3

     
    Yolo County needs a few good advisers

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A4

    Per Capita Davis: Time to stop fooling around

    By John Mott-Smith | From Page: A4

     
    NAMI-Yolo offers free mental health education program

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A5

    .

    Forum

    Marovich is a brilliant diplomat

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A6

     
    And a jolly time was had by all

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A6 | Gallery

    Tom Meyer cartoon

    By Debbie Davis | From Page: A6

     
    Remember that all lives matter

    By Letters to the Editor | From Page: A6

    Pollution from electric vehicles

    By Letters to the Editor | From Page: A6

     
    .

    Sports

    On skiing: What to know when buying new skis

    By Jeffrey Weidel | From Page: B1 | Gallery

     
    Devil boys host Les Curry beginning Thursday

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: B1

    UCD women gear up for second half of swim season

    By Bruce Gallaudet | From Page: B1 | Gallery

     
    Aggie men begin 4-game road trip at Air Force

    By Bruce Gallaudet | From Page: B1 | Gallery

    Youth roundup: DBC Juniors rider Kanz wins a cyclocross event

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: B2 | Gallery

     
    .

    Features

    College Corner: How does applying for financial aid work?

    By Jennifer Borenstein | From Page: B3

     
    What’s happening

    By Anne Ternus-Bellamy | From Page: B3

     
    Anniversary: Barbara and Jan Carter

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A8

    Something growing in the mailbox

    By Don Shor | From Page: A8 | Gallery

     
    .

    Arts

    Sing and dance along to Cold Shot at Froggy’s

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A7 | Gallery

     
    Point of Brew: Recollections of Christmases past

    By Michael Lewis | From Page: A7

    Come ‘Home for the Holidays’ and benefit school arts

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A7

     
    Golden Bough brings Irish holidays to The Palms

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A7 | Gallery

    .

    Business

    .

    Obituaries

    Rena Sylvia Smilkstein

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A4

     
    .

    Comics

    Comics: Thursday, December 18, 2014

    By Creator | From Page: B6

     
    .

    Last Minute Gift Guide

    Young phenoms make YouTube success look like child’s play

    By The Associated Press | From Page: LMG1

    Classic or contemporary, it’s all holiday music to our ears

    By The Associated Press | From Page: LMG2

    Teen gifts: ideas for hard-to-buy-for big kids

    By The Associated Press | From Page: LMG3

    Gift ideas for the health-conscious

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: LMG6

    Hall of Fame proudly puts these toys on the shelf

    By The Associated Press | From Page: LMG7