Sunday, November 23, 2014
YOLO COUNTY NEWS
99 CENTS

Father putting son in danger

AnniesMailbox

Dear Annie: I am a single mom of a 4-year-old boy who is being abused by my ex-husband and his wife. After a visit, he comes home bruised and scratched with black eyes. He has had scabies more than a dozen times. The worst thing is that my son was just diagnosed with PTSD.

I don’t speak negatively about his father. But when it’s time for my son to visit him, he cries and begs to stay home. He says, “Daddy hurts me, and I’m scared of him.” My son sees a child therapist, and she is worried for his mental health. My son’s teachers, pediatrician and therapist have all called Child Protective Services, but for some reason, they don’t investigate. I was told they don’t consider this abuse.

How can people say that? My son has such horrible nightmares after coming home from his Dad’s house that he has bedtime accidents. I have gone to court and used all of my money to retain lawyers, and I have lost every time. I am now broke and on the verge of going on the run to protect him. What can I do? Is there anybody who can help?

— Angela, No State, Please

Dear Angela: We do not understand how Child Protective Services could ignore abuse reports from teachers, pediatricians and therapists. Something isn’t adding up. We called the Department of Children and Family Services in Chicago, and they suggested you contact your state child abuse hotline and report the situation. You also can try the Childhelp National Child Abuse Hotline at 1-800-4-A-CHILD (1-800-422-4453) (childhelp.org).

————

Dear Annie: My husband and I are a blended family with grown stepchildren and grandchildren. His three married kids all have triple-digit incomes and own upscale homes. I have two daughters, neither of whom makes that kind of money.

How do we keep things equal when it comes to gift giving? After all, his children will receive more of our assets compared to mine. How do you make this fair when there are 10 recipients on one side and four on the other? (Don’t even get me started on inheritances.)

— Don’t Want My Kids Shortchanged

Dear Don’t: Are these gifts given jointly, or do you spend on your kids and he spends on his? If the former, each child should get gifts of equal value. If the latter, he gets to decide what he spends, and so do you, equal or not. The fact that his children are better off doesn’t mean they should be punished any more than yours should be rewarded for having less.

Please do not let this become an issue of contention with your husband. The partner with the greater income has an obligation to take on a greater share of the financial burden within the marriage, but that does not necessarily extend to grown children and grandchildren. The two of you should talk to an estate planner now about what will happen down the road, and be sure you can accept the outcome.

————

Dear Annie: “Retired Teacher” said that school counselors are not helpful when it comes to family or emotional issues.

I am here to assure you that “Retired Teacher” is wrong. In my 14 years as a high school counselor, I have wiped many tears, counseled thousands of students, held hundreds of family counseling sessions (after school, unpaid) and helped students work through death, suicide, rape and more. My former students often seek me out for advice after graduation and have invited me to their weddings and baby showers. Several students, and their parents, have commented that I am the only adult they will confide in.

Green Bay High School Counselor

————

Annie’s Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column. Email your questions to anniesmailbox@comcast.net, or write to: Annie’s Mailbox, c/o Creators Syndicate, 737 3rd Street, Hermosa Beach, CA 90254. To find out more about Annie’s Mailbox and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate Web page at www.creators.com.

— Creators Syndicate Inc.

Comments

comments

Special to The Enterprise

  • Recent Posts

  • Enter your email address to subscribe to this newspaper and receive notifications of new articles by email.

  • .

    News

    Need for local foster parents grows

    By Anne Ternus-Bellamy | From Page: A1

     
    Tactical robot decreases officer risks

    By Lauren Keene | From Page: A1 | Gallery

    Hollywood readies its big guns for the holidays

    By Derrick Bang | From Page: A1 | Gallery

     
    Couple arrested on drug, firearm possession charges

    By Lauren Keene | From Page: A2

     
    Woman confronts suspicious follower

    By Lauren Keene | From Page: A2

    Bob Dunning: Signs, signs, everywhere a sign

    By Bob Dunning | From Page: A2

     
    For the record

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A2

    Berkeley, Santa Cruz students protest fee hikes

    By The Associated Press | From Page: A2

     
    Breakfast with Santa tickets are going fast

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A3

    Auction-bound student artwork stolen in downtown heist

    By Lauren Keene | From Page: A3, 1 Comment | Gallery

     
    UCD awarded $100M to lead program to predict, prevent pandemic threats

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A3

    Probationers, parolees graduate from Yolo transitional program

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A4 | Gallery

     
    Free boot camp, yoga fundraiser this week

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A4

     
    Enterprise observes holiday hours

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A4

    Bell-ringers still needed this holiday season

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A4

     
    Thanksgiving feast is open to all

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A4

    Give blood and get a free movie ticket

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A4

     
    Workshop will answer financial aid questions

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A4

    Round up at the registers for Davis schools

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A5

     
    Museum announces holiday schedule

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A5

    Yolo Food Bank invites locals to run with the flock

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A5

     
    At the Pond: Stop, look and listen

    By Jean Jackman | From Page: A5 | Gallery

    Project Linus seeks donations

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A6

     
    Swing your partner!

    By Wayne Tilcock | From Page: A6

    Fairfield School enjoys a festive feast

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A7 | Gallery

     
    Right at home: gifts you can use and use up

    By The Associated Press | From Page: A8

    Dec. 10 jeans drive benefits STEAC

    By Anne Ternus-Bellamy | From Page: A9

     
    Davis Community Church history recounted in Sunday talk

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A10 | Gallery

    Open your heart

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A11

     
    Bob Hope interview pulled from ‘the vault’

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A12

    .

    Forum

    There’s only one way to fix this

    By Creators Syndicate | From Page: B5

     
    Students barking up the wrong tree

    By Our View | From Page: A14

    Heartbroken over treatment of teacher

    By Letters to the Editor | From Page: A14

     
    Rick McKee cartoon

    By Debbie Davis | From Page: A14

    Google, tell me. Is my son a genius?

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A14

     
    Daryl Cagle cartoon

    By Debbie Davis | From Page: A15

    Cordial political discourse: Seven years later, the thoughts resonate

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A15

     
    Easing the stress during college application season

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A15

    How I want to be remembered

    By Marion Franck | From Page: A16

     
    Watch out for holiday weight gain

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A16

     
    .

    Sports

    Turnovers costly as UC Davis loses Classic, 41-30

    By Bruce Gallaudet | From Page: B1 | Gallery

     
    Aggie men finish off Furman

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: B1

    Upset-minded Lions bounce UCD from WWPA tourney

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: B1

     
    New, old-look helmets not enough to lift UCD footballers

    By Bruce Gallaudet | From Page: B1 | Gallery

    Late shot sinks Aggie women

    By Spencer Ault | From Page: B1 | Gallery

     
    UCD roundup: Seniors play well in Aggie volleyball loss

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: B3 | Gallery

    With volleyball playoff berth, DHS accomplished its 2014 goal

    By Evan Ream | From Page: B6 | Gallery

     
    Wire briefs: Kings get past depleted T-Wolves

    By The Associated Press | From Page: B6

    .

    Features

    .

    Arts

    .

    Business

     
    Don’t pass up the parking gift downtown

    By Wendy Weitzel | From Page: A13

    Doby Fleeman: Give thanks for our innovation culture

    By Doby Fleeman | From Page: A20

     
    Honey, spreads showcased at open house

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A20

    .

    Obituaries

    .

    Comics

    Comics: Sunday, November 23, 2014

    By Creator | From Page: B8