Sunday, January 25, 2015

First amendment doesn’t cover hurt feelings


From page A15 | October 28, 2012 |

Dear Annie: When my son married six years ago, my wife and I welcomed his bride into our family with open arms. I knew my daughter-in-law had views that were much different from mine, but I was confident that we could coexist. I helped them with projects in their new home, and we got along rather well. We attended dinners and get-togethers at their house.

The waters got rather rough when I discovered she had written a letter to the editor in our local paper that contradicted my beliefs and principles. I brought up the subject with my son, and it led to a lengthy argument. I certainly recognize that we are privileged in this great country to be able to express ourselves openly, but I believe there is such a thing as propriety. I considered the letter a personal affront, and it ultimately caused alienation. My son did not even wish me a happy Father’s Day or acknowledge my birthday this past year.

I told my son I am willing to talk about the situation anytime they want, but so far they have declined. What is your opinion?

— Dad

Dear Dad: We think you took something personally that was not intended to insult you. Your daughter-in-law is entitled to write a letter to the editor expressing her views whether or not you agree with her. Unless she publicly named you as an adversary, you should have let it slide. In fact, touchy subjects should be off limits unless you know you can have a debate without creating ill will.

You need this to go away in order to regain your relationship. Call or write your son. Apologize for opening this can of worms and promise not to bring up the subject in the future. Say you “agree to disagree.” We hope your daughter-in-law will accept the ceasefire.


Dear Annie: When my friend’s husband died, she requested that people send checks to help pay for his gravestone. I’d never heard of that before. It wasn’t because she didn’t have the money. When she moved a year after his death, she completely renovated an older home.

Since her husband died from cancer, I thought my money would be better placed donating to cancer research, which I did. Was I wrong to do this? Is paying for the gravestone a new trend?

— Living in a Different World

Dear Living: We hope not. When families are in financial straits, contributing to funeral costs is welcome. But soliciting for a gravestone when one can easily afford it is in poor taste. Naturally, any such request is voluntary and optional. We think your donation was lovely and appropriate.


Dear Annie: I have better advice for “Suffocating in Louisville,” whose co-worker wears too much perfume. She should talk with her boss about a fragrance-free policy. If her doctor will write a letter stating that she needs a fragrance-free environment, they would have to implement it or be subject to a lawsuit. Suffering from this type of pollutant is a legitimate disability.

I have migraines caused by perfume, cologne, aftershave, scented lotions and air fresheners. It doesn’t matter if it is one drop or 20, the result is the same: instant migraine, burning eyes and scratchy throat. I love my job and didn’t want to quit. My boss was instrumental in making the changes for me.

For some people, it is automatic to put on fragrance when getting ready for work. If they know this could jeopardize their job, they will adjust to not using offensive products. If the business is not willing to change, they should contact

— Fragrance Free at Work in S.D.


Dear Readers: Today is Mother-in-Law Day. Please give yours a call.


Annie’s Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column. Please email your questions to, or write to: Annie’s Mailbox, c/o Creators Syndicate, 737 3rd Street, Hermosa Beach, CA 90254. To find out more about Annie’s Mailbox and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate Web page at

— Creators Syndicate Inc.



Special to The Enterprise

  • Recent Posts

  • Enter your email address to subscribe to this newspaper and receive notifications of new articles by email.

  • .


    Bridges of Yolo County: Wear, tear … repair?

    By Elizabeth Case | From Page: A1 | Gallery

    Four days of unusual, adventuresome music

    By Jeff Hudson | From Page: A1 | Gallery

    Spanish police arrest 4 suspected members of a jihadi cell

    By The Associated Press | From Page: A2

    Rockets kill 30 in Ukrainian city as rebels launch offensive

    By The Associated Press | From Page: A2

    Abe ‘speechless’ after video claims IS hostage dead

    By The Associated Press | From Page: A2

    GOP presses state bills limiting gay rights before ruling

    By The Associated Press | From Page: A2

    Abortion opponents express renewed hope at California rally

    By The Associated Press | From Page: A2

    Share your love (story) with us

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A3

    Sip wines at St. James’ annual tasting

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A3

    Fake schools draw federal scrutiny

    By The Associated Press | From Page: A3 | Gallery

    Winter produce available at Sutter market

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A3

    Vote for your favorites in Readers’ Choice poll

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A3

    Donations to be distributed during homeless count

    By Anne Ternus-Bellamy | From Page: A4

    Speaker will share computer security tips

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A4

    Logos Books celebrates 5 years, offers language groups

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A4

    Australian olive oil company opens U.S. headquarters in Woodland

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A4

    Explore at the YOLO Outdoor Expo

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A4

    Pedal around Davis on weekly bike ride

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A4

    Yolo animal shelter seeking rawhide donations

    By Lauren Keene | From Page: A5

    Woodland Healthcare employees take Great Kindness Challenge

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A5

    At the Pond: Nest boxes give birds new homes

    By Jean Jackman | From Page: A6 | Gallery

    California ranks worst in nation for guidance counselors

    By The Associated Press | From Page: A7

    Davis, Woodland are saving water

    By Elizabeth Case | From Page: A12

    Words and Music Festival events

    By Jeff Hudson | From Page: A12



    Family isn’t keen on relationship

    By Creators Syndicate | From Page: A8

    Caring for the aging mouth

    By Samer Alassaad | From Page: A8

    Big utilities’ nightmare begins to play out

    By Tom Elias | From Page: A10

    Mayor’s Corner: Let’s renew Davis together

    By Dan Wolk | From Page: A10

    We have the right to choose

    By Letters to the Editor | From Page: A10

    We don’t have to suffer

    By Letters to the Editor | From Page: A10

    City helped immensely

    By Letters to the Editor | From Page: A10

    Rick McKee cartoon

    By Debbie Davis | From Page: A10

    When measles spreads from Disneyland, it’s a small world after all

    By New York Times News Service | From Page: A11

    From innovation parks to innovative buildings and planning

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A11



    Wildcats’ inaugural kids development league exceeds expectations

    By Bruce Gallaudet | From Page: B1 | Gallery

    Aggies get top 2015 gymnastics score, but fall short

    By Bruce Gallaudet | From Page: B1 | Gallery

    Loud crowd sees DHS boys win

    By Spencer Ault | From Page: B1 | Gallery

    Lady Devils hold off Pacers, stay perfect in league

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: B1

    UCD men take two tennis matches

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: B8

    Watney in ninth at Humana Challenge

    By Staff and wire reports | From Page: B8







    Davis man focusing on cannabidiol business

    By Will Bellamy | From Page: A9

    Marrone Bio’s Regalia approved for new uses in Canada

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A9

    UCD grad makes insurance ‘hot 100′ list

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A9

    Yolo County real estate sales

    By Zoe Juanitas | From Page: A9





    Comics: Sunday, January 25, 2015

    By Creator | From Page: B8