Wednesday, April 23, 2014
YOLO COUNTY NEWS
99 CENTS

Flip this friendship

AnniesMailbox

Dear Annie: My husband, “Chuck,” and my best friend, “Lorna,” partnered to purchase and remodel old houses for rental. At first, it worked well. Chuck did the physical work, and Lorna did the aesthetic stuff. But they had too many clashes and decided to call it quits.

Chuck suggested they split the four properties evenly. He thought Lorna had agreed, but she apparently changed her mind. She has completely discounted all the hard work he put into the houses and is being totally unreasonable. Chuck thinks she wants to take him for everything.

Chuck suggested different ways to split up the properties and has asked Lorna what, exactly, she wants, but she ignores him. Lorna is focused only on the money, with no thought to our friendship. She is not struggling financially. She and her husband are very well off. I never would have dreamed she would be so ruthless. I feel betrayed by her determination to get every penny, yet she still expects us to be friends.

They finally agreed to see a mediator, which will cost us a ton of money when all they needed to do was talk it out reasonably. But I’m depressed and physically ill over Lorna’s need to control this. We’ve been friends for 30 years. Now I don’t know this person and want nothing to do with her. How do I deal with this?

— Don’t Do Business with Friends

Dear Don’t: You have learned something about Lorna’s character that surprised and disappointed you. Part of why it hurts so much is that you feel she doesn’t value your friendship as much as you thought. A mediator will help resolve the business side of this mess, so let your husband handle that. But you will have to tell Lorna that the friendship has suffered too much to recover. Unlike some friendships that can drift apart naturally, Lorna will need to understand why it’s over.

————

Dear Annie: Last year my son “borrowed” several thousand dollars from me. He said he was getting a tax refund and would be able to pay it back within two or three months. The three months came and went along with the tax refund, but he never repaid the loan.

My son got married a few months ago, and as a wedding gift, I forgave the loan. I thought I was being generous, but it made him angry. I am not wealthy, and it was obvious that my son had no intention of repaying me. Maybe I’m a cheapskate, but I believe a promise is a promise. What do you think?

— No Money Bags

Dear No: We’re on your side. Forgiving a loan of “several thousand dollars” seems quite generous to us. It’s too bad your son isn’t more appreciative.

————

Dear Annie: I had to respond to “Feeling Unloved in Kansas,” whose parents are paying for his sister to attend graduate school, but not him.

This happened to me. My brother didn’t want to continue his education, but my parents allowed him to make lavish purchases with investments our grandfather had set up for us. When I graduated, I was informed that my investments were needed to pay back my student loans. I was upset and knew that going to graduate school would be impossible with so much debt. But I don’t think my parents love my brother more. It was just horrible timing and a bad economy.

My solution was to find a job at a university. I am scheduled to graduate in May with no additional loans. It is difficult working full time and taking night classes, but it feels great knowing it hasn’t cost me anything and that I am not a burden on my retired parents. I would suggest “Feeling” start thinking about this now. Getting a university job is competitive but not impossible, and it’s totally worth it.

— Boston Grad

————

Annie’s Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column. Email questions to anniesmailbox@comcast.net, or write to: Annie’s Mailbox, c/o Creators Syndicate, 737 3rd Street, Hermosa Beach, CA 90254. To find out more about Annie’s Mailbox and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate Web page at www.creators.com.

— Creators Syndicate Inc.

Special to The Enterprise

LEAVE A COMMENT

Discussion | No comments

The Davis Enterprise does not necessarily condone the comments here, nor does it review every post. Read our full policy

.

News

UC Davis biodigester hungers for food scraps

By Elizabeth Case | From Page: A1 | Gallery

 
 
Council votes to look at reducing water bills

By Dave Ryan | From Page: A1

New mosaic mural reflects Peña family history

By Jeff Hudson | From Page: A1, 1 Comment | Gallery

 
Penalty decision looms in Winters homicide case

By Lauren Keene | From Page: A2

Hay bales burn east of Davis

By Lauren Keene | From Page: A2

 
Woman killed by train ID’d

By Lauren Keene | From Page: A2

 
Pro-Russian insurgents hold journalist captive

By The Associated Press | From Page: A2

Bible fun featured at Parents’ Night Out

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A3

 
Davis businesswoman presides over conference

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A3

Birch Lane sells garden plants, veggies

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A3

 
Team Blend hosts fundraiser for Nicaragua project

By Jeff Hudson | From Page: A3

Davis Arts Center: See ceramics, join the Big Day of Giving

By Erie Vitiello | From Page: A3 | Gallery

 
Fire damages Woodland home

By Lauren Keene | From Page: A3

Register to vote by May 19

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A3

 
Sign up for enviro organizations during Earth Week

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A3

 
Sunder hosts campaign event for kids

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A4

Church hosts discussion of mental health needs, services

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A4

 
UCD to host premiere of autism documentary

By Cory Golden | From Page: A4

UFC hears from two local historians

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A4

 
Fundraiser benefits Oakley campaign

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A4

Fire crews gather for joint training

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A4

 
Odd Fellows host culinary benefit for nonprofit

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A4

400 bikes go up for bids at UCD auction

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A4

 
UCD professor to talk about new book

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A5

Fly Fishers talk to focus on healthy streams, rivers

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A5 | Gallery

 
Train to become a weather spotter

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A5

Learn survival skills at Cache Creek Preserve

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A5

 
Veterans, internees may receive overdue diplomas

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A5

UC Davis conference showcases undergraduate research

By Julia Ann Easley | From Page: A5 | Gallery

 
Conservation District celebrates its stewardship efforts

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A7

Slow Food tour showcases area’s young farmers

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A10

 
.

Forum

Even a safe house needs boundaries

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: B5

 
My votes reflect city values

By Letters to the Editor | From Page: A6, 1 Comment

Tom Meyer cartoon

By Debbie Davis | From Page: A6

 
A plea on the Bard’s birthday

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A6

 
I support Sunder for board

By Letters to the Editor | From Page: A6

Will anyone notice?

By Letters to the Editor | From Page: A6

 
.

Sports

Davis gets to Grant ace and rolls in DVC crucial

By Bruce Gallaudet | From Page: B1 | Gallery

 
Walchli is under par in another Devil victory

By Enterprise staff | From Page: B1

Seniors send Blue Devil girls past Broncos in a lacrosse rout

By Spencer Ault | From Page: B1 | Gallery

 
DHS thunders back to win an epic DVC volleyball match

By Enterprise staff | From Page: B1

DHS/Franklin I goes to the Blue Devil softballers

By Chris Saur | From Page: B1 | Gallery

 
 
Baseball roundup: Rangers rally to beat A’s in the ninth

By The Associated Press | From Page: B8

Sharks go up 3-0 with OT win

By The Associated Press | From Page: B8 | Gallery

 
.

Features

Field to fork: El Macero’s chef offers spring tastes

By Dan Kennedy | From Page: A8 | Gallery

 
.

Arts

 
Five Three Oh! featured at April Performers’ Circle

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A9 | Gallery

Celebrate spring at I-House on Sunday

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A9

 
Music, wine flow at Fourth Friday

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A9

 
Biscuits ‘n Honey will play at winery

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A9

 
.

Business

.

Obituaries

Catharine ‘Kay’ Lathrop

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A4

 
.

Comics

Comics: Wednesday, April 23, 2014

By Creator | From Page: B6