Tuesday, September 30, 2014
YOLO COUNTY NEWS
99 CENTS

Former addict deals with negativity

AnniesMailbox

By
May 25, 2011 |

Dear Annie: Nearly 23 years ago, at the end of my Ph.D. studies, I became ill with severe depression. Not recognizing the problem, I self-medicated with illegal drugs and became an addict. I was so messed up that I had to move back in with my parents, who provided a roof over my head but nothing else. My father, a doctor, sent me to a psychiatrist who misdiagnosed me with bipolar disease. I was unable to work and had no money. At the end of a year, I was no better. I tried to burglarize my father’s office to get drugs, and my parents had me arrested. They then disowned me, and I became homeless. I lived in a shelter and began working at simple jobs I felt I could handle.

After two years, a friend insisted I be hospitalized in a mental health facility. A psychiatrist there correctly diagnosed me with major depression and began treatment. Within a matter of weeks, I was much improved and able to stop using illegal drugs. From there, I found a job near my educational level. I later married and have since lived a productive and happy life.

Here’s the problem: I have seven siblings. Some of them still speak ill of me to others, even manufacturing dramatic lies about me. My recovery has seemingly meant nothing to them. Can you help me understand why they drag me down like this? After all the years I lost, it seems like a very ugly thing to do. Is there anything I can say or do to stop it?

— Long Recovered

Dear Recovered: You need to tell your siblings how much this hurts you. People who exaggerate and gossip often do so because they crave attention, and in some perverse way, your siblings believe your story gives them celebrity status while making them feel superior. You might ask them why they feel the need to denigrate you to others. Then ask if they will please stop because it is hurtful and undermines whatever sibling relationship you have.

————

Dear Annie: I associate with some older gentlemen through my church. Many of them have nose hairs and eyebrows so long you could comb them. Why aren’t their wives telling them to take care of this? It is repulsive for those of us who have to look up at them while conversing. Ladies, please be helpmates to your husbands.

—Turned Off

Dear Turned Off: We have to assume these men do not realize they have hairs hanging from unattractive places, and it’s possible no one around them is willing to bring up the issue. And at some point, the eyesight can weaken, and these hairs are not noticed. We urge people to take care of their personal grooming since it makes an impression, justified or not, and if you need a magnification mirror, get one.

————

Dear Annie: I sympathize with “Fed-Up Roommate,” whose friend insists on controlling everything within their apartment and makes her life miserable.

Years ago, I was in a similar situation. With the landlord’s approval, I gave my roommate 30 days’ notice to find someone else to live with her, and I moved out. If “Fed Up” can afford to do this, she might consider taking this action rather than suffering through another nine months of her roommate’s bossiness until the lease expires.

When people are considering moving in together, it is important that they have a serious talk beforehand about housekeeping, bill paying, visitors and anything else that can come up when you room with another person. Even best friends who think they know each other well can be unpleasantly surprised when they are sharing close quarters. In my case, moving in with my best friend ruined the relationship.

— Sadder but Wiser

————

Annie’s Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column. Please email your questions to anniesmailbox@comcast.net, or write to: Annie’s Mailbox, c/o Creators Syndicate, 5777 W. Century Blvd., Ste. 700, Los Angeles, CA 90045. To find out more about Annie’s Mailbox and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate Web page at www.creators.com.

— Creators Syndicate Inc.

Comments

comments

Special to The Enterprise

.

News

UCD’s Tercero hopes for platinum LEED certification

By Dave Jones | From Page: A1 | Gallery

 
Relief, gratitude follow Marsh guilty verdict

By Lauren Keene | From Page: A1 | Gallery

Janet Wagner bids farewell to Sutter Davis

By Anne Ternus-Bellamy | From Page: A1 | Gallery

 
Nolan says he’ll keep an open mind

By Jeff Hudson | From Page: A1 | Gallery

Common Core: A new way to learn

By Jeff Hudson | From Page: A1 | Gallery

 
Standing In: Facing my fears in Oregon (and barely surviving)

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A2

A welcome challenge

By Enterprise staff | From Page: C2

 
For the record

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A2

Cool Davis: working on local solutions to global warming

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: C2

 
More rain dampens huge California wildfire

By The Associated Press | From Page: A2

Brown vetoes $100 million boost for UC, Cal State

By The Associated Press | From Page: A2

 
Learn about elections at Connections Café

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A3

All voices welcome at Oct. 1 sing-along

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A3

 
Meet Poppenga for coffee on Sunday

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A3

Locals invited to join worldwide LDS conference

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A3

 
Bucks for Ducks raises funds for Yolo Basin Foundation

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A3 | Gallery

A winning combination: video games + science

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A3

 
Word association: What comes to mind when you hear the word Davis?

By Enterprise staff | From Page: C3 | Gallery

Public invited to free summit on aging

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A3

 
Snapshot: The art of the matter

By Enterprise staff | From Page: C3

Nursery school plans rummage sale

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A3

 
Yolo Hospice offers support through the grieving process

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A4

Three microbreweries featured at Rotary Oktoberfest

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A4 | Gallery

 
Eernisse, Partida honored as Women of the Year

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A4 | Gallery

 
Museum wants your old Davis High School yearbooks

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A5

Davis Community Meals needs cooks

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A5

 
Study examines why mail ballots are rejected

By Jeffrey Day | From Page: A5

Gold STARS for UCD’s West Village

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A5

 
Project Linus seeks donations

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A5

Homecoming fun is no myth

By Wayne Tilcock | From Page: A5 | Gallery

 
Students invited to apply for Blue & White grants

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A5

Volunteers sought to make veggie bags

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A5

 
Where did Common Core standards come from?

By Jeff Hudson | From Page: A6

Farm to Fork movement thrives locally

By Elizabeth Case | From Page: C6 | Gallery

 
Maher replaces Wagner as Sutter Davis CEO

By Anne Ternus-Bellamy | From Page: A7

The ‘condensed’ version

By Dave Jones | From Page: A8

 
Snapshot: Recycling made easy

By Enterprise staff | From Page: C9

 
Mike Nolan, at a glance

By Jeff Hudson | From Page: A9

Snapshot: Science is fun at Explorit

By Enterprise staff | From Page: C11

 
Davis residents benefit from active service organizations

By Rachel Uda | From Page: C12 | Gallery

Davis Media Access brings community TV, radio

By Autumn Labbe-Renault | From Page: C14 | Gallery

 
Snapshot: Ban the bag

By Enterprise staff | From Page: C16

 
.

Forum

She just wants to get married

By Creators Syndicate | From Page: B5

 
Monte Wolverton cartoon

By Debbie Davis | From Page: A12

When does she graduate from home?

By Creators Syndicate | From Page: A14

 
I return to the mountains and memories of Mom

By Marion Franck | From Page: A14

There’s no pill to get younger

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A14

 
Love comes in all colors — and yes, even in black

By Debra DeAngelo | From Page: A14

Archer, Adams best qualified

By Letters to the Editor | From Page: A16

 
And another academic year begins …

By Our View | From Page: A16

They’re consensus-builders

By Letters to the Editor | From Page: A16Comments are off for this post

 
Sunder for school board

By Letters to the Editor | From Page: A17

Spacious mothering revisited

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A17 | Gallery

 
At the Pond: Thanks, activists

By Jean Jackman | From Page: A18 | Gallery

 
.

Sports

 
Walker draws coaches’ praise after solid performance

By Bruce Gallaudet | From Page: B1 | Gallery

Tale of two halves does in UC Davis, 37-14

By Bruce Gallaudet | From Page: B1 | Gallery

 
Elk Grove spoils DHS football Homecoming

By Thomas Oide | From Page: B1 | Gallery

Depth comes through for Blue Devil harriers at Stanford

By Enterprise staff | From Page: B1 | Gallery

 
Elk Grove overwhelms Devil JV footballers

By Spencer Ault | From Page: B3

 
UCD roundup: Scoreless ties for both Aggie soccer teams

By Enterprise staff | From Page: B4 | Gallery

 
.

Features

.

Arts

.

Business

 
New sick leave law: Don’t worry; you’ll feel better

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A13

Stocks end rocky week with a surge

By The Associated Press | From Page: A15

 
Activist investor pushes Yahoo to buy rival AOL

By The Associated Press | From Page: A15

 
.

Obituaries

Michael Allen Hanks Baxter

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A4

 
.

Comics

Comics: Sunday, September 28, 2014

By Creator | From Page: B8