Friday, August 22, 2014
YOLO COUNTY NEWS
99 CENTS

Granddaughter causing friction

AnniesMailbox

By
From page B3 | February 09, 2014 |

Dear Annie: Last year, I was laid off of work. Knowing my financial burden, our son asked whether he and his family could move in with us to help out. We reluctantly agreed.

The issue is our 7-year-old granddaughter. “Lulu” is spoiled by her mother. There is no accountability for her actions. Her mother makes all kinds of excuses, and it’s almost as though she is rewarded for her lack of behavior and respect.

Lulu dislikes me because I expect her to clean her room and adhere to general household rules and manners. She gives me dirty looks, never says “good morning,” talks back, defies us, lies and blames others, and uses inappropriate language. When I politely asked her (in front of her mother) not to use certain words, she looks me straight in the eye and says the word again. Her mother simply says, “You were told not to do that. Now apologize.” Even Lulu can tell that Mom is insincere, so she rarely apologizes and still won’t stop using inappropriate language. And of course, there are no consequences.

Lulu is manipulative, deceptive and narcissistic and has difficulty being social. She shows no affection toward us and told her school principal that I am her aunt.

Our son has very little to say. If he tries to discipline his child, he catches it from her mother. My daughter-in-law gets angry with me when I comment on Lulu’s terrible behavior. How do I get Mom to stop thinking she’s Lulu’s best friend and start being a responsible mother?

— Annoyed Grandma

Dear Grandma: We feel sorry for Lulu. Her lack of discipline will make her an undesirable friend and unwelcome everywhere. Parents sometimes don’t realize that children who have no definite boundaries feel insecure and act out. Your son needs to step up and be a father to this girl. If his wife gives him a hard time, they can go for counseling and parenting classes. We hope you get back on your financial feet soon so they can move out before your relationship is permanently damaged.

————

Dear Annie: A few years ago, I discovered that my older brother has a daughter who was born back in the ’70s with an ex-girlfriend. I tried to get more information, but kept hitting a dead end. One day, I ran into the ex’s parents, who informed me that my brother didn’t want anything to do with the child and I would never be allowed to have contact with her. When I told her our family had no clue the girl even existed, I eventually got the young woman’s name and address. I wrote to her, but received no reply.

This child is now in her late 30s. Should I try again? I’m not even certain she received my letter. I don’t want to hurt her in any way, but I would like her to know that she has relatives who care.

— Unknown Family

Dear Unknown: Where is your brother in all of this? Aside from ignoring his responsibility as a parent, he seems to have forgotten 18 years of child support. We appreciate that you want to make this girl part of your family, but that is her decision. You can write one more time, saying you understand that she may not wish to get in touch, but you want her to have family history and relevant medical information. Give her what she might need, and say you hope she will contact you. Then let it go.

————

Dear Annie: I, too, receive cards from my newspaper carriers at Christmastime, and I know they are basically solicitations for tips. I always send them back a card with a generous amount, and I expect nothing in return. As I write this, it is 6 a.m. and 3 degrees outside, and my “thank you” from them comes from seeing my morning newspaper already lying in my driveway.

— Cleveland, Tenn.

————

Annie’s Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column. Email your questions to anniesmailbox@comcast.net, or write to: Annie’s Mailbox, c/o Creators Syndicate, 737 3rd Street, Hermosa Beach, CA 90254. To find out more about Annie’s Mailbox and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate Web page at www.creators.com.

— Creators Syndicate Inc.

Comments

comments

Special to The Enterprise

  • Recent Posts

  • Enter your email address to subscribe to this newspaper and receive notifications of new articles by email.

  • .

    News

    No easy task: History buffs still trying to save building

    By Dave Ryan | From Page: A1 | Gallery

     
    DHS musicians back from summer in Italy

    By Jeff Hudson | From Page: A1 | Gallery

     
    City to overhaul its sprinkler heads, other water-wasters

    By Dave Ryan | From Page: A1 | Gallery

    Russian aid convoy reaches war-torn Luhansk

    By The Associated Press | From Page: A2

     
    Davis indecent-exposure suspect pleads no contest

    By Lauren Keene | From Page: A2

    Not-guilty plea entered in Woodland homicide case

    By Lauren Keene | From Page: A2

     
     
    Parents’ Night Out features Vacation Bible School

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A3

    Afternoon tours of city wetlands resume Sept. 6

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A3 | Gallery

     
    Yolo County golf tournament enters fourth year

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A3

     
    Putah Creek Council appoints new executive director

    By Elizabeth Case | From Page: A3

    Communitywide ice bucket challenge on Sunday

    By Anne Ternus-Bellamy | From Page: A3

     
    Prunes take center stage at last agri-tour of the summer

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A4

     
    In need of food? Apply for CalFresh

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A4

    Can you give them a home?

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A4 | Gallery

     
    Saylor will meet constituents at Peet’s

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A4

    Event will unveil mural celebrating food justice

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A4

     
    Writing couple stops at Davis bookstore

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A5 | Gallery

    Explorit: Final Blast show returns for second year

    By Lisa Justice | From Page: A5

     
    Wolk bill would require reporting of water system leaks

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A5

    Record drought saps California honey production

    By The Associated Press | From Page: A6

     
    World travelers

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A8

     
    Seniors set to stroll through Arboretum

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A9

    .

    Forum

    Weightlifters causing a racket

    By Creators Syndicate | From Page: B5

     
    Tom Meyer cartoon

    By Debbie Davis | From Page: A10

    No support for militarization

    By Letters to the Editor | From Page: A10

     
    A better use for this vehicle

    By Letters to the Editor | From Page: A10

    Police are our friends, right?

    By Letters to the Editor | From Page: A10

     
    Wage plan has a big flaw

    By Letters to the Editor | From Page: A10

    Bridging the digital divide with computational thinking

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A10

     
    .

    Sports

     
    Watney and McIlroy struggle at start of The Barclays

    By Wire and staff reports | From Page: B1

    Light-hitting Cats fall

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: B1

     
    Giants win nightcap in Chicago

    By The Associated Press | From Page: B1 | Gallery

    Watts likes what he’s seen in keen Aggie DB competition

    By Bruce Gallaudet | From Page: B1 | Gallery

     
    Sports briefs: Big West soccer coaches have high hopes for UCD men

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: B8 | Gallery

    .

    Features

    .

    Arts

     
    Davis Chinese Film Festival to kick off with 1994 favorite

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A11

    Rock Band campers perform at E Street Plaza

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A11

     
    Natsoulas to host mural conference

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A11

    Yolo Mambo to play free show

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A11

     
    ‘If I Stay’: Existential angst

    By Derrick Bang | From Page: A11

    .

    Business

    Car Care: Teenagers not driving safe cars, study shows

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A6

     
    Car Care: Feeling the summer heat? Your car battery is too

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A7

    Three-wheeled Elio gets closer to going on sale

    By The Associated Press | From Page: A12 | Gallery

     
    .

    Obituaries

    .

    Comics

    Comics: Friday, August 22, 2014

    By Creator | From Page: B6