Sunday, May 3, 2015
YOLO COUNTY NEWS
99 CENTS

Grandma feeling left out

AnniesMailbox

By
From page B5 | December 04, 2013 |

Dear Annie: I have not shared a birthday, holiday or special occasion with my son for the past five years, since he married. He has two children now.

We always have been close, but I’m so sad that my daughter-in-law won’t let me be a grandmother. Their first year of marriage, they alternated holidays and combined our families. When they had their first child, however, “Rhonda” said it was too much, and now all holidays are spent with her family. They are wonderful people, but she is not willing to share her toddlers’ time with her husband’s family, including his siblings.

I do not get the privilege of babysitting or having the kids over to my house for the day. I am not allowed to pick them up or bring them places. I live nearby, but they never stop over. Rhonda is socially immature, and I believe she is naive as well as selfish. She holds all power and control and is judgmental and unkind. She gives every excuse to avoid us. Her family has tried to reason with her, to no avail.

My son is terribly hurt by this and tries his best to include me for a short visit at least once a month. I am grateful, but not satisfied. I am fun-loving, happy, giving, appreciative and accepting. I make the most of whatever time I am allowed. But Rhonda is negative, self-centered and rude and does her best to spoil the visit.

I’ve tried several times to discuss this with her, have prayed and have shared words of wisdom and scripture, but nothing breaks through. My son prefers to avoid a confrontation. Should I also give up?

— Grandmother Missing Out

Dear Grandmother: How sad that Rhonda denies her children the privilege of knowing all of their grandparents. Would your son be willing to bring the kids to your home for a visit without Rhonda? And if you can manage it, consider inviting the entire family, including Rhonda’s folks, to your place now and then. We also recommend you work on ways to warm up the relationship with Rhonda. Surely you can find something to admire about her and keep quiet about the rest. We hope, in time, she will realize that what goes around comes around.

————

Dear Annie: My husband and I frequently go out to dinner with several other couples. One of the wives is a vegetarian. That’s fine, but she sometimes makes a scene with the server. She argues about the way things are prepared and accuses the waitstaff of lying.

It’s become quite embarrassing, and some of our other friends refuse to go out with her anymore. It recently happened again. My husband and I were mortified when she sent her meal back and accused the waiter of giving her the wrong dish. It ruined our night.

I think we should say something, but my husband thinks it will ruin the friendship. Any suggestions?

— Carnivore in Florida

Dear Carnivore: It is not unheard of for restaurants to prepare vegetarian meals with chicken broth or beef stock without declaring it. However, it is rude to accuse the waitstaff of lying and cause a scene. We recommend you do a search in your area for vegetarian restaurants when socializing with this couple. Otherwise, let them know you won’t be going out to eat with them because it is obviously too stressful.

————

Dear Readers: Sunday, Dec. 8, is The Compassionate Friends’ Worldwide Candle Lighting in memory of all the children who have died. Please light a candle in the evening at 7 p.m., local time, and remember them with love. For more information, log on to compassionatefriends.org.

————

Annie’s Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column. Email your questions to [email protected], or write to: Annie’s Mailbox, c/o Creators Syndicate, 737 3rd Street, Hermosa Beach, CA 90254. To find out more about Annie’s Mailbox and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate Web page at www.creators.com.

— Creators Syndicate Inc.

Comments

comments

Special to The Enterprise

.

News

Breaking barriers: For Prieto, it’s all about hard work

By Lauren Keene | From Page: A1 | Gallery

 
Council to hear about drought pricing

By Dave Ryan | From Page: A1

Nigeria: Nearly 300 freed women, children led to safety

By The Associated Press | From Page: A2

 
For the record

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A2

 
Peaceful Baltimore demonstrators praise top prosecutor

By The Associated Press | From Page: A2

 
Graveyard thefts land three Woodlanders behind bars

By Lauren Keene | From Page: A3

Downtown altercation leads to injuries

By Anne Ternus-Bellamy | From Page: A3

 
Woman arrested for brandishing knife on overpass

By Anne Ternus-Bellamy | From Page: A3

Yolo DA launches monthly newsletter

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A3

 
A Scottish setting for local author’s next book

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A3

Can plants talk? UCD prof will answer that question

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A3 | Gallery

 
Free beginner yoga class offered

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A4

Video discusses surveillance of prostate cancer

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A4

 
NAMI support group meets May 10

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A4

Dr. G featured on the radio

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A4

 
Fee proposed on rail cars that haul oil, other flammables

By The Associated Press | From Page: A4 | Gallery

Indoor Fun Fly comes to Woodland

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A4

 
 
Internships move UCD doctoral students beyond academia

By Julia Ann Easley | From Page: A5 | Gallery

Make Mom a warm vanilla sugar scrub

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A6

 
The secret to Mother’s Day gifting success: Give time, not stuff

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A6

Letter book is series of collected missives thanking Mom

By The Associated Press | From Page: A7

 
If your mom fancies something fancy, consider a tea party

By The Associated Press | From Page: A7

Out of Africa and back to Davis: James Carey will give special presentation

By Kathy Keatley Garvey | From Page: A9 | Gallery

 
Big Day of Giving makes philanthropy easy

By Tanya Perez | From Page: A10 | Gallery

Tuleyome hosts Snow Mountain camping trip

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A12 | Gallery

 
Tuleyome Tales: How are a snake and a mushroom alike?

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A12 | Gallery

.

Forum

Advancing education for California’s former foster youths

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: B4

 
With sincere gratitude

By Letters to the Editor | From Page: B4

A wonderful day of service

By Letters to the Editor | From Page: B4

 
Please help Baltimore

By Letters to the Editor | From Page: B4

End of life doesn’t mean life must end

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: B4 | Gallery

 
Eyewitness to the ‘fall’ of Vietnam: It was not a bloodbath

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: B5 | Gallery

 
Dangers from prescription pills

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: B6

 
.

Sports

UCD softball splits with Titans

By Enterprise staff | From Page: B1 | Gallery

 
Trifecta of Devil teams open playoffs Tuesday

By Evan Ream | From Page: B1 | Gallery

 
Defending champ DHS clinches a baseball playoff berth

By Enterprise staff | From Page: B1

Making memories at Aggie Stadium

By Wayne Tilcock | From Page: B3 | Gallery

 
Sports briefs: DHS boys win to reach lacrosse playoffs

By Enterprise staff | From Page: B3 | Gallery

UCD roundup: Aggie women speed past Hornets

By Enterprise staff | From Page: B12 | Gallery

 
Pro baseball roundup: Hudson pitches Giants past Angels

By The Associated Press | From Page: B12

.

Features

.

Arts

.

Business

Arcadia partners on soybean trait to improve yield

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A8

 
Marrone opens new greenhouse

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A8

 
New firm helps students on path to college

By Wendy Weitzel | From Page: A8

Yolo County real estate sales

By Zoe Juanitas | From Page: A8

 
.

Obituaries

.

Comics

Comics: Sunday, May 3, 2015

By Creator | From Page: B8