Friday, August 29, 2014
YOLO COUNTY NEWS
99 CENTS

Grandma feeling left out

AnniesMailbox

By
From page B5 | November 03, 2013 |

Dear Annie: I am hurt that my children and grandchildren do not include me when they have family get-togethers. They say they would have to clean their houses if I came, or they don’t know when I am available. They expect me to call when I want to see them. They swear they aren’t upset with me, but they never initiate a call. When I invite them to my house, the conversation revolves around recent outings and get-togethers at their homes to which I haven’t been invited.

I have taken my grandchildren on many vacations over the years, but they are teenagers now and too busy. They don’t want to go unless I include their friends, which I cannot afford. I recently decided not to call them and have had no contact in more than three weeks. Should I just go on without them in my life?

— Hurt in Florida

Dear Hurt: We agree that their excuses seem flimsy, but they do not need to include you in every get-together or outing. It’s perfectly OK for them to have these events with just their spouses and kids. You also know teenagers tend to be busy and that family obligations are not high on their list of priorities. We don’t believe anyone is being intentionally hurtful.

We hope you will continue to call, email and invite them over. You don’t need to take the kids on expensive vacations, but a special few hours with Grandma a couple of times a year — dinner at a nice restaurant or watching their favorite rock band together — would be lovely and help cement the bond. Think of ways to make the relationship warmer, instead of focusing on your hurt feelings and blaming them because you aren’t closer.

————

Dear Annie: Please tell your older readers that if they can no longer afford to maintain their home, they should sell it and get an apartment or move into a senior residence, instead of trying to hang on so they will have something to leave the kids.

I am tired of spending every vacation at my mother-in-law’s house so my husband can remodel, spending our hard-earned cash because she expects him to foot the bill for tools and materials.

She has other children, but they do nothing. When we suggest she move, she says, “I want to leave the house to my kids when I die.” Annie, the only “kid” who will benefit is the daughter who lives on the property rent-free. The others have no desire to move back into the old homestead. It is nothing but a financial and physical burden. If she really cared about her kids, she would sell it and move into an apartment.

— Want a Real Vacation

Dear Want: A lot depends on what Mom’s will says about the dispensation of the property. Still, it is up to your husband to decide whether he wants to continue putting in the effort. We hope you will be supportive of his decision. It is harder for parents to move than you might think. Mom’s reluctance to sell may be less about her kids than it is about her anxieties.

————

Dear Annie: I have a suggestion for “Your Private Pool Owner,” who complained of people assuming an open invitation to swim.

When I was a child, a neighbor used this system: He posted a pennant when the pool was available. Green signaled adult supervision would be provided, and blue meant children had to be accompanied by a responsible adult. We children kept a close eye on that flagpole all summer long.

— Susan in Baton Rouge

Dear Susan: We wish the adults would be as conscientious as the children.

————

Dear Readers: Don’t forget to replace the batteries in your smoke alarms when you set your clocks back one hour.

————

Annie’s Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column. Email your questions to anniesmailbox@comcast.net, or write to: Annie’s Mailbox, c/o Creators Syndicate, 737 3rd Street, Hermosa Beach, CA 90254. To find out more about Annie’s Mailbox and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate Web page at www.creators.com.

— Creators Syndicate Inc.

Comments

comments

Special to The Enterprise

  • Recent Posts

  • Enter your email address to subscribe to this newspaper and receive notifications of new articles by email.

  • .

    News

    Saving Putah Creek: a quiet concert at sunset

    By Elizabeth Case | From Page: A1 | Gallery

     
    Mr. Dolcini goes to Washington

    By Tanya Perez | From Page: A1 | Gallery

    Winton to be feted for her many years of community work

    By Bruce Gallaudet | From Page: A1 | Gallery

     
    Davis Innovation Center team fields questions

    By Dave Ryan | From Page: A1 | Gallery

    Researchers solve mystery of Death Valley’s moving rocks

    By The Associated Press | From Page: A2 | Gallery

     
    California extends review of $25B delta plan

    By The Associated Press | From Page: A2

     
    Assembly approves statewide ban on plastic bags

    By The Associated Press | From Page: A2

    Celebrate the Senior Center at Sept. 9 luncheon

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A3

     
    Need a new best friend?

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A3 | Gallery

    Equestrian eventing competition slated

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A3

     
    Dinner, auction benefit Yolo County CASA

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A3

    Forum explores local mental health services

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A3

     
    Solar-cooking workshop set at Food Co-op

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A3

    Kids can sign up for a library card and get a free book

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A4

     
    Explorit Science Center: Volunteers supercharge summer camp

    By Lisa Justice | From Page: A4 | Gallery

    Tee off for Davis’ continued prosperity

    By Lily Holmes | From Page: A4

     
     
    Bodega Marine Laboratory hosts open house

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A5 | Gallery

    Local group charts a year’s worth of beauty in flowers

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A5

     
    Free blood pressure screenings offered

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A5

    Name Droppers: UCD honors two of its own

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A6

     
    Books, conversation and poetry at Logos

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A7

     
    .

    Forum

    Let’s sell the MRAP on eBay

    By Letters to the Editor | From Page: C2

     
    Seeing both sides of ‘tank’

    By Letters to the Editor | From Page: C2

    What if we need MRAP?

    By Letters to the Editor | From Page: C2

     
    How could tank be helpful?

    By Letters to the Editor | From Page: C2

     
    Tom Meyer cartoon

    By Debbie Davis | From Page: C2

    Don’t sentence our police to death

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: C2, 1 Comment

     
    Will Davis see river water?

    By Letters to the Editor | From Page: C2

    Travel buddy is getting too fat

    By Creators Syndicate | From Page: B5

     
    .

    Sports

    Forget the score; focus on the energy brought by Aggies

    By Bruce Gallaudet | From Page: B1

     
    Returning seniors, new faces lead promising DHS links squad

    By Evan Ream | From Page: B1 | Gallery

    Devil golfers return from Scotland with smiles on their faces

    By Evan Ream | From Page: B1 | Gallery

     
    Devils scrimmage with Sac

    By Wayne Tilcock | From Page: B1 | Gallery

    UCD-Stanford: the clock is down to counting the minutes

    By Bruce Gallaudet | From Page: B1

     
    Wire briefs: Aces cruise past Cats at Raley

    By Wire and staff reports | From Page: B6

    Sports briefs: DHS girls fall by the slimmest of net margins

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: B6 | Gallery

     
    .

    Features

    .

    Arts

    ‘The November Man’: Who can be trusted?

    By Derrick Bang | From Page: A9 | Gallery

     
    B Street’s ‘The Ladies Foursome’ is aces

    By Bev Sykes | From Page: A9 | Gallery

    .

    Business

    Technology makes a great car better

    By Ali Arsham | From Page: C1 | Gallery

     
    .

    Obituaries

    Elaine Dracia Greenberg

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A4

     
    Margarita Elizondo

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A4

    .

    Comics