Tuesday, September 2, 2014
YOLO COUNTY NEWS
99 CENTS

He can always go home

AnniesMailbox

By
From page B5 | December 14, 2012 |

Dear Annie: I’m a 54-year-old single woman and a part-time college professor. I have three grown, successful children. At the time I met my boyfriend, “Joe,” I was living in a nice boardinghouse in an affluent area. Joe, 63, was divorced and for five years had been living with two of his sisters in the old family home in a working-class neighborhood. Joe had a great job as a contractor.

After a year, my friends and I finally convinced Joe to move out of the family house, and we got an apartment together. Life was great until I found out he was giving the rent money to his youngest son, 24. My income alone wouldn’t cover the rent, and we were evicted. Joe moved back to the family nest. I was not invited and was left homeless.

After six months, I got back on my feet. Joe wanted to repair our relationship and got an apartment in the city. Meanwhile, his eldest son and his daughter (along with her baby) moved into the family house, although they both have good jobs. After a year in his apartment, Joe lost his job and moved back in with his sisters.

I begged him to find a place where we could live together, but he made excuses about the money. I think the problem is that the familial need to live together is permanently instilled. I love him, and he says he loves me. What should I do?

— From a Boardinghouse

Dear Boarding: When Joe found his own apartment, it was a step in the right direction. But whenever the chips are down, he goes right back to his family. This is not unusual, but if it’s a long-term pattern, it could prevent him from making any commitment to you. Until Joe is ready to become independent, the two of you don’t have much of a future. But you also seem overly focused on affluent vs. working class. If you want someone more ambitious, look elsewhere.

————

Dear Annie: Would you please settle an etiquette question? When one hosts a party and guests bring a dish to share, do they take home whatever is left over, or do the hosts get to keep it?

I was taught that what one brings to a party is left with the hosts. Now we wonder whether this is correct, because we recently moved, and all of our new friends pack up whatever remains and take it home with them.

— Wondering in Maine

Dear Maine: If all the guests are asked to bring a dish because the dinner is potluck, they may take their leftovers home. Guests who bring a dish or a bottle of wine as a hostess gift, shared or not, should definitely leave it. The only exception is when the hosts do not want the leftovers and ask that people please take food home with them. That said, however, if the custom within your group of friends is that everyone brings a dish and they each take their leftovers home, it’s best to cooperate.

————

Dear Annie: This letter is in response to “Grateful Mama of Little One,” who wanted to know the proper way to ask that no toys be given at her 1-year-old’s birthday party.

Although I agree that birthday invitations should not come with “wish lists,” saying “no toys, please” is a courtesy. As someone who spends a great deal of time selecting the perfect gift, I would feel miffed if I discovered the child’s mother had marched the gift right back to the store. There is no harm in putting “no toys” on the invitation. Everyone may be grateful.

— Grand Island, Neb.

Dear Grand: A gift is just that and should not be dictated. But we do like the idea of parents creating a “theme party,” where guests are asked to bring a book or another item to be donated.

————

Annie’s Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column. Email questions to anniesmailbox@comcast.net, or write to: Annie’s Mailbox, c/o Creators Syndicate, 737 3rd Street, Hermosa Beach, CA 90254. To find out more about Annie’s Mailbox and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate Web page at www.creators.com.

— Creators Syndicate Inc.

Comments

comments

Special to The Enterprise

.

News

 
Planning begins for Davis Neighbors’ Night Out

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A1

 
Davis is not immune: Are you ready for a big quake?

By Dave Ryan | From Page: A1 | Gallery

6 militants killed in U.S. strike in Somalia

By The Associated Press | From Page: A2 | Gallery

 
San Francisco is first to test urban farming law

By The Associated Press | From Page: A2

 
Sword-attack suspect awaiting trial in Davis

By Lauren Keene | From Page: A2

Learn about RNA at Science Café

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A3

 
Google Glass will be discussed, demonstrated

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A3

Tickets still available for DHS Hall of Fame dinner

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A3

 
Cuddle up at Project Linus’ meeting

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A3

Public opinion sought about Nishi Gateway

By Lily Holmes | From Page: A3

 
International folk dancing offered Sundays

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A3

Got bikes? Donate ‘em!

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A3

 
Rose garden bricks to be dedicated Saturday

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A3

It’s About Time plays Davis Farmers Market’s Picnic in the Park

By Anthony Siino | From Page: A3 | Gallery

 
Register year-round at Davis Chinese School

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A8

 
.

Forum

Tom Meyer cartoon

By Debbie Davis | From Page: A4

 
Have the facts before you judge

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A4

Tesla has state walking a tightrope

By Tom Elias | From Page: A4

 
Special-needs passengers ignored

By Letters to the Editor | From Page: A4

A cure for Davis’ problems

By Letters to the Editor | From Page: A4

 
A good use for the MRAP

By Letters to the Editor | From Page: A4

Marriage vs. male instinct

By Creators Syndicate | From Page: B5

 
.

Sports

DHS boys looking to replicate a big cross country performance

By Spencer Ault | From Page: B1 | Gallery

 
Life without MacDonald starts Friday for DHS

By Thomas Oide | From Page: B1 | Gallery

Clark recalls his hole-in-one — the first at Davis Golf Course

By Bruce Gallaudet | From Page: B1 | Gallery

 
Fruits of their Labor Day

By Sue Cockrell | From Page: B1 | Gallery

 
UCD roundup: Aggies edge Quinnipiac in overtime

By Enterprise staff | From Page: B2

Sports briefs: Hot Shots basketball tryouts coming up

By Enterprise staff | From Page: B3

 
Baseball roundup: Aces end River Cats’ season

By Staff and wire reports | From Page: B3

Junior Blue Devils strong in home debut, winning 3 on the field

By Enterprise staff | From Page: B8 | Gallery

 
.

Features

.

Arts

.

Business

.

Obituaries

Elaine Dracia Greenberg

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A5

 
.

Comics

Comics: Tuesday, September 2, 2014 (set 1)

By Creator | From Page: B5

 
Comics: Tuesday, September 2, 2014 (set 2)

By Creator | From Page: B7