Sunday, September 14, 2014
YOLO COUNTY NEWS
99 CENTS

He can always go home

AnniesMailbox

By
From page B5 | December 14, 2012 |

Dear Annie: I’m a 54-year-old single woman and a part-time college professor. I have three grown, successful children. At the time I met my boyfriend, “Joe,” I was living in a nice boardinghouse in an affluent area. Joe, 63, was divorced and for five years had been living with two of his sisters in the old family home in a working-class neighborhood. Joe had a great job as a contractor.

After a year, my friends and I finally convinced Joe to move out of the family house, and we got an apartment together. Life was great until I found out he was giving the rent money to his youngest son, 24. My income alone wouldn’t cover the rent, and we were evicted. Joe moved back to the family nest. I was not invited and was left homeless.

After six months, I got back on my feet. Joe wanted to repair our relationship and got an apartment in the city. Meanwhile, his eldest son and his daughter (along with her baby) moved into the family house, although they both have good jobs. After a year in his apartment, Joe lost his job and moved back in with his sisters.

I begged him to find a place where we could live together, but he made excuses about the money. I think the problem is that the familial need to live together is permanently instilled. I love him, and he says he loves me. What should I do?

— From a Boardinghouse

Dear Boarding: When Joe found his own apartment, it was a step in the right direction. But whenever the chips are down, he goes right back to his family. This is not unusual, but if it’s a long-term pattern, it could prevent him from making any commitment to you. Until Joe is ready to become independent, the two of you don’t have much of a future. But you also seem overly focused on affluent vs. working class. If you want someone more ambitious, look elsewhere.

————

Dear Annie: Would you please settle an etiquette question? When one hosts a party and guests bring a dish to share, do they take home whatever is left over, or do the hosts get to keep it?

I was taught that what one brings to a party is left with the hosts. Now we wonder whether this is correct, because we recently moved, and all of our new friends pack up whatever remains and take it home with them.

— Wondering in Maine

Dear Maine: If all the guests are asked to bring a dish because the dinner is potluck, they may take their leftovers home. Guests who bring a dish or a bottle of wine as a hostess gift, shared or not, should definitely leave it. The only exception is when the hosts do not want the leftovers and ask that people please take food home with them. That said, however, if the custom within your group of friends is that everyone brings a dish and they each take their leftovers home, it’s best to cooperate.

————

Dear Annie: This letter is in response to “Grateful Mama of Little One,” who wanted to know the proper way to ask that no toys be given at her 1-year-old’s birthday party.

Although I agree that birthday invitations should not come with “wish lists,” saying “no toys, please” is a courtesy. As someone who spends a great deal of time selecting the perfect gift, I would feel miffed if I discovered the child’s mother had marched the gift right back to the store. There is no harm in putting “no toys” on the invitation. Everyone may be grateful.

— Grand Island, Neb.

Dear Grand: A gift is just that and should not be dictated. But we do like the idea of parents creating a “theme party,” where guests are asked to bring a book or another item to be donated.

————

Annie’s Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column. Email questions to anniesmailbox@comcast.net, or write to: Annie’s Mailbox, c/o Creators Syndicate, 737 3rd Street, Hermosa Beach, CA 90254. To find out more about Annie’s Mailbox and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate Web page at www.creators.com.

— Creators Syndicate Inc.

Comments

comments

Special to The Enterprise

.

News

Snyder pleads no contest in UCD explosives case

By Lauren Keene | From Page: A1

 
Psychologist casts doubt on Marsh insanity defense

By Lauren Keene | From Page: A1 | Gallery

Looking for a few good residents

By Dave Ryan | From Page: A1 | Gallery

 
Well levels drop around the county as drought presses on

By Elizabeth Case | From Page: A1 | Gallery

Sign up now for free Community Yard Sale

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A2

 
Friday night robbery leads to arrests, dog bite

By Elizabeth Case | From Page: A2

Bob Dunning: Now the weather nut is all grown up

By Bob Dunning | From Page: A2

 
Video shows slaying of British aid worker

By The Associated Press | From Page: A2

Try yoga, meditation at Holistic Health Center

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A2

 
West Nile virus holds strong in Davis area

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A3

Davis Neighbors’ Night Out brings residents together

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A3

 
Saylor meets constituents at Peet’s

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A3

Hawaiian Luau set at Covell Gardens

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A3

 
Portuguese breakfast set in Woodland

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A3

Youths can learn from DHS cheerleaders

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A3

 
Fourth annual Capay Crush celebrates farm life

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A4 | Gallery

 
Climate change rally planned in Central Park

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A4

Downtown history tour planned in October

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A4

 
Gibson House hosts plant sale and workshop

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A4

Farmers Market sets Fall Festival

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A4

 
Memorial playground approaches goal

By Lily Holmes | From Page: A4

Logos plans four events for October

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A4

 
White, Gaard will lead Yolo Superior Court in 2015-16

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A4 | Gallery

Day of the Dead altar makers sought

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A6 | Gallery

 
MCCC will present justice awards at luncheon

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A6

New class offers parenting strategies

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A6

 
Renée Thompson to discuss her novel for Woodland Reads project

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A6

Genealogy club presents virtual tour of local resource

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A7

 
University Farm Circle reaches out to newcomers

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A8

Garden doctor: Our trees are getting thirsty

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A11 | Gallery

 
Public invited to 2014 Yolo Aging Summit

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A11

.

Forum

She’s getting all the blame

By Creators Syndicate | From Page: B5

 
The sacrificial lamb on the altar of denial

By Debra DeAngelo | From Page: A5

They don’t want him around

By Creators Syndicate | From Page: A5

 
Unexpected treasures from the summer

By Marion Franck | From Page: A5

Preventing RSV infections in our kids

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A5

 
Bob Englehart cartoon

By Debbie Davis | From Page: A12

Davis has options on innovation

By Our View | From Page: A12

 
Archer has worked hard for us

By Letters to the Editor | From Page: A12

Is history repeating itself?

By Letters to the Editor | From Page: A12

 
Time for a progressive PD

By Letters to the Editor | From Page: A12

A bad vote for our water

By Letters to the Editor | From Page: A12

 
Bloggers, beware: They might be out to get you

By Derrick Bang | From Page: A12

 
Speak out

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A13

.

Sports

DHS boys get a nice win with two big games looming

By Enterprise staff | From Page: B1

 
Vintage pounds DHS on the ground

By Spencer Ault | From Page: B1 | Gallery

Aggie offense is there, but UCD can’t stop Rams

By Bruce Gallaudet | From Page: B1 | Gallery

 
Unlikely hero powers Republic in playoff opener

By Evan Ream | From Page: B1 | Gallery

No more FBS, but UCD’s tough schedule continues

By Bruce Gallaudet | From Page: B1

 
JV Blue Devils drop a high-scoring affair

By Spencer Ault | From Page: B3

UCD roundup: Dons do just enough to edge Aggie women

By Enterprise staff | From Page: B4 | Gallery

 
Baseball roundup: A’s get a much-needed win in Seattle

By The Associated Press | From Page: B8

Sports briefs: Blue Devils net a tournament win at home

By Enterprise staff | From Page: B8 | Gallery

 
.

Features

.

Arts

Apply now for Davis Community Idol

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A11

 
.

Business

Nugget Markets’ cheese specialists achieve certified professional status

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A9 | Gallery

 
Talks continue for proposed Old Soul site

By Wendy Weitzel | From Page: A9

Yolo County real estate sales

By Zoe Juanitas | From Page: A9

 
Doby Fleeman: The opportunity is ours

By Doby Fleeman | From Page: A14

University lights way for hospital energy savings

By Kat Kerlin | From Page: A14 | Gallery

 
Davis leaders celebrate Engage3′s advances

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A14 | Gallery

.

Obituaries

Virnelle Triebsch

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A4

 
.

Comics

Comics: Sunday, September 14, 2014

By Creator | From Page: B8