Sunday, April 20, 2014
YOLO COUNTY NEWS
99 CENTS

He can always go home

AnniesMailbox

Dear Annie: I’m a 54-year-old single woman and a part-time college professor. I have three grown, successful children. At the time I met my boyfriend, “Joe,” I was living in a nice boardinghouse in an affluent area. Joe, 63, was divorced and for five years had been living with two of his sisters in the old family home in a working-class neighborhood. Joe had a great job as a contractor.

After a year, my friends and I finally convinced Joe to move out of the family house, and we got an apartment together. Life was great until I found out he was giving the rent money to his youngest son, 24. My income alone wouldn’t cover the rent, and we were evicted. Joe moved back to the family nest. I was not invited and was left homeless.

After six months, I got back on my feet. Joe wanted to repair our relationship and got an apartment in the city. Meanwhile, his eldest son and his daughter (along with her baby) moved into the family house, although they both have good jobs. After a year in his apartment, Joe lost his job and moved back in with his sisters.

I begged him to find a place where we could live together, but he made excuses about the money. I think the problem is that the familial need to live together is permanently instilled. I love him, and he says he loves me. What should I do?

— From a Boardinghouse

Dear Boarding: When Joe found his own apartment, it was a step in the right direction. But whenever the chips are down, he goes right back to his family. This is not unusual, but if it’s a long-term pattern, it could prevent him from making any commitment to you. Until Joe is ready to become independent, the two of you don’t have much of a future. But you also seem overly focused on affluent vs. working class. If you want someone more ambitious, look elsewhere.

————

Dear Annie: Would you please settle an etiquette question? When one hosts a party and guests bring a dish to share, do they take home whatever is left over, or do the hosts get to keep it?

I was taught that what one brings to a party is left with the hosts. Now we wonder whether this is correct, because we recently moved, and all of our new friends pack up whatever remains and take it home with them.

— Wondering in Maine

Dear Maine: If all the guests are asked to bring a dish because the dinner is potluck, they may take their leftovers home. Guests who bring a dish or a bottle of wine as a hostess gift, shared or not, should definitely leave it. The only exception is when the hosts do not want the leftovers and ask that people please take food home with them. That said, however, if the custom within your group of friends is that everyone brings a dish and they each take their leftovers home, it’s best to cooperate.

————

Dear Annie: This letter is in response to “Grateful Mama of Little One,” who wanted to know the proper way to ask that no toys be given at her 1-year-old’s birthday party.

Although I agree that birthday invitations should not come with “wish lists,” saying “no toys, please” is a courtesy. As someone who spends a great deal of time selecting the perfect gift, I would feel miffed if I discovered the child’s mother had marched the gift right back to the store. There is no harm in putting “no toys” on the invitation. Everyone may be grateful.

— Grand Island, Neb.

Dear Grand: A gift is just that and should not be dictated. But we do like the idea of parents creating a “theme party,” where guests are asked to bring a book or another item to be donated.

————

Annie’s Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column. Email questions to anniesmailbox@comcast.net, or write to: Annie’s Mailbox, c/o Creators Syndicate, 737 3rd Street, Hermosa Beach, CA 90254. To find out more about Annie’s Mailbox and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate Web page at www.creators.com.

— Creators Syndicate Inc.

Special to The Enterprise

LEAVE A COMMENT

Discussion | No comments

The Davis Enterprise does not necessarily condone the comments here, nor does it review every post. Read our full policy

  • Recent Posts

  • Enter your email address to subscribe to this newspaper and receive notifications of new articles by email.

  • .

    News

     
    Hub of activity: DHS newspaper keeps evolving

    By Zoe Juanitas | From Page: A1 | Gallery

     
    A springtime ritual

    By Wayne Tilcock | From Page: A1 | Gallery

    Holy fire ceremony draws thousands in Jerusalem

    By The Associated Press | From Page: A2 | Gallery

     
    Tour renovated YCCC facility Thursday

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A3

     
    Tour Davis Waldorf School on Wednesday

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A3

    The fifth annual Tour de Cluck is soon to be hatched

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A3 | Gallery

     
    Ortiz lawn signs available

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A3

    Sign up soon for spring cooking classes

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A3

     
    Robb Davis team to rally on Saturday

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A3

    Steadfast in their support

    By Lauren Keene | From Page: A4, 12 Comments | Gallery

     
    Yolo Hospice offers free grief workshops

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A4

    Sign up for Camp Kesem caterpillar crawl

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A4

     
    Quilters gear up for annual show

    By Sebastian Onate | From Page: A4

    League hosts a series of candidate forums

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A5

     
    KDVS launches fund drive on Monday

    By Jeff Hudson | From Page: A5

    Calling all Scrabble fans

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A5, 1 Comment | Gallery

     
    Hub webpage is seeing traffic increasing

    By Zoe Juanitas | From Page: A8

    Hotel/conference center info meeting set

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A16

     
    Lescroart welcomes all to book-launch party

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A16 | Gallery

    DEVO set to serve up 14th annual Winkler Dinner

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A16, 1 Comment | Gallery

     
    Learn Chinese crafts at I-House

    By Sebastian Onate | From Page: A16

    Preschool open house set at Davis Waldorf

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A16

     
    Birch Lane celebrates its 50th anniversary

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A16

    .

    Forum

    Take ownership of your health

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: B5

     
    Keep your baby safe

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A7

     
    Not thrilled with lack of symmetry

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A7

    Reliving the agony and ecstasy of spring

    By Marion Franck | From Page: A7

     
    Road diet? No, city diet!

    By Letters to the Editor | From Page: A12, 5 Comments

    We’re reveling in our equality

    By Letters to the Editor | From Page: A12, 1 Comment

     
    Vote no; it’s fiscally responsible

    By Letters to the Editor | From Page: A12, 3 Comments

    Rick McKee cartoon

    By Debbie Davis | From Page: A12

     
    Core values on campus

    By Our View | From Page: A12, 3 Comments

     
    Don’t want to sit in Fix 50 traffic? Consider alternatives

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A13, 1 Comment

     
    Bill is an affront to UC Davis ag biotech and local farmers

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A13, 4 Comments

    .

    Sports

    Devils burn up the track

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: B1

     
    UCD softball shut out by Santa Barbara

    By Thomas Oide | From Page: B1 | Gallery

     
    Aggie men shoot 9-under, lead own tourney

    By Bruce Gallaudet | From Page: B1 | Gallery

    Stars shine in Woody Wilson Classic

    By Evan Ream | From Page: B1, 1 Comment | Gallery

     
    UCD roundup: Aggie baseball swept away by Highlanders

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: B2

    A’s score 3 in ninth, rally past Astros 4-3

    By The Associated Press | From Page: B6

     
    .

    Features

    .

    Arts

    .

    Business

    Yolo Federal Credit Union gets WISH funds

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A9

     
    PG&E pays taxes, fees to county, cities

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A9, 1 Comment

    Will Davis get an Old Soul?

    By Wendy Weitzel | From Page: A9

     
    Pediatricians, nurse practitioner hired at Woodland Healthcare

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A9 | Gallery

    Asian stocks mostly higher after mixed U.S. earnings

    By The Associated Press | From Page: A9

     
    Davis Roots will showcase its graduating startups

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A14

    University Honda wins another President’s Award

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A14 | Gallery

     
    Dutch Bros. raises $19,000 for girl with leukemia

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A14 | Gallery

    .

    Obituaries

    .

    Comics

    Comics: Sunday, April 20, 2014

    By Creator | From Page: B8