Sunday, March 1, 2015
YOLO COUNTY NEWS
99 CENTS

He doesn’t want to grow up

AnniesMailbox

By
From page B5 | March 06, 2013 |

Dear Annie: My boyfriend’s parents are truly wonderful people, but they have taught their son to rely solely on them. He is in his 50s, and they still pay his bills and give him loans, often for “toys” rather than something necessary. I am self-sufficient. I borrow money from no one, pay my bills and am on a limited budget.

I knew my boyfriend was rather self-centered before we moved in together. We discuss nothing about our household, but he talks to his parents about our finances. When they tell him to do something, he complies, even if I am against it.

This is causing problems in our relationship. I am afraid my only option is to leave. I love him, but I feel I could never measure up to his parents, and they will keep him a little boy forever. Our relationship needs to move to the next level, but it is impossible with them hanging on for dear life.

— Frustrated

Dear Frustrated: A man in his 50s who still expects his parents to pay his bills and buy him toys is not a responsible adult, and we cannot promise he ever will be. Unless you can convince him or his parents that their indulgence is not in his best interests, you will be fighting an uphill battle. Sorry.

————

Dear Annie: I am a recovering meth addict. I’ve been clean for more than five years. However, during my druggie days, I was pregnant five times. I miscarried all of the babies due to my addiction. I am very ashamed of my past. Every day, I live with the guilt of what I did to my innocent unborn children.

In the past five years, God has blessed me with two wonderful sons, whom I love more than anything. But how do I deal with the guilt? I have tried talking to friends and family, but I’m judged a lot. It’s eating away at me.

— W.

Dear W.: Please speak to someone who can be impartial about your past and help you deal with your guilt in a way that allows you to forgive yourself. Your doctor can refer you to a counselor, or you could contact any graduate school counseling department, medical school psychology department, United Way, the YMCA, the Samaritan Institute (samaritaninstitute.org) and the Abraham Low Self-Help Systems at lowselfhelpsystems.org.

————

Dear Annie: “K” complained about a neighbor child she fears is “a ticking time bomb.” My son fits nearly every category of her profile. He has difficulty in public and prefers to be by himself. He shows a great interest in guns and has few friends, and we had to move him to a different school because “he didn’t fit in.” This does not make him a potential risk.

My son struggles every day with epilepsy, along with the side effects of several medications. Children his age can be brutal to those who are different. He withdraws to protect himself. We moved him to a different school because his old one would not provide the resources he needs. Now he can maintain a decent grade point with teachers he respects and likes. His interest in guns is no different from that of other 15-year-old boys in our area, and more importantly, our son has no access to guns. He has a healthy respect for their power.

I admit that impulse control is not his strong point, but we work with him to learn what is appropriate. If you get to know him, you will find a nice kid with a good sense of humor, a passion for history and genuine empathy. He doesn’t like to see others being mistreated, because he knows how it feels.

Thank you, Annie, for saying, “We also hope you can be his friend.” That’s what my son wants more than anything in the world: someone to accept him for who he is.

— A Father Who Knows

————

Annie’s Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column. Please email your questions to [email protected], or write to: Annie’s Mailbox, c/o Creators Syndicate, 737 3rd Street, Hermosa Beach, CA 90254. To find out more about Annie’s Mailbox and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate Web page at www.creators.com.

— Creators Syndicate Inc.

Comments

comments

Special to The Enterprise

.

News

Sheriff: Mother ‘sole person responsible’ for infant’s death

By Lauren Keene | From Page: A1 | Gallery

 
Rifle Team has a blast with competitive shooting

By Savannah Holmes | From Page: A1 | Gallery

Child abduction case in jury’s hands

By Anne Ternus-Bellamy | From Page: A1

 
Pipeline project will soften water in 2016

By Dave Ryan | From Page: A1

Pig out at Farmers Market’s Pig Day

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A1

 
Christie to Republicans: No rush to pick 2016 nominee

By The Associated Press | From Page: A2

Bob Dunning: Colon prep can be hard to swallow

By Bob Dunning | From Page: A2

 
Scouts help fill STEAC’s pantry

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A2

Weekend storm drops snow, rain, hail in California

By The Associated Press | From Page: A2

 
Still no parole in toddler case

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A3

City offers wetlands tour

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A3 | Gallery

 
Parole denied in 1987 killing spree

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A3

Explore Asia at Arboretum storytime

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A3

 
MU Games closing in late March

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A3

Assault awareness campaign kicks off

By Anne Ternus-Bellamy | From Page: A4

 
UCD student with meningococcal disease is recovering

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A4

Young patients bond with special stuffies

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A4 | Gallery

 
Diversity theater group continues creativity workshops

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A4

Radio talk show moves to Mondays

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A4

 
UCD student panel to cover anti-Semitism, Islamophobia

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A6

Yolo Food Bank hosts thank-you breakfast on Pig Day

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A9

 
.

Forum

Milt Priggee cartoon

By Debbie Davis | From Page: B4

 
Rowing: PE as well as life skills

By Letters to the Editor | From Page: B4

Police complaint procedures drafted

By Letters to the Editor | From Page: B4

 
Clarifying energy update letter

By Letters to the Editor | From Page: B4

Weekly claw pickup necessary

By Letters to the Editor | From Page: B4

 
Mars or ISIS? Similar outcome

By Letters to the Editor | From Page: B4

City may get charged up over energy choices

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: B4

 
Speak out

By Enterprise staff | From Page: B5

 
Design innovation centers for the 21st century

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: B5

A new perspective on life

By Creators Syndicate | From Page: A7

 
Distant water crisis has lessons for Davis

By Marion Franck | From Page: A7

Call for study to settle if anesthesia poses risk to babies

By The Associated Press | From Page: A7

 
.

Sports

 
Aggie men get a bounce-back win at Cal Poly

By Enterprise staff | From Page: B1

The mystery continues: lowly Gauchos upset UCD women

By Bruce Gallaudet | From Page: B1 | Gallery

 
Devils get a soccer win despite finishing woes

By Evan Ream | From Page: B1 | Gallery

Winning close games is the key for DHS softballers

By Spencer Ault | From Page: B1 | Gallery

 
Sports briefs: Razo throws well as Aggies get a baseball win

By Enterprise staff | From Page: B2 | Gallery

Defending champion Blue Devils have diamond holes to fill

By Thomas Oide | From Page: B3 | Gallery

 
Republic FC falls to storied New York Cosmos

By Evan Ream | From Page: B10

.

Features

.

Arts

.

Business

Yolo Federal Credit Union honored for supporting business education

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A10

 
Online store will celebrate, mock People’s Republic of Davis

By Wendy Weitzel | From Page: A10 | Gallery

.

Obituaries

.

Comics

Comics: Sunday, March 1, 2015

By Creator | From Page: B8