Tuesday, March 31, 2015
YOLO COUNTY NEWS
99 CENTS

He doesn’t want to grow up

AnniesMailbox

By
From page B5 | March 06, 2013 |

Dear Annie: My boyfriend’s parents are truly wonderful people, but they have taught their son to rely solely on them. He is in his 50s, and they still pay his bills and give him loans, often for “toys” rather than something necessary. I am self-sufficient. I borrow money from no one, pay my bills and am on a limited budget.

I knew my boyfriend was rather self-centered before we moved in together. We discuss nothing about our household, but he talks to his parents about our finances. When they tell him to do something, he complies, even if I am against it.

This is causing problems in our relationship. I am afraid my only option is to leave. I love him, but I feel I could never measure up to his parents, and they will keep him a little boy forever. Our relationship needs to move to the next level, but it is impossible with them hanging on for dear life.

— Frustrated

Dear Frustrated: A man in his 50s who still expects his parents to pay his bills and buy him toys is not a responsible adult, and we cannot promise he ever will be. Unless you can convince him or his parents that their indulgence is not in his best interests, you will be fighting an uphill battle. Sorry.

————

Dear Annie: I am a recovering meth addict. I’ve been clean for more than five years. However, during my druggie days, I was pregnant five times. I miscarried all of the babies due to my addiction. I am very ashamed of my past. Every day, I live with the guilt of what I did to my innocent unborn children.

In the past five years, God has blessed me with two wonderful sons, whom I love more than anything. But how do I deal with the guilt? I have tried talking to friends and family, but I’m judged a lot. It’s eating away at me.

— W.

Dear W.: Please speak to someone who can be impartial about your past and help you deal with your guilt in a way that allows you to forgive yourself. Your doctor can refer you to a counselor, or you could contact any graduate school counseling department, medical school psychology department, United Way, the YMCA, the Samaritan Institute (samaritaninstitute.org) and the Abraham Low Self-Help Systems at lowselfhelpsystems.org.

————

Dear Annie: “K” complained about a neighbor child she fears is “a ticking time bomb.” My son fits nearly every category of her profile. He has difficulty in public and prefers to be by himself. He shows a great interest in guns and has few friends, and we had to move him to a different school because “he didn’t fit in.” This does not make him a potential risk.

My son struggles every day with epilepsy, along with the side effects of several medications. Children his age can be brutal to those who are different. He withdraws to protect himself. We moved him to a different school because his old one would not provide the resources he needs. Now he can maintain a decent grade point with teachers he respects and likes. His interest in guns is no different from that of other 15-year-old boys in our area, and more importantly, our son has no access to guns. He has a healthy respect for their power.

I admit that impulse control is not his strong point, but we work with him to learn what is appropriate. If you get to know him, you will find a nice kid with a good sense of humor, a passion for history and genuine empathy. He doesn’t like to see others being mistreated, because he knows how it feels.

Thank you, Annie, for saying, “We also hope you can be his friend.” That’s what my son wants more than anything in the world: someone to accept him for who he is.

— A Father Who Knows

————

Annie’s Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column. Please email your questions to [email protected], or write to: Annie’s Mailbox, c/o Creators Syndicate, 737 3rd Street, Hermosa Beach, CA 90254. To find out more about Annie’s Mailbox and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate Web page at www.creators.com.

— Creators Syndicate Inc.

Comments

comments

Special to The Enterprise

  • Recent Posts

  • Enter your email address to subscribe to this newspaper and receive notifications of new articles by email.

  • .

    News

    Coroner confirms West Davis deaths were murder-suicide

    By Lauren Keene | From Page: A1 | Gallery

     
    Special playground dedication slated

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A1

     
    Officials say Iran nuke talks will continue in new phase

    By The Associated Press | From Page: A2

    Police: Missing athlete died on freeway

    By The Associated Press | From Page: A2

     
    French eye cockpit entry rules

    By The Associated Press | From Page: A2

    Bob Dunning: Wrap your head around our MRAP need

    By Bob Dunning | From Page: A2

     
    Solo crash kills Woodland man, 22

    By Lauren Keene | From Page: A2

     
    ‘Old Autos’ at Hattie Weber Museum

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A3

    Davis tops list of best schools for the buck

    By Jeff Hudson | From Page: A4

     
    Lenten giving project highlights climate justice

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A4 | Gallery

    DCCNS plans open house April 8

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A4

     
    Parent-child open house previews new Waldorf classes

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A4

    Summer garden alert!

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A4

     
    Davis FFA and ag students host plant sale

    By Anne Ternus-Bellamy | From Page: A4

    Poker tourney benefits DMTC

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A4

     
    Camp Shakespeare begins Saturday

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A4

    Neighbors invited to adopt Willow Creek Park

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A5

     
    Yolo animal shelter seeks donations

    By Lauren Keene | From Page: A5Comments are off for this post

    RSVP for Gerber Young Community Leader reception

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A5

     
    Pence Gallery recruiting volunteers

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A5

    Move over, Muggles

    By Wayne Tilcock | From Page: A5

     
    Tour de Cluck has selected its coops

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A5 | Gallery

    CBH hosts Passover Community Potluck Seder

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A5

     
    City extends nomination period for Huynh Awards

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A5

     
    Parenting class meets Tuesdays

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A5

    Meeting examines Northstar Pond priorities

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A6

     
    Pets of the week

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A7 | Gallery

    .

    Forum

    Maybe he loves the outdoors …

    By Creators Syndicate | From Page: B5

     
    Why can’t we be friends?

    By Creators Syndicate | From Page: B5

    A California comeback for gerrymandering?

    By Tom Elias | From Page: A8

     
    César Chávez’s peaceful civil disobedience forged a great legacy

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A8

    A conversation about power

    By Letters to the Editor | From Page: A8

     
    .

    Sports

    Over the years, The Show has been a reach for Davis

    By Bruce Gallaudet | From Page: B1 | Gallery

     
    UC Davis opens hopeful spring football camp

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: B1

    A very palpable hit

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: B1 | Gallery

     
     
    UCD roundup: Sleiffer seals Aggie tennis victory over Montana

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: B2 | Gallery

    Grizzlies beat Kings to end three-game skid

    By The Associated Press | From Page: B10 | Gallery

     
    Snubbed Temple, returning Stanford highlight NIT semis

    By The Associated Press | From Page: B10

    .

    Features

    .

    Arts

    30 years of dance in Davis with Pamela Trokanski

    By Chloe Lessard | From Page: A1 | Gallery

     
    Dance the night away at house party

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A9

     
    ‘A Year with Frog and Toad’ a delightful family show

    By Bev Sykes | From Page: A9 | Gallery

    Mischief to play at Picnic in the Park

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A9 | Gallery

     
    Yolo Mambo will play at winery

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A9

    Thursday Live! plans a blues party

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A9

     
    Jane Lynch performance rescheduled to August

    By Jeff Hudson | From Page: A9 | Gallery

    Hear some April Fool’s night jazz

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A9

     
    .

    Business

    .

    Obituaries

    .

    Comics

    Comics: Tuesday, March 31, 2015 (set 1)

    By Creator | From Page: B5

     
    Comics: Tuesday, March 31, 2015 (set 2)

    By Creator | From Page: B7