Thursday, October 30, 2014
YOLO COUNTY NEWS
99 CENTS

He feels betrayed by parents

AnniesMailbox

By
From page B5 | October 13, 2013 |

Dear Annie: I am a 36-year-old man. I was in an accident 25 years ago and suffered a mild traumatic brain injury. It was tough growing up. When I was 23, I moved out on my own. This is when the real trouble began. First, I started drinking, and then I abused my medication. In 2002, I wrecked my car while driving intoxicated. The judge told me to go to a brain injury rehab and get my life back in order. I started my first one six months later. I am in my fourth one right now.

My parents became my legal guardians without discussing it with me. After the accident, I received money from a settlement and was assured by the attorney that no one could touch it without my approval. Yet my parents have gone through that money without any input from me. They used it to get their house ready to sell and promised to reimburse me. They sold the place a year ago, and now they have the nerve to say that I gave them the money as a “gift.” I did no such thing. What now?

— J.D.

Dear J.D.: You need to talk to a lawyer. Your parents undoubtedly requested guardianship in order to protect you at a time when you were going through some difficulties. And it’s also possible they expended a great deal of money on your care and rehab and felt that taking the settlement money was somehow justified. The judge who issued the guardianship can be asked to remove it. But in order to get the money back from your parents, you might have to sue them.

————

Dear Annie: I recently lost my wife after many years together. It was an amazing marriage, and I miss her immensely.

I am looking to find a companion. The problem is, my daughter is not in my corner on this issue. How can I reason with her that it’s my life and dating or even marrying again is not being disrespectful to my late wife’s memory?

— Lonely Widower

Dear Widower: How long ago is “recently”? While your dating life is not your daughter’s business, we can understand her concern if your wife died less than six months ago. She may worry that you will rush into an inappropriate or abusive relationship out of loneliness, so please be cautious. Regardless, this is your decision. Please talk to your daughter and assure her that no one will take her mother’s place in your heart, but you miss the companionship and warmth that another person can provide. Explain that it is unfair of her to expect you to remain alone for the rest of your life, and you hope she will someday be happy for you if you find love again.

————

Dear Annie: After reading the letter from “Broken” about her husband’s affair with his father’s hospice nurse, my hair is on fire!

I am a licensed clinical social worker by profession and have been CEO of a large regional hospice for 27 years. In hospice, both the patient and family are one unit of care. Professional boundaries are important. This work is emotional and intimate by its nature. But sexual or personal relationships are never appropriate. Patients and families are in a vulnerable position. The supervision of that nurse and her ethical standards are absolutely unacceptable.

”Broken” should ask for the administrator of that hospice program and make a formal complaint. If she does not get a response or resolution, she should make a complaint to the agency in her state that licenses and regulates hospice providers. She would be doing others a favor by not allowing this kind of behavior to continue. Any hospice that allows such a situation to continue unchecked should not be able to care for patients and their families.

— I Am Appalled

————

Annie’s Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column. Email your questions to anniesmailbox@comcast.net, or write to: Annie’s Mailbox, c/o Creators Syndicate, 737 3rd Street, Hermosa Beach, CA 90254. To find out more about Annie’s Mailbox and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate Web page at www.creators.com.

— Creators Syndicate Inc.

Comments

comments

Special to The Enterprise

  • Recent Posts

  • Enter your email address to subscribe to this newspaper and receive notifications of new articles by email.

  • .

    News

    Central Park’s oak tree deck in limbo

    By Dave Ryan | From Page: A1 | Gallery

     
    Clinton at UCD to get out the vote, stump for locals

    By Tanya Perez | From Page: A1 | Gallery

     
    Defense rests after Gardner’s courtroom complaints

    By Lauren Keene | From Page: A1 | Gallery

    Stockton faces key ruling on bankruptcy

    By The Associated Press | From Page: A2

     
    Pedestrian injured in hit-and-run collision

    By Lauren Keene | From Page: A2

     
    Meet Archer, Poppenga and Sunder

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A3

    UCD prof will speak in Woodland

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A3

     
    Eichorn’s shredding event benefits STEAC

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A3

    All voices welcome at sing-along

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A3

     
    Community forum devoted to returning military personnel

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A3

    Davis Media Access: Treasures from the vault get new life

    By Autumn Labbe-Renault | From Page: A3

     
    Kids ready to trick-or-treat for UNICEF

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A3

     
    Celebrate Day of the Dead on Sunday

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A3

    Yolo Food Bank invites locals to run with the flock

    By Debbie Davis | From Page: A4

     
    ‘The Cooler Bandits’ documentary will be screened in Davis

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A4

    Low-water landscape workshop planned

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A4

     
    Sending ‘Hugs from Home’

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A4 | Gallery

    Yolo RCD welcomes new executive director

    By Elizabeth Case | From Page: A5

     
    Volunteers sought to advocate for kids

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A5

    Sudwerk Ultimator arrives with a vengeance

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A5

     
    .

    Forum

    She has all the leverage

    By Creators Syndicate | From Page: B5

     
    Duo are the best-informed

    By Letters to the Editor | From Page: A8

    Humble and hard-working

    By Letters to the Editor | From Page: A8

     
    Yes on 47 for our safety

    By Letters to the Editor | From Page: A8

     
    Something’s missing

    By Letters to the Editor | From Page: A8

    This is a terrific trio

    By Letters to the Editor | From Page: A8

     
    Elect Poppenga to school board

    By Letters to the Editor | From Page: A8

    .

    Sports

    Something’s got to give as Aggies host UNC

    By Bruce Gallaudet | From Page: B1 | Gallery

     
    Davis vs. Goliath: Devils travel to take on Grant

    By Thomas Oide | From Page: B1

    DHS escapes with a Senior Night victory

    By Thomas Oide | From Page: B1 | Gallery

     
    Aggies hope to turn Gauchos into net zombies

    By Bruce Gallaudet | From Page: B1

    MVP Bumgarner leads Giants to World Series win

    By The Associated Press | From Page: B1 | Gallery

     
    Aggie loss allows Gauchos to tie them for first

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: B2

    Warriors whip Kings in their season opener

    By The Associated Press | From Page: B3

     
    Youth roundup: Diamonds have a ball at Disco-Tech

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: B3 | Gallery

    JV/frosh roundup: Rio falls to DHS boys, who then take fifth at tourney

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: B3 | Gallery

     
    Sports briefs: Double dip for Devil tennis team

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: B8

    .

    Features

    What’s happening

    By Anne Ternus-Bellamy | From Page: A10

     
    College Corner: Going the honors route

    By Jennifer Borenstein | From Page: A10

    Chávez kids are movin’

    By Anne Ternus-Bellamy | From Page: A10 | Gallery

     
    .

    Arts

    Wineaux: Calming and curbing the crouching curmudgeon

    By Susan Leonardi | From Page: A11

     
    Hear Amplified DNA on Saturday at winery

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A11

    Thursday Live! plans jazz and blues

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A11

     
    DMTC plans ‘My Fair Lady’

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A11 | Gallery

    International Film Series continues with ‘Australia’

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A11

     
    All are welcome at Fun Time Follies

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A11

    .

    Business

    .

    Obituaries

    Joseph Francis Gray

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A4

     
    .

    Comics

    Comics: Thursday, October 30, 2014

    By Creator | From Page: A9