Wednesday, March 4, 2015
YOLO COUNTY NEWS
99 CENTS

He’s found more than sympathy

AnniesMailbox

By
From page A10 | August 18, 2013 |

Dear Annie: My husband of 28 years has been having long, intimate text conversations with his father’s hospice nurse for several months while they both are caring for my dying father-in-law. My husband does this for hours every day.

I have told them that I would like one of them to stop working with my father-in-law. Neither has been willing. His whole family is standing behind this relationship and feels the two of them are wonderful for each other and a new start would be great because both are in “loveless” marriages.

It is clear to me that they want to be together. They have expressed deep love for each other and have been intimate. I am brokenhearted and want out. My marriage has always been stressful and occasionally abusive. We were hanging in there, but by a string. This just seals the deal.

Today, one sister is going to ask the nurse to step down. I no longer care and plan to move on. Should I be honest and tell them to just keep her there, since I no longer wish to continue in this marriage? I actually feel it would be best for everyone.

— Broken Beyond Repair in Ontario

Dear Broken: Then go right ahead. Your marriage is not healthy, and it sounds like it hasn’t been for a long time. We never recommend that people stay with abusers. If you would be happier without this man in your life, then let him go.

We can assure you, however, that relationships that occur during an emotionally trying time often don’t last when the situation resolves itself. When your father-in-law no longer needs this type of care, your husband may discover that his passion for the nurse has dissipated. And we won’t get into the ethics of a hospice nurse carrying on with a married family member. Shame on both of them.

————

Dear Annie: My husband and I got a new puppy a week ago. She’s very smart and already mostly housetrained. She is a little toy breed, tiny, fuzzy and cute with a funny personality.

The problem is, everyone who sees her wants to pet her and pick her up without asking us whether that’s OK. We love her and understand her appeal, but we are still in the process of training her. Having all of these strangers come by is distracting and could cause her to regress. After someone picks her up, it takes a very long time for her to calm down and be able to poop.

How do I tell these people, “Yes, she is very cute and sweet, but she needs to do her business right now, so could you leave her alone?” I don’t want to offend anybody, but this time is crucial to her training.

— Working On It

Dear Working: You could reword that just a bit and get your point across nicely. Put a friendly smile on your face and tell them, “Please don’t pick her up. We’re in the process of training her. She may become overly excited and could have an accident in your arms. If you can wait until she’s finished, she’ll be delighted by your attentions.”

————

Dear Annie: “Wondering in Clinton Township” thought it strange that her sister objects to mail addressed to “Aunt Frances.” From the time I knew how to send letters (of thanks and of conversation), I addressed those letters to “Grandma and Grandpa,” ”Aunt Carolyn” and “Uncle Bill.”

I’m in my 30s now, and I still address letters and packages home to “Mom and Dad,” and correspondence to my brothers is sent to “The Future Doctor” and to “Josh’s Dad.” Letters and cards are personal things, and there’s no reason that the address cannot be as personal as the sender and recipient would be in a face-to-face conversation.

— Longview, Wash.

————

Annie’s Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column. Email your questions to [email protected], or write to: Annie’s Mailbox, c/o Creators Syndicate, 737 3rd Street, Hermosa Beach, CA 90254. To find out more about Annie’s Mailbox and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate Web page at www.creators.com.

— Creators Syndicate Inc.

Comments

comments

Special to The Enterprise

  • Recent Posts

  • Enter your email address to subscribe to this newspaper and receive notifications of new articles by email.

  • .

    News

    Davisite competing for breast cancer ‘Survivor of the Year’

    By Anne Ternus-Bellamy | From Page: A1 | Gallery

     
    Cool musicians, hot jazz at Coconut Grove fundraiser

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A1 | Gallery

     
    Guilty verdict in child abduction case

    By Anne Ternus-Bellamy | From Page: A1

     
    UC will freeze resident admissions

    By The Associated Press | From Page: A2

    Bob Dunning: Aggies still have all to play for

    By Bob Dunning | From Page: A2

     
    State’s snow levels reach historic lows

    By San Francisco Chronicle | From Page: A2 | Gallery

    Moore featured at two climate talks this week

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A3

     
    Talk breast cancer with oncologic surgeon

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A3

    DPNS offers open house Saturday

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A3

     
    Public input sought Monday on Northstar Pond

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A3 | Gallery

    Documentary on immigration issues will be screened

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A3

     
    Veggie gardening, composting are workshop topics

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A3

    Visiting prof will discuss Armenian genocide

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A3

     
    Holmes plans open house Thursday

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A3

    Nominees sought for Bill Streng Business Award

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A3

     
    Museum brick sales to end this month

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A3

    Prostate cancer group looks at massage

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A3

     
    Closing education gap will lift economy, a study finds

    By New York Times News Service | From Page: A4 | Gallery

    Applications due for Rotary’s leadership camp

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A4

     
    Project Linus meets March 11

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A4

    Breakfast with the Bunny tickets on sale now

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A5 | Gallery

     
    .

    Forum

    Snowbird sings the song he always sings

    By Creators Syndicate | From Page: B5

     
    Low-flow toilets in our parks?

    By Letters to the Editor | From Page: A6

    It was music to our ears

    By Letters to the Editor | From Page: A6

     
    Thanks for pet drive support

    By Letters to the Editor | From Page: A6

    Story was an ad for NRA

    By Letters to the Editor | From Page: A6

     
    Athletes just want time to do their homework

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A6

    Let’s not delete Giovanni Barovetto from Davis history

    By Rich Rifkin | From Page: A6 | Gallery

     
    .

    Sports

    After a shaky start, DHS stands up to No. 4 St. Mary’s, but loses

    By Bruce Gallaudet | From Page: B1 | Gallery

     
    DHS girls lacrosse coach likes her 2015 squad

    By Dylan Lee | From Page: B1 | Gallery

    Hawkins enters the home stretch of brilliant UCD career

    By Bruce Gallaudet | From Page: B1 | Gallery

     
    Blue Devils girls stay undefeated ahead of league opener

    By Evan Ream | From Page: B1 | Gallery

    Sports briefs: Blue Devils drop softball opener

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: B3

     
    Cousins returns to lift Kings in New York

    By The Associated Press | From Page: B3 | Gallery

    San Jose crushes Canucks behind Nieto

    By The Associated Press | From Page: B3

     
    .

    Features

    Ringing in the Year of the Sheep with dim sum

    By Ann Evans | From Page: A8 | Gallery

     
    .

    Arts

     
    French-Algerian guitarist weaves acoustic spells at The Palms on Friday March 6

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A7 | Gallery

    California Honeydrops drop in for ‘Down Home’ tour

    By Landon Christensen | From Page: A7 | Gallery

     
    .

    Business

    .

    Obituaries

    Merna Petersen

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A4

     
    .

    Comics

    Comics: Wednesday, March 4, 2015

    By Creator | From Page: B6