Wednesday, April 16, 2014

He’s lost that lovin’ feeling


Dear Annie: My husband and I have been married for only 18 months. Things were blissful for the first year, and then things took a drastic change. One day, he told me he has lost the “in love” feeling.

Apparently, he had felt animosity for some time, but I had no idea. He chose to hold his emotions in, and over time, the result was that he stopped loving me. He now spends four days a week with friends and comes home past midnight. I don’t believe he is cheating. When he was single, he chose to live a sheltered life.

My husband is aware that his behavior is extreme. Could this be a midlife crisis, even though he is only 36? How can I help him through this stage?

— Newlywed Blues

Dear Newlywed: Every married couple has a period of adjustment, but we think there is more to your husband’s story than what he is telling you. You cannot expect his behavior to improve on its own. Unless he is willing to be honest and address what is wrong, there is unlikely to be any change in your relationship.

Counseling could help get to the bottom of it, provided your husband is cooperative. If not, please decide whether you want to remain in this marriage, because what is going on may not get better, and even if it does, this type of sudden coldness could happen repeatedly if the two of you do not learn to communicate more clearly.


Dear Annie: You often suggest that family members try to work out their differences if there is an estrangement. But there are two sides to every story.

My husband and I were treated horrendously by a family member, and every relative allowed it to continue even though they were fully aware of the pain it caused us. The stress was constant and created physical as well as emotional issues. After trying to work it out, we finally made the painful decision to separate ourselves from this part of the family.

Just because you are related to someone does not mean you have to allow yourself to be abused or bullied. It is frustrating to read letters from those who “don’t know why Betty won’t speak to the family.” I’m sure many of them know perfectly well why. They simply choose not to acknowledge the part they may have played in Betty’s decision.

— Tired of Being the Bad Guys

Dear Tired: In many instances, this is true. People put their heads in the sand when it is too complicated to look around and shake things up. We usually suggest people make an effort to see whether family relationships can be repaired. But we don’t expect anyone to tolerate horrible behavior that won’t change. You made the effort. It didn’t work. You then did what was necessary for your mental and physical health.


Dear Annie: I had to laugh when I read the letter from “Perplexed in Pennsylvania,” who is upset that her best friend keeps forgetting her birthday. That could be me. It could also be my best friend.

You see, in today’s world, we sometimes get too busy to stop and smell the roses and remember the birthdays of those we care about. It certainly doesn’t mean we care any less. I sometimes forget the birthdays of my own children and siblings. I may remember several days in advance and then forget on the actual day and feel sorry afterward. But it’s not the end of the world.

Every now and then, my friends and I have a special lunch together to celebrate our friendship. We do not exchange gifts, because we all have more “things” than we need. A fun card is just that, and it’s good at any time. “Perplexed” should think of what she can do for herself on her special day.

— One Who Knows in Oklahoma


Annie’s Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column. Email your questions to, or write to: Annie’s Mailbox, c/o Creators Syndicate, 737 3rd Street, Hermosa Beach, CA 90254. To find out more about Annie’s Mailbox and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate Web page at

— Creators Syndicate Inc.

Special to The Enterprise


Discussion | No comments

The Davis Enterprise does not necessarily condone the comments here, nor does it review every post. Read our full policy

  • Recent Posts

  • Enter your email address to subscribe to this newspaper and receive notifications of new articles by email.

  • .


    Frank, Peterman, Davis Bicycles! get us from here to there

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A1 | Gallery

    Home building up in March after frigid winter

    By The Associated Press | From Page: A2

    Davis elder-abuse case wraps up

    By Lauren Keene | From Page: A2

    Alleged serial killings highlight GPS limits

    By The Associated Press | From Page: A2

    Local professor subdues unruly man on flight

    By Adrian Glass-Moore | From Page: A3

    Family fiction in miniature showcased at bookstore event

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A3 | Gallery

    Meditation, Buddhism classes offered

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A4

    Seniors can get tips for getting around town

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A4

    School has garden plots for rent

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A4

    Sugar overload, on ‘Davisville’

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A4

    Rotarians, students, teachers, parents collaborate on planter boxes

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A4 | Gallery

    Yolo Crisis Nursery is in crisis; please help

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A4

    Check out the night sky

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A5 | Gallery

    Hop to it: Easter Bunny meets Davis history tour

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A5

    Garden doctor: Veggie gardening available year-round

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A5

    Animal expert explains dogs’ thinking

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A5

    Central Park Gardens to host Volunteer Orientation Day

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A7 | Gallery

    Are we there yet?: Self-reflections of a would-be stage mom

    By Tanya Perez | From Page: A8Comments are off for this post



    Still supporting this guy

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: B5

    Urban forest under siege

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A6, 2 Comments

    Drought care for our trees

    By Letters to the Editor | From Page: A6, 1 Comment

    Tom Meyer cartoon

    By Debbie Davis | From Page: A6



    UCD staff allows 19 hits in Causeway rout

    By Bruce Gallaudet | From Page: B1 | Gallery

    DHS softball struggles in nonleague outing

    By Spencer Ault | From Page: B1 | Gallery

    Devils open Boras Classic by splitting games

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: B1 | Gallery

    JV/frosh roundup: DHS sweeps a trio of baseball games

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: B2 | Gallery

    Baseball roundup: River Cats get by Grizzlies at Raley

    By The Associated Press | From Page: B3

    Giants beat L.A. in 12

    By The Associated Press | From Page: B3

    Sports briefs: Stanford sends Aggies home with a lacrosse loss

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: B8 | Gallery





    Craft Center exhibit explores ‘Possibilities’

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A9

    RootStock to host wine themed plein aire exhibit

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A9

    The California Honeydrops to bring danceable groove to The Palms

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A9 | Gallery

    See Flower Power exhibit at Gallery 625

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A9 | Gallery

    Red Union Blue inks record deal

    By Landon Christensen | From Page: A9 | Gallery







    Comics: Wednesday, April 16, 2014

    By Creator | From Page: B6