Friday, April 17, 2015
YOLO COUNTY NEWS
99 CENTS

He’s ready to move on, why isn’t she?

AnniesMailbox

Dear Annie: Five years ago (after 20 years of marriage), my wife and I separated because she found out that I had been regularly indulging in phone sex and that I had slept with another woman. In addition, I’d made constant demands of her for sex.

When she asked me to leave, I was determined to completely change my life. I sought help and was clinically diagnosed as a sex addict. I entered a 12-step program and had intensive therapy, read voraciously and, with the help of God, turned my life around. When I briefly lost my job some years ago, my wife let me move back into our home, but not into our bedroom.

Since then, we have slowly rebuilt trust to the point where we date, cuddle and even sleep in the same bed. We share our lives and regularly see a couples therapist. She tells me she can see how I’ve changed, and that she admires the work I’ve done. Despite all of this, however, she has repeatedly said that she does not believe she will ever be willing to have sex with me again. She refuses to discuss the matter, even in therapy. She sees a therapist on her own, but says that working on becoming intimate with me is not a priority.

I would like to keep our family together, but I don’t know how I can continue in a relationship where sex isn’t even allowed to be discussed. Can people have a healthy relationship without sex? It feels like our relationship is incomplete. What can I do?

— Loveless and Discouraged

Dear Loveless: Married couples can have a good relationship without sex, but only if both partners agree to it. We commend you for doing the necessary work to salvage your marriage. Unfortunately, your wife still may not trust you entirely, or she may simply be uninterested in intimacy. She also may feel that she put up with your philandering for 20 years, so you should give her however much time she needs. There has, in fact, been progress, albeit more slowly than you’d like. Intimacy and communication are things you should be working on in couples therapy. Please bring both of these issues up at your next session.

————

Dear Annie: I’m a 13-year-old girl. Last night, my mom and I decided to watch a movie together at home. My mom was tired from a long, stressful week worrying about my sick uncle. She fell asleep toward the beginning of the movie.

I am just wondering if there is a proper etiquette about falling asleep during a movie.

— Sleepy in Indiana

Dear Sleepy: Some things can’t be helped. It’s perfectly OK to fall asleep during a movie, provided the snoring doesn’t disturb your companion. We’re sure Mom would have enjoyed staying up with you had she been able. Since she fell asleep so early in the film, you could have watched it alone or turned it off, tucked her in and watched it another time when she was more fully awake.

————

Dear Annie: This is in response to “Begging for Mummy and Daddy.” My daughter started using drugs as a teenager. She got sober for quite a few years, and then she lost it again. At 29, she passed away from a heroin overdose, leaving behind two children, 3 and 9.

Please, parents, support your children, brothers, sisters and grandchildren any way you can while they battle this addiction. This is an epidemic in our country. We live in a small town of 2,400 people, and it still reached us.

— Raising Grandchildren in Wisconsin

————

Annie’s Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column. Email your questions to [email protected], or write to: Annie’s Mailbox, c/o Creators Syndicate, 737 3rd Street, Hermosa Beach, CA 90254. To find out more about Annie’s Mailbox and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate Web page at www.creators.com.

— Creators Syndicate Inc.

Comments

comments

Special to The Enterprise

  • Recent Posts

  • Enter your email address to subscribe to this newspaper and receive notifications of new articles by email.

  • .

    News

    Psychedelic rock posters recall 1960s concerts

    By Jeff Hudson | From Page: A1 | Gallery

     
    UCD study: Crickets not enough to feed the world just yet

    By Kathy Keatley Garvey | From Page: A1

    It’ll be a perfect day for a picnic — and lots more

    By Tanya Perez | From Page: A1 | Gallery

     
    Turning a mess into olive oil success

    By Dave Jones | From Page: A1 | Gallery

    UCD expands emergency notification service

    By Julia Ann Easley | From Page: A2

     
    California vaccine bill stalls; will come back next week

    By The Associated Press | From Page: A2

    Cities: California water reduction order unrealistic, unfair

    By The Associated Press | From Page: A2

     
    Bob Dunning: Chasing criminals and water-wasters

    By Bob Dunning | From Page: A2

    Enjoy a chemistry bang on Picnic Day

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A3

     
    Start your Picnic Day with pancakes

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A3

    Local students to perform at fundraising concert

    By Jeff Hudson | From Page: A3 | Gallery

     
    CA House hosts crepe breakfast

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A3

    Doxie Derby crowns the winning wiener

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A3

     
    Fundraiser benefits Ugandan women

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A3

    See pups at Picnic Day

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A4 | Gallery

     
    Davis poet will read his work at library

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A4

    Free blood pressure screenings offered

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A4Comments are off for this post

     
    Rotary Club hosts whisky tasting

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A4

    Ribs and Rotary benefits local charities

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A4

     
    Dodd plans fundraising barbecue in Davis

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A4

    Soroptimists set date for golf tourney

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A4

     
    Socks collected for homeless veterans

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A4

    Council will present environmental awards Tuesday

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A5

     
    Invention and upcycling to be honored at Square Tomatoes Fair

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A5

     
    Take a peek at Putah Creek on daylong tour

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A5 | Gallery

    Pence Gallery Garden Tour tickets on sale

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A5

     
    UC Davis Circle K Club wins awards at district convention

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A6

    Davis authors featured at writing conference in Stockton

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A6

     
    Sign up soon for Davis history tour

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A6 | Gallery

    Campus firearms bill passes Senate committee

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A6

     
    Emerson featured at photography program

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A6

    Portuguese influence in Yolo County detailed

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A6

     
    Concert and dance party celebrate KDRT’s 10 years on the air

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A7 | Gallery

     
    Survival skills to be taught at preserve

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A9

    .

    Forum

    The new one puts her foot down

    By Creators Syndicate | From Page: B5

     
    Tom Meyer cartoon

    By Debbie Davis | From Page: A8

    It’s time to fight for California’s jobs

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A8

     
    Future leaders give back

    By Letters to the Editor | From Page: A8

     
    Know where your gift is going

    By Letters to the Editor | From Page: A8

    Pipeline veto a good move

    By Letters to the Editor | From Page: A8

     
    Artists offer heartfelt thanks

    By Letters to the Editor | From Page: A8

    .

    Sports

    DHS boys drop another Delta League match

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: B1 | Gallery

     
    Aggie women ready to host (win?) Big West golf tourney

    By Bruce Gallaudet | From Page: B1

    New strength coach hopes to stem UCD football injury tide

    By Bruce Gallaudet | From Page: B1 | Gallery

     
    Herd has too much for Devil softballers

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: B1

    Les, AD Gould talk about the Aggie coach’s future

    By Bruce Gallaudet | From Page: B1

     
    UCD roundup: Quintet of Aggie gymnasts honored for academics

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: B2 | Gallery

     
    River Cats fall to Las Vegas

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: B12

     
    Diamondbacks defeat Giants in 12 innings

    By The Associated Press | From Page: B12 | Gallery

    .

    Features

    DSF kicks off 10th anniversary celebration at the carousel

    By Anne Ternus-Bellamy | From Page: B5

     
    Many summer enrichment opportunities available for students

    By Anne Ternus-Bellamy | From Page: B5

     
    What’s happening

    By Anne Ternus-Bellamy | From Page: B5

    .

    Arts

    ‘True Story:’ In their dreams

    By Derrick Bang | From Page: A10 | Gallery

     
    ‘Once’ an unforgetable celebration of music, relationships

    By Bev Sykes | From Page: A11 | Gallery

     
    .

    Business

    Honda shows off new Civic at New York show

    By The Associated Press | From Page: B3

     
    .

    Obituaries

    Ruth Rodenbeck Stumpf

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A4

     
    Robert Leigh Cordrey

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A4

    .

    Comics

    Comics: Friday, April 17, 2015

    By Creator | From Page: B10