Tuesday, September 2, 2014
YOLO COUNTY NEWS
99 CENTS

He’s ready to move on, why isn’t she?

AnniesMailbox

Dear Annie: Five years ago (after 20 years of marriage), my wife and I separated because she found out that I had been regularly indulging in phone sex and that I had slept with another woman. In addition, I’d made constant demands of her for sex.

When she asked me to leave, I was determined to completely change my life. I sought help and was clinically diagnosed as a sex addict. I entered a 12-step program and had intensive therapy, read voraciously and, with the help of God, turned my life around. When I briefly lost my job some years ago, my wife let me move back into our home, but not into our bedroom.

Since then, we have slowly rebuilt trust to the point where we date, cuddle and even sleep in the same bed. We share our lives and regularly see a couples therapist. She tells me she can see how I’ve changed, and that she admires the work I’ve done. Despite all of this, however, she has repeatedly said that she does not believe she will ever be willing to have sex with me again. She refuses to discuss the matter, even in therapy. She sees a therapist on her own, but says that working on becoming intimate with me is not a priority.

I would like to keep our family together, but I don’t know how I can continue in a relationship where sex isn’t even allowed to be discussed. Can people have a healthy relationship without sex? It feels like our relationship is incomplete. What can I do?

— Loveless and Discouraged

Dear Loveless: Married couples can have a good relationship without sex, but only if both partners agree to it. We commend you for doing the necessary work to salvage your marriage. Unfortunately, your wife still may not trust you entirely, or she may simply be uninterested in intimacy. She also may feel that she put up with your philandering for 20 years, so you should give her however much time she needs. There has, in fact, been progress, albeit more slowly than you’d like. Intimacy and communication are things you should be working on in couples therapy. Please bring both of these issues up at your next session.

————

Dear Annie: I’m a 13-year-old girl. Last night, my mom and I decided to watch a movie together at home. My mom was tired from a long, stressful week worrying about my sick uncle. She fell asleep toward the beginning of the movie.

I am just wondering if there is a proper etiquette about falling asleep during a movie.

— Sleepy in Indiana

Dear Sleepy: Some things can’t be helped. It’s perfectly OK to fall asleep during a movie, provided the snoring doesn’t disturb your companion. We’re sure Mom would have enjoyed staying up with you had she been able. Since she fell asleep so early in the film, you could have watched it alone or turned it off, tucked her in and watched it another time when she was more fully awake.

————

Dear Annie: This is in response to “Begging for Mummy and Daddy.” My daughter started using drugs as a teenager. She got sober for quite a few years, and then she lost it again. At 29, she passed away from a heroin overdose, leaving behind two children, 3 and 9.

Please, parents, support your children, brothers, sisters and grandchildren any way you can while they battle this addiction. This is an epidemic in our country. We live in a small town of 2,400 people, and it still reached us.

— Raising Grandchildren in Wisconsin

————

Annie’s Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column. Email your questions to anniesmailbox@comcast.net, or write to: Annie’s Mailbox, c/o Creators Syndicate, 737 3rd Street, Hermosa Beach, CA 90254. To find out more about Annie’s Mailbox and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate Web page at www.creators.com.

— Creators Syndicate Inc.

Comments

comments

Special to The Enterprise

.

News

 
Davis is not immune: Are you ready for a big quake?

By Dave Ryan | From Page: A1 | Gallery

 
Planning begins for Davis Neighbors’ Night Out

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A1

Sword-attack suspect awaiting trial in Davis

By Lauren Keene | From Page: A2

 
6 militants killed in U.S. strike in Somalia

By The Associated Press | From Page: A2 | Gallery

San Francisco is first to test urban farming law

By The Associated Press | From Page: A2

 
Learn about RNA at Science Café

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A3

 
Google Glass will be discussed, demonstrated

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A3

Tickets still available for DHS Hall of Fame dinner

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A3

 
Cuddle up at Project Linus’ meeting

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A3

Public opinion sought about Nishi Gateway

By Lily Holmes | From Page: A3

 
International folk dancing offered Sundays

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A3

Got bikes? Donate ‘em!

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A3

 
Rose garden bricks to be dedicated Saturday

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A3

It’s About Time plays Davis Farmers Market’s Picnic in the Park

By Anthony Siino | From Page: A3 | Gallery

 
Register year-round at Davis Chinese School

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A8

 
.

Forum

Tom Meyer cartoon

By Debbie Davis | From Page: A4

 
Have the facts before you judge

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A4

Tesla has state walking a tightrope

By Tom Elias | From Page: A4

 
Special-needs passengers ignored

By Letters to the Editor | From Page: A4

A cure for Davis’ problems

By Letters to the Editor | From Page: A4

 
A good use for the MRAP

By Letters to the Editor | From Page: A4

Marriage vs. male instinct

By Creators Syndicate | From Page: B5

 
.

Sports

DHS boys looking to replicate a big cross country performance

By Spencer Ault | From Page: B1 | Gallery

 
Life without MacDonald starts Friday for DHS

By Thomas Oide | From Page: B1 | Gallery

Clark recalls his hole-in-one — the first at Davis Golf Course

By Bruce Gallaudet | From Page: B1 | Gallery

 
Fruits of their Labor Day

By Sue Cockrell | From Page: B1 | Gallery

 
UCD roundup: Aggies edge Quinnipiac in overtime

By Enterprise staff | From Page: B2

Sports briefs: Hot Shots basketball tryouts coming up

By Enterprise staff | From Page: B3

 
Baseball roundup: Aces end River Cats’ season

By Staff and wire reports | From Page: B3

Junior Blue Devils strong in home debut, winning 3 on the field

By Enterprise staff | From Page: B8 | Gallery

 
.

Features

.

Arts

.

Business

.

Obituaries

Elaine Dracia Greenberg

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A5

 
.

Comics

Comics: Tuesday, September 2, 2014 (set 1)

By Creator | From Page: B5

 
Comics: Tuesday, September 2, 2014 (set 2)

By Creator | From Page: B7