Thursday, October 23, 2014
YOLO COUNTY NEWS
99 CENTS

Hey, as long as the golf’s good

AnniesMailbox

By
From page B5 | April 21, 2013 |

Dear Annie: I’m a 70-year-old woman, still attractive and athletic. I have been dating “Sam,” age 74, for nearly three years. When we met online, I clearly stated that I wanted to get married in the near future and that I had three cats and wanted a man who loves animals.

Sam is a nice, educated man. He treats me well, and we do a lot of different things. However, he still talks with his ex-wife and ex-girlfriend regularly. He says his ex-girlfriend is lonely and has a sad life. I could deal with that, but his ex-wife was the “love of his life.” He says they have a lot in common and she is fun to talk to. Occasionally, they see each other. I don’t like it, and neither does her boyfriend.

Sam is a great guy in many ways, but I am having a hard time adjusting to this. He insists that his ex is in his past, but isn’t talking to someone on the phone every other week considered a current relationship?

The other problem is that Sam is not nice to my cats. He treats them coldly, and this hurts me. Should I just ignore this? We do go to a lot of places and have fun, and we both love playing golf.

— Sad in California

Dear Sad: You have unrealistic expectations about Sam. He enjoys your company, but he’s not ready to settle down. He wants the freedom to stay in touch with his exes, he doesn’t much care for cats, and he’s not interested in marriage. There is nothing wrong with accepting Sam as he is and enjoying the fun times you have together. Otherwise, please stop trying to turn him into Mr. Right, and look for a man who better meets your requirements.

————

Dear Annie: I was hospitalized with pneumonia and then diagnosed with COPD and atrial fibrillation, for which I was put on daily meds. I am also diabetic. I am now home and taking breathing treatments and allergy shots, plus my normal heart and COPD meds. I find that I cannot tolerate strong smells: perfume, paint, fireplaces, scented candles, etc.

The problem is my husband, “Carl.” He is a smoker. He had a heart attack several years ago, and we both quit at that time. I haven’t had a cigarette since, but he started up again. He doesn’t smoke in the house, but he cannot get it through his head that when he comes in after smoking, he still has a strong cigarette odor, and I frequently have severe coughing attacks, shortness of breath and chest pain. He apologizes, but won’t quit.

My doctor has suggested several options to help Carl quit, but nothing has an effect. I know my future includes being on oxygen. I am 65, and these constant attacks are wearing me down. We’ve been married for 25 years, and I love Carl. I have a difficult time thinking that he’s so selfish. Any suggestions?

— He Just Doesn’t Care

Dear Doesn’t Care: We think Carl cares, but he’s so addicted to tobacco that he’s unable to contemplate quitting. First, ask Carl if you can go with him to speak to his doctor. Then consider an area of the house where Carl can change his clothes and/or shower before being around you. He also can try electronic cigarettes, which still pose a health risk, but his clothes won’t reek as much. But if Carl refuses to protect you from his addiction, one of you may need to leave in order for you to maintain your health. Sorry.

————

Dear Annie: I read the letter from “Heartbroken,” whose daughter committed suicide and whose mother is unsympathetic. The only people who truly understand what it is to lose a child are other parents who have.

Thank you for suggesting The Compassionate Friends (compassionatefriends.org). It is a beautiful organization filled with parents who care. We will give her the hugs and compassion she needs.

— Green Bay, Wis.

————

Annie’s Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column. Email your questions to anniesmailbox@comcast.net, or write to: Annie’s Mailbox, c/o Creators Syndicate, 737 3rd Street, Hermosa Beach, CA 90254. To find out more about Annie’s Mailbox and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate Web page at www.creators.com.

— Creators Syndicate Inc.

Comments

comments

Special to The Enterprise

.

News

 
Versatile cycling contributor Casale Jr. heads to Hall of Fame

By Bruce Gallaudet | From Page: A1 | Gallery

 
Pioneer students meet K-9 Officer Dexter

By Anne Ternus-Bellamy | From Page: A1 | Gallery

UCD Vet Med hosts animal ‘adoptathon’

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A3

 
Arboretum plant sale is Saturday

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A3

Mercer Clinic benefits from pooch costume pics

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A3

 
Military Families seek help to send Hugs from Home

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A3

High-flying fun at University Airport

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A3 | Gallery

 
Day of the Dead observance focuses on refugee children

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A3

DPNS has play group, preschool openings

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A3

 
Parents’ Night Out on Friday at Pole Line Baptist

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A3

Fly-casting champion will speak to fishing enthusiasts

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A4 | Gallery

 
Flea Market planned Sunday

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A4

Carlton invites community to its Haunted Harvest

By Debbie Davis | From Page: A4

 
Day of the Dead folk art class set

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A4

Check out classic cars once again

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A4

 
A nose for mysteries: ‘Cadaver dog’ work more accepted by cops, courts

By The Associated Press | From Page: A4 | Gallery

‘Bak2Sac’ free train ride program launched

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A5

 
Cooperatives meet community needs

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A6

Co-op trivia

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A7

 
Author visits Woodland for community book project

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A9

.

Forum

We have confidence in Madhavi

By Letters to the Editor | From Page: B4

 
I support John Garamendi

By Letters to the Editor | From Page: B4

Knowledgeable, experienced

By Letters to the Editor | From Page: B4

 
A leader our schools deserve

By Letters to the Editor | From Page: B4

We need Sunder on board

By Letters to the Editor | From Page: B4

 
Our view: Two more years for Garamendi

By Our View | From Page: B4

We support Archer, Adams

By Letters to the Editor | From Page: B4

 
Tom Meyer cartoon

By Debbie Davis | From Page: B4

A force for good on board

By Letters to the Editor | From Page: B4

 
Two are especially qualified

By Letters to the Editor | From Page: B4

.

Sports

Blue Devils look for first home victory

By Thomas Oide | From Page: B1

 
Picture perfect: DHS field hockey finishes 14-0

By Enterprise staff | From Page: B1 | Gallery

Davis tennis team takes title

By Enterprise staff | From Page: B1 | Gallery

 
Devil soccer loss sets up important final week

By Enterprise staff | From Page: B2

Youth roundup: Hurricanes handle American River twice in one day

By Enterprise staff | From Page: B3 | Gallery

 
JV/frosh roundup: DHS underclassmen shine in water polo events

By Enterprise staff | From Page: B3 | Gallery

 
.

Features

What’s happening

By Anne Ternus-Bellamy | From Page: A8

 
Hand sanitizer versus soap and water

By Anne Ternus-Bellamy | From Page: A8

Girl Scouts join effort to keep kids healthy

By Anne Ternus-Bellamy | From Page: A8 | Gallery

 
Name Droppers: Foster parent heads to First 5

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A12

.

Arts

If it can go wrong it will go wrong

By Michael Lewis | From Page: A10

 
San Francisco Symphony visits with conductor/pianist Zacharias

By Jeff Hudson | From Page: A10 | Gallery

 
All are welcome at Fun Time Follies

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A11

 
DHS Madrigals host singing workshop

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A11

DMTC plans Halloween karaoke fundraiser

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A11

 
The Rhythm Future Quartet plays at Village Homes Community Center

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A11 | Gallery

Jam with folk musicians on Friday

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A11

 
DHS Madrigals plan traditional English winter celebration

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A11

 
‘Under the Covers’ concert benefits KDRT

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A11

 
.

Business

.

Obituaries

Dorothy Foytik

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A4

 
Mariana Brumbaugh Henwood

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A4

.

Comics

Comics: Thursday, October 23, 2014

By Creator | From Page: B10