Thursday, October 2, 2014
YOLO COUNTY NEWS
99 CENTS

How to deal with the brat

AnniesMailbox

By
From page B5 | January 29, 2013 |

Dear Annie: Normally I’m good at minding my own business, but when I see how my granddaughter, “Susie,” manipulates her mother (my daughter), I feel the urge to say something.

Susie is almost 12 and seems to be testing the limits in ways I would never have tolerated. She sasses her mother and dominates the conversation at the dinner table. When told to clear away her dirty dishes, she instead goes to the cupboard for a snack. Her discarded clothes are in every room of the house. When told to get ready for school, she turns on the TV. The bathroom floor is cluttered with whatever she tossed there. She even “forgets” to flush the toilet!

My daughter, with incredible patience, sees this behavior as typical for her age. I see Susie as a brat testing her power. Her father says little and makes himself scarce. I’m concerned that a child who should be learning habits that will serve her well in adulthood seems to have no more discipline than a toddler. My daughter, a teacher, insists she knows what she’s doing. So far I’ve kept my mouth shut. What do you advise?

— Frustrated Granny

Dear Frustrated: When Susie is in your home, you can instruct her to pick up her clothes, turn off the TV, flush the toilet (heavens!) and clear her plate. Her behavior is not “typical.” It is excessive. While many 12-year-olds will test the limits of what Mom and Dad will tolerate, it doesn’t mean parents should shrug their shoulders and give up. The more the parents accept the more Susie will push. To Susie, if her parents don’t demand anything, it means they don’t care about her. The most you can do is suggest that your daughter discuss Susie’s behavior with her pediatrician, school counselor or a child psychologist for reassurance that she’s handling things in the best possible way.

————

Dear Annie: My friend “George” has a neighbor who is always watching. This neighbor peeks out from her curtains, apparently thinking no one can see her. If she is sitting outside, she listens in on George’s conversations. If George makes the slightest noise, she will instantly look to see what’s going on.

This neighbor also gossips with the surrounding neighbors. She is incredibly nosey and kind of bizarre. Any ideas about behavior like this?

— Canada

Dear Canada: Sure. The neighbor is lonely, curious, bored and gossipy. George is likely one of many neighbors who provide something potentially interesting for her to focus on. She may be annoying, but she also is the same neighbor who will notice if someone tries to break into George’s house. She’s harmless. If you are feeling expansive, the next time you visit George, the two of you could stop by her house and say hello. Bring her some cookies. You’ll make her day.

————

Dear Annie: “Can’t Wait To Share New Home” said they are about to host their first housewarming party. They asked whether they should register for things they want and include the information on the invitations. You said they shouldn’t register, but if people should ask, they can make suggestions.

Seriously? Aren’t other people supposed to host these parties for you?

— Incredulous on Cape Cod

Dear Incredulous: Actually, no. A housewarming is one type of party that you are supposed to host yourself to welcome your friends and family to your new abode and show it off. Registering is inappropriate, as is mentioning gifts on an invitation. But there is nothing wrong with making suggestions to those who ask and who are likely to bring you something anyway.

————

Annie’s Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column. Email your questions to anniesmailbox@comcast.net, or write to: Annie’s Mailbox, c/o Creators Syndicate, 737 3rd Street, Hermosa Beach, CA 90254. To find out more about Annie’s Mailbox and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate Web page at www.creators.com.

— Creators Syndicate Inc.

Comments

comments

Special to The Enterprise

  • Recent Posts

  • Enter your email address to subscribe to this newspaper and receive notifications of new articles by email.

  • .

    News

     
    Sunder wants to expand opportunities for all

    By Jeff Hudson | From Page: A1

     
    At Davis intersections, let’s be careful out there

    By Kim Orendor | From Page: C2 | Gallery

     
    Sunder supporters gather on Sunday

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A3

    Trokanski discusses new project on ‘Davisville’

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A3

     
    Learn more about Boy Scouts during upcoming events

    By Anne Ternus-Bellamy | From Page: A3

    Third-graders face high-stakes reading targets

    By The Associated Press | From Page: A3

     
    Learn how to ride a bike in Davis

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A3

    Feinstein, Boxer depend on red-leaning Senate races

    By San Francisco Chronicle | From Page: A3

     
    Gallery hosts poetry night

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A3

    Oktoberfest features Grand Isle Fire Brigade

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A3

     
    Archer event set for Sunday

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A4

    Per Capita: Tales from the back burner

    By John Mott-Smith | From Page: A4

     
    Sunflower power at the Winters Community Library

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A4

    Tour gives opportunity to watch moonrise in the bypass

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A4 | Gallery

     
    UC campuses aim to be more inclusive to LGBT students

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A4

    Check out Soroptimists at info night

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A4

     
    Register to vote by Oct. 20

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A4

    Helping disabled ag workers stay in agriculture

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A4

     
    Parenting advice on radio show

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A4

    Unitrans persists through changing times

    By Lily Holmes | From Page: C6 | Gallery

     
    Up for a fun day trip? Take a bike to Bike Dog

    By Elizabeth Case | From Page: C8 | Gallery

    Volunteers are trained to help with train questions

    By Bob Schultz | From Page: A10 | Gallery

     
    There are plenty of fun activities around town

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: C13 | Gallery

    Getting from here to there by buses, planes and trains

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: C14 | Gallery

     
    .

    Forum

    Feeling shunned after tragedy

    By Creators Syndicate | From Page: B5

     
    A true vision for peace

    By Letters to the Editor | From Page: A6

    Drivers, just follow the rules

    By Letters to the Editor | From Page: A6

     
    Let’s fix the park deck

    By Letters to the Editor | From Page: A6

    ‘Maupin’s Law’ 2.0: Prevention is better than punishment

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A6

     
    Tom Meyer cartoon

    By Debbie Davis | From Page: A6

    Choose Archer, Sunder, Adams

    By Letters to the Editor | From Page: A6

     
    Barbara Archer for school board

    By Letters to the Editor | From Page: A6

    Vote for change on board

    By Letters to the Editor | From Page: A6

     
    Poppenga considers all students

    By Letters to the Editor | From Page: A6

    Climate change is coming for you

    By Letters to the Editor | From Page: A6

     
    .

    Sports

    Despite 168 points allowed, PSU defense may not be lousy

    By Bruce Gallaudet | From Page: B1 | Gallery

     
    Bumgarner, Crawford help Giants slam Bucs

    By The Associated Press | From Page: B1 | Gallery

    Cheung paces Devils past Pacers on the pitch

    By Evan Ream | From Page: B1 | Gallery

     
    DHS JV runners shine in varsity events

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: B2

     
    Youth roundup: Diamonds swing to victories at Vineyard Classic

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: B2 | Gallery

     
    Sports briefs: DHS girls tennis goes three for three

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: B8

    .

    Features

    Davis robotics team pays it forward

    By Anne Ternus-Bellamy | From Page: A7 | Gallery

     
    .

    Arts

    Natsoulas to host mural conference

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A9

     
    Wineaux: Picking the last rosé of summer

    By Susan Leonardi | From Page: A9

    Odd Fellows to screen classic Westerns

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A9

     
    Robbie Fulks will visit ‘Live in the Loam’ on KDRT

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A9

    Old Macs get new life at art exhibit

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A9

     
    Woodland Opera House rounds up cowboy poetry, music

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A9

    Music for brass, choir and organ set at DCC

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A9

     
    .

    Business

    .

    Obituaries

    .

    Comics

    Comics: Thursday, October 2, 2014

    By Creator | From Page: B6