Thursday, March 5, 2015
YOLO COUNTY NEWS
99 CENTS

Husband just keeps digging

AnniesMailbox

By
From page B5 | December 24, 2013 |

Dear Annie: For the past several years, my husband has taken out a new credit card each January and maxed it out over the next 12 months. This has resulted in major debt, which I fear will devastate our family and possibly affect our children and grandchildren.

My husband is a good and caring person who often picks up the restaurant tabs for our friends and family and buys them gifts they could buy for themselves. As a result, he is extremely popular. If I try to limit these unnecessary expenses, everyone thinks I’m a spoilsport.

We are approaching the time where he will apply for another new credit card. Should I prohibit this until we reach some agreement on budget cuts? Should I let him go ahead and get the new card and then try to negotiate budget cuts? Or do I keep on trucking as usual and hope for the best?

— Concerned Spouse

Dear Spouse: If you are going into debt, please don’t shove this under the carpet until you are living on the street. Your husband seems to be a compulsive buyer, and it can be similar to other addictions that require effort to overcome. Is he willing to recognize and address the problem? (Therapy can help.) Would he be willing to let you handle the family finances while he is put on a cash allowance? You also can contact Debtors Anonymous (debtorsanonymous.org) and the International OCD Foundation (ocfoundation.org) for information and referrals.

————

Dear Annie: Fifteen years ago, our daughter married a truly nice guy, and they made it clear right away that they didn’t want “drop-in” visitors. I understood this, as they both work full time.

Three years ago, they bought a large home close to us, but in all the years they’ve been married, we can count on one hand the number of times we’ve been invited over for anything, including the kids’ birthdays, cookouts, etc. Yet I know my daughter’s in-laws are often invited.

Our grandchildren ask why we never come to their house, and I simply say it’s because we’re never invited. What should I say?

— Confused in Indiana

Dear Indiana: Please stop manipulating the children to get to the parents, which is exactly what you are doing when you tell them you’re “never invited.” Instead, talk to your daughter. Ask whether there is a problem and what you can do about it. She may have reasons for keeping you at a distance, so please make her understand that you cannot fix things if you don’t know what the issues are. If she still doesn’t invite you to her place, ask whether the children can visit at your house. As long as you can see your family, it really doesn’t matter where.

————

Dear Annie: “Too Late To Try Again” said she was cut off by a relative with no explanation. This happened in my family. Tell her it might help if she can laugh about the situation.

I am from an Italian family and married into another Italian family. My new mother-in-law was angry with her cousin “Angela.” They had been close for a long time, but then they didn’t speak for years.

When Angela died, my mother-in-law cried buckets but refused to go to the funeral. She said, “We didn’t talk when she was alive, and I’m not going to talk to her now that she’s dead.” So I asked my mother-in-law what the argument was about, because it was obviously so terrible that good friends stopped speaking. She replied, with tears in her eyes, “I don’t remember!” But true to her word, she did not go to the funeral.

— New York

————

Annie’s Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column. Email your questions to [email protected], or write to: Annie’s Mailbox, c/o Creators Syndicate, 737 3rd Street, Hermosa Beach, CA 90254. To find out more about Annie’s Mailbox and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate Web page at www.creators.com.

— Creators Syndicate Inc.

Comments

comments

Special to The Enterprise

  • Recent Posts

  • Enter your email address to subscribe to this newspaper and receive notifications of new articles by email.

  • .

    News

     
    ‘The Liar’ will have audiences in stitches

    By Anne Ternus-Bellamy | From Page: A1 | Gallery

    Hibbert Lumber honored as an Owl Wise Leader

    By Felicia Alvarez | From Page: A1 | Gallery

     
    World Language Fair brings nations to Davis

    By Krystal Lau | From Page: A3

     
    Get crackin’ for Yolo Crisis Nursery

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A3

    Taizé service set Friday at DCC

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A3

     
    Climate Lobby will meet March 11

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A3

    Be featured in Woodland’s water-wise landscape tour

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A3

     
    UFC speaker series gives ‘A Winemaker’s Journey’

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A3

    Speaker will illuminate universe’s dark side

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A3

     
    Fiesta dinner, auction benefit Chávez School

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A3

     
    Divorce options covered in Saturday workshop

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A4

    Community forum with police will address hate in Davis

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A5

     
    .

    Forum

    Tom Meyer cartoon

    By Debbie Davis | From Page: A6

     
    .

    Sports

    Blue Devil boys mash Marauders

    By Evan Ream | From Page: B1 | Gallery

     
    Devils’ big inning is the difference in baseball opener

    By Bruce Gallaudet | From Page: B1 | Gallery

    DHS golfers dominate Elk Grove

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: B1

     
    Davis softball offense explodes for first win

    By Chris Saur | From Page: B1 | Gallery

    DHS boys track team has high aspirations

    By Dylan Lee | From Page: B1 | Gallery

     
    Youth roundup: U15 Knights rout El Dorado Hills

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: B3 | Gallery

    Youth soccer: Barker lights it up for Blue Thunder

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: B3 | Gallery

     
    Sports briefs: DHS swimmers speed past Herd

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: B8

    .

    Features

    .

    Arts

     
    UC Davis bands perform on March 11

    By Jeff Hudson | From Page: A7

    Wealth of Nations plays Saturday

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A7

     
    ‘Witness for the Prosecution’ to be screened Sunday

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A7

     
    Hear EZ Street Saturday at winery

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A7

     
    Resler releases memoir, ‘The Last Protégée’

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A8

    Athens Guitar Duo to perform at Davis Arts Center

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A8

     
    .

    Business

    .

    Obituaries

    .

    Comics

    Comics: Thursday, March 5, 2015

    By Creator | From Page: B6