Friday, February 27, 2015
YOLO COUNTY NEWS
99 CENTS

Intimate chat on company time

AnniesMailbox

By
From page B5 | June 19, 2014 |

Dear Annie: I believe my husband is having an emotional affair with his employee “Tina.” All the signs are there.

My husband’s office phone accidentally dialed me while he was talking with Tina at work, and I overheard their conversation. He called her terms of love. I started snooping and discovered that they text each other hundreds of times a month. He lets her know when I’m away from the house so she can call him directly. Tina is the first person he calls on his way to work and the last person he calls on his way home. It used to be me.

We’ve been married for 18 months, but we are not kids. We are in our 50s. I’m stunned by his behavior. When I confronted him, he said he isn’t doing anything wrong because nothing physical has happened between them. Since then, he’s become more secretive and won’t discuss it at all. I am so saddened by this. He is giving to Tina a part of him that is meant for me, his wife.

I am going to therapy, and that helps. But I have reached the point where I no longer have the feelings of love for my husband that I used to. I’m upset with him all of the time. Tell your readers that an emotional affair is just as damaging as a physical one — maybe more so.

— Heart of Stone

Dear Heart: Some partners mistakenly believe that if there is no sex, there is no affair. But giving your emotions, your heart, your innermost thoughts to someone other than your spouse is also cheating. It creates a bond with a third party, allowing that person into your marriage. We are glad you are getting counseling, but if your husband does not understand the damage he is doing and makes no effort to change it, we worry that your marriage will not survive. (You also might point out that he is putting his career in jeopardy by becoming involved with a subordinate.)

————

Dear Annie: After 20 years of marriage, my husband and I divorced because he was having an affair. My now ex-in-laws have welcomed the Other Woman into their lives. Even before we were divorced, my ex-mother-in-law was hanging out with my ex-husband and his mistress.

I feel totally betrayed by my ex’s family. I still spend time with my ex-in-laws because of my three teenage children. They keep saying that they still love me and that I am still their daughter, but would any family member, especially a mother, cozy up to the person who caused her daughter so much pain? Am I overreacting?

— L.

Dear L.: You are expecting loyalty from someone who cannot give it. As much as they may love and care about you, your in-laws love and care about their son more. Even if they believe their son behaved terribly toward you, this Other Woman may become his wife and your children’s stepmother. If they reject her, they risk alienating him. Your best bet is to learn to live graciously with the situation in order to make it easier for your children. If you cannot achieve this on your own, please consider counseling.

————

Dear Annie: “Can’t Please Mother” said Mom never was happy about any gift she received from her kids. I have a different perspective.

My sons have given me electronic devices, but never took the time to show me how to use them, so they sit in my dresser under my socks. When my grandchild was born, I received a cup with her picture. It was the best gift ever, and I said so, yet I never got another one.

I once visited a woman who had shelf after shelf of “stuff” she couldn’t use, and all she did was dust it all every week. People should listen to what others truly want.

— Nebraska

Annie’s Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column. Please email your questions to [email protected], or write to: Annie’s Mailbox, c/o Creators Syndicate, 737 3rd Street, Hermosa Beach, CA 90254. To find out more about Annie’s Mailbox and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate Web page at www.creators.com.

— Creators Syndicate Inc.

Comments

comments

Creators Syndicate

.

News

 
Woodland infant’s death remains a mystery

By Lauren Keene | From Page: A1

New greenhouse will add to ‘Farm to Mouth’ program

By Anne Ternus-Bellamy | From Page: A1 | Gallery

 
Learn about pollinators, gardens and honey at Yolo Basin fundraiser

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A1 | Gallery

Can you give them a home?

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A2 | Gallery

 
For the record

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A2

Fire damages South Davis home

By Lauren Keene | From Page: A2 | Gallery

 
Gerber nominations close Saturday

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A3

 
Explorit: Humming right along

By Lisa Justice | From Page: A3

Flower arrangers feature S.F. designer

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A3

 
Celebrate Africa on Saturday at I-House

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A3

Chamber explores how to pay for Davis’ needs

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A4

 
Wolk and Dodd team up to provide Napa earthquake tax relief

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A4

Robb Davis to speak about homelessness, energy

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A4

 
Spring sing-along is March 4

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A4

Two free yoga classes offered March 12

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A5

 
Take a night walk at Cache Creek

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A5

Class of 1970 plans 45-year reunion

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A5

 
Bicycle safety course to be offered in Davis

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A5

 
Documentary on immigration issues will be screened

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A5

Learn about your brain on March 14

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A5

 
A fill-up mishap

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A5

Adopt a household for Bridge to Housing participants

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A7

 
Workshop will teach sustainable gardening methods

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A8

 
.

Forum

Tired of all of this

By Creators Syndicate | From Page: B5

 
Oral Health Project launches

By Letters to the Editor | From Page: B6

Here an H, there an H

By Letters to the Editor | From Page: B6

 
Cavalier attitude about bike safety

By Letters to the Editor | From Page: B6

Start early to build healthy dental habits

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: B6

 
Tom Meyer cartoon

By Debbie Davis | From Page: B6

 
No extra cost for containers

By Letters to the Editor | From Page: B6

.

Sports

Inquiring minds want to know about Aggies

By Bruce Gallaudet | From Page: B1

 
Encouraging start for DHS boys tennis team

By Enterprise staff | From Page: B1 | Gallery

Off day for Aggie men at UCSB

By Kim Orendor | From Page: B1 | Gallery

 
Aggie women fall to 4th after lackluster showing

By Bruce Gallaudet | From Page: B1 | Gallery

Lady Devils are on to the SJS semis

By Spencer Ault | From Page: B1 | Gallery

 
Blue Devil boys expect a spike in production

By Thomas Oide | From Page: B1 | Gallery

 
Late goal lifts Red Wings over Sharks

By The Associated Press | From Page: B4 | Gallery

Watney struggling at windy Honda Classic

By Enterprise staff | From Page: B12

 
.

Features

.

Arts

International Film Series to present ‘Jaffa’

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A10

 
Monticello announces March schedule

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A10

The Artery presents ‘Stepping Into Nature’

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A10 | Gallery

 
YoloArts’ Gallery 625 presents ‘The Poetry of Dots’

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A10 | Gallery

‘Focus': A sharply conceived caper

By Derrick Bang | From Page: A11 | Gallery

 
The Woodland Opera House announces 2015-16 season

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A12 | Gallery

.

Business

Nissan’s Z remains an affordable performer

By Ann M. Job | From Page: B3

 
Car Care: Simple DIY steps to protect your car through all seasons

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A7

 
.

Obituaries

Dieter W. Gruenwedel

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A4

 
George Miller Jr.

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A4

Death notice: Celia E. Recchio

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A4

 
Vernon E. Burton

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A4

.

Comics

Comics: Friday, February 27, 2015

By Creator | From Page: B5