Friday, March 27, 2015
YOLO COUNTY NEWS
99 CENTS

Is this still ‘cheating’?

AnniesMailbox

By
From page B5 | March 29, 2013 |

Dear Annie: I’m a gay man and have been with my boyfriend for four years. I know he’s bisexual, but I guess I didn’t understand. He told me recently that he wants to have a girlfriend in addition to seeing me. I understand the logic, but I don’t like it. I don’t feel threatened. I know he loves me, and he’s not going to replace me with another guy. He views our relationship as steady. I’m sure if he ever settles down, it will be with me.

I have a five-year head start over this girl, but it doesn’t sit right with me. Whenever I bring up concerns about sharing him or what the future will be like, he says we’ll cross that bridge when we come to it.

Annie, what if he wants a child — or decides to marry a woman to avoid the stigma of being gay? He’d still expect me to hang on. And whenever I issue an ultimatum about not dating anyone else, he says I’m allowed to leave whenever I want. I don’t know whether he doesn’t care or knows I don’t really mean it.

I love him and want to be with him forever, but I don’t think I could get used to being “the other man.” What do I do?

— Confused and Hurt from North Dakota

Dear North Dakota: It doesn’t matter whether your boyfriend is gay, straight, bisexual or from another planet. He wants to have someone else in his bed, and you apparently don’t consider this cheating. You say his heart belongs to you, and yet you believe he could marry someone else. He isn’t being fair to you. You know this, which is why it doesn’t “sit right,” but you permit it to continue because somewhere in your head, you are convinced he is committed to you. He is not. He is manipulating you into sticking around while he plays the field.

After five years, it might be a good idea to set him free. If you are still available when he’s ready to settle down, he can contact you then. Otherwise, you are only making yourself miserable and anxious.

————

Dear Annie: I took my 13-year-old cat to the vet yesterday and found out she has diabetes that is treatable. I will be learning how to give her shots.

I don’t drive, so my mom gave me a ride back from the vet, and I told her the diagnosis. She said, “You might want to put her down if you’re not able to give her the shots.”

Why would a person think so negatively? Why would she advise me to do such a thing when I’ve barely had an opportunity to start administering care? Mom has a cat that’s not nearly as sweet as mine, but it’s not as if she doesn’t understand. Please tell people to keep their negative attitude to themselves

— Iowa

Dear Iowa: Mom was probably projecting her attitude onto you. She might not be as willing to take such care of her cat and uttered that thought aloud. Most people do not intend to say unkind, negative things. They simply open their mouths before their brains are in gear. Please forgive her.

————

Dear Annie: “Soon To Be Family Outcast” asked whether she had to attend a wedding in Canada, saying passports are too expensive. You answered the question, but you didn’t address her comment about passports.

One can get a passport card for about $55. If that is still beyond her means, she can look into an Enhanced Driver’s License.

— Michael in Indianapolis

Dear Michael: We’re happy to clarify. An Enhanced Driver’s License allows land or sea travel between the U.S. and Canada and, at the moment, is available in only four states. For information, contact getyouhome.gov. Passport cards (also land and sea travel) are issued by the U.S. Dept. of State (travel.state.gov).

————

Annie’s Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column. Email your questions to [email protected], or write to: Annie’s Mailbox, c/o Creators Syndicate, 737 3rd Street, Hermosa Beach, CA 90254. To find out more about Annie’s Mailbox and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate Web page at www.creators.com.

— Creators Syndicate Inc.

Comments

comments

Special to The Enterprise

.

News

Anti-gay initiative puts AG in a bind

By The Associated Press | From Page: A1

 
County supervisors consider options for historic courthouse

By Anne Ternus-Bellamy | From Page: A1 | Gallery

Two found dead of apparent shooting in West Davis home

By Lauren Keene | From Page: A1 | Gallery

 
New Paso Fino design trims lots

By Dave Ryan | From Page: A1

Woodland police warn of kidnapping phone scam

By Lauren Keene | From Page: A2

 
Co-pilot may have hidden illness, German prosecutors say

By The Associated Press | From Page: A2

 
Senate’s Harry Reid announces he won’t seek re-election

By The Associated Press | From Page: A2

Need a new best friend?

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A3 | Gallery

 
Lawyer disputes police’s hoax claim in California kidnapping

By The Associated Press | From Page: A3

Empower Yolo offers peer counselor training

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A4

 
Davis Flower Arrangers meet Wednesday

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A4

 
Sign up for Camp Shakespeare

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A4

State loosens sex offender residency restrictions

By The Associated Press | From Page: A5

 
Neighbors invited to adopt Willow Creek Park

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A5

Sing along on April Fool’s Day

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A5

 
Three nabbed in counterfeiting probe

By Lauren Keene | From Page: A6

.

Forum

Can he get life back on track?

By Creators Syndicate | From Page: B5

 
Blame Reid for impasse

By Letters to the Editor | From Page: A7

 
Practice cancer prevention each day

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A7

Turnabout is fair play

By Letters to the Editor | From Page: A7

 
Be aware and be afraid

By Letters to the Editor | From Page: A7

.

Sports

UCD’s Hawkins, Harris to shoot at Final Four

By Enterprise staff | From Page: B1 | Gallery

 
Home sweet home: Aggie women win a tennis match

By Enterprise staff | From Page: B1

Devil boys grind out a net win at Franklin

By Enterprise staff | From Page: B1

 
DHS baseballers fall to Vintage in eight innings

By Enterprise staff | From Page: B1

UCD men edge Hawaii on the court

By Enterprise staff | From Page: B1

 
DYSA roundup: Recent youth softball games feature big hitting

By Enterprise staff | From Page: B2 | Gallery

Sacramento get its second straight win

By The Associated Press | From Page: B2

 
Sharks get a key win over Detroit

By The Associated Press | From Page: B10 | Gallery

 
.

Features

.

Arts

UCD Student Fashion Association presents charity fashion show

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A3

 
‘Get Hard’ comes across as rather limp

By Derrick Bang | From Page: A8 | Gallery

Monticello announces April live-music shows

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A9

 
Leonardo Tuchman’s work shows at UC Davis Craft Center Gallery

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A9

Sacramento Youth Symphony holding open auditions

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A9

 
Preview Art Studio Tour participants’ work at The Artery

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A9 | Gallery

Smokey Brights to perform at Sophia’s

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A9

 
‘Deserted Destinations’ is April exhibit at Gallery 625

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A9 | Gallery

.

Business

Camry Hybrid takes a step forward

By Ann M. Job | From Page: B3

 
.

Obituaries

Celebrate Rusty Jordan’s Life

By Creator | From Page: A4

 
.

Comics

Comics: Friday, March 27, 2015

By Creator | From Page: B4