Dear Annie: How much can I ask my host about etiquette for her overseas wedding?

I live in Canada. The bride is French. I met her when she was briefly living in my hometown. She went back to France two years ago, and now she’s getting married there. The wedding invitation was sent to my name only, and there was not any kind of RSVP card that I’m accustomed to seeing. So I’m unsure whether I am welcome to bring a guest, since attending would involve a rather lengthy journey.

Would it be acceptable to email the bride and ask her whether I can bring my boyfriend? I don’t want to put her on the spot, but I also don’t want to bring my date to a country where he doesn’t speak the language and then stick him by himself for the day, only to find out later that they had expected me to bring him.

— Beaucoup Baffled

Dear Baffled: Did the invitation appear to be formal or informal? If informal, it is perfectly OK to ask the bride whether you can bring a guest. If it is formal, however, you’d have to be more circumspect. Email the bride and say that you would love to attend her wedding, but you aren’t certain you are up to making such a long journey by yourself. If she wants you to bring a guest, she will then tell you so. But if she doesn’t make such an offer, you can assume that her guest list is limited, sorry.

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Dear Annie: After reading the letter from “Holding My Breath,” whose spouse has terrible breath, I had to respond.

My husband had terrible breath, but he also had a very rigorous oral care routine, which made me wonder what else could be going on. Having been a dental assistant, I was aware of various odors from different oral diseases. The smell was not from what he ate. I ate it, too, and didn’t have such an odor. It was the worst thing I had ever smelled, and I just knew it was metabolic in nature.

His dentist simply told him it was “not dental in nature.” The doctor told him he was “fine.” Finally, after three months of worsening gastrointestinal symptoms, his doctor gave him a blood test, and a colonoscopy showed a fist-sized tumor.

He underwent chemotherapy and was graced with a lovely ostomy bag. But during this time, the breath issue went away. When it recurred, it was because the lesions on his liver had spread. He passed away two months later.

I would get that man in for a full physical, including a colonoscopy. It could save his life.

— Been There

Dear Been There: Halitosis is often a result of poor dental hygiene, but it also can be due to oral problems, throat issues, gum disease, infection, certain foods and sometimes gastrointestinal difficulties. Some of these, as you have pointed out, can be quite serious. Please, folks, we want you to stick around for a long time. You must be an advocate for your own health. If you suspect something is wrong, be persistent.

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Annie’s Snippet for Income Tax Day: “The best measure of a man’s honesty isn’t his income tax return. It’s the zero adjust on his bathroom scale.”

— Arthur C. Clarke, author

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Annie’s Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column. Email your questions to [email protected], or write to: Annie’s Mailbox, c/o Creators Syndicate, 737 3rd Street, Hermosa Beach, CA 90254. To find out more about Annie’s Mailbox and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate Web page at www.creators.com.

— Creators Syndicate Inc.

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