Sunday, September 21, 2014
YOLO COUNTY NEWS
99 CENTS

It’s all their fault!

AnniesMailbox

By
From page B5 | August 16, 2013 |

Dear Annie: My daughter-in-law tends to go to her family. She says she is uncomfortable with my son’s side. She has been rude to us since she married my son, and she controls him. She threatens him if he does not do what she wants.

My daughter had a fight with my daughter-in-law four years ago, and I just woke up to the fact that my daughter-in-law blames us for my daughter’s actions. My husband and I tried therapy with my son and daughter-in-law, but it made things worse. I left, saying that I am not happy with either of them and I just want to see my grandchildren. My son said that if I don’t continue with therapy, I won’t see the kids again. They are using the children as weapons to control us. I told her she didn’t like us from Day One. She told me she doesn’t trust me.

My new granddaughter had a baptism, and my daughter-in-law told us it was an occasion only for her family. We were insulted and hurt. I’m thinking of going to court and suing for grandparents’ rights.

— Trustworthy

Dear Trustworthy: Your son and his wife may not be behaving in a kind or loving way, but there is room for improvement on both sides. They are willing to go for counseling to resolve this, which is a good sign. But walking out of a counseling session because you don’t like what you hear is not productive. The point of counseling is to work through the issues that get in the way of a better relationship. Please stop trying to get your son to favor you over his wife. It won’t happen. The more you blame her the more defensive they both will be. If you want to be in his life and see those grandkids, we urge you to agree to go back for counseling and really work on it with an open mind.

————

Dear Annie: I recently married a man who is quite wonderful, but he won’t help out around the house. We have a child together, and I am the breadwinner. When I’m not working, I’m cleaning the house and picking up after him. Once in a while, he may do a chore or two, but that’s it.

We’ve had many talks about this, and he always agrees to do things when I ask. But I still come home from work and find nothing done, and he has plenty of excuses.

He will be 30 soon. He was not raised this way, and his mother has tried to help, but we can’t seem to make any progress. What can I do? This is driving me insane

— Maid on Demand and Sick of It

Dear Maid: Can you afford periodic cleaning help? Would you be willing to relax your standards a bit? Can you stop picking up after your husband? Could you save the housecleaning for weekends and make it a joint effort? Sometimes, this is simply a matter of disorganization, in which case a list and a reminder might work. You cannot force your husband to grow up, but you can help him understand that this type of issue will erode a marriage over time, making one partner resentful and turning the other into a recalcitrant child. He needs to step up.

———

Dear Annie: I, too, have suffered from depression all my life. It took courage to finally seek help, because you think you’re “crazy” and fear the stigma of admitting something is wrong. I thought the gap between where I was and being “normal’ was as wide as the Grand Canyon. In fact, it’s only as wide as a couple of pills. It took a few tries before I found the medication that works best for me.

Once I “came out,” I discovered that several people I work with are also on antidepressants or anti-anxiety medication.

— Been There, Too.

————

Annie’s Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column. Email your questions to anniesmailbox@comcast.net, or write to: Annie’s Mailbox, c/o Creators Syndicate, 737 3rd Street, Hermosa Beach, CA 90254. To find out more about Annie’s Mailbox and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate Web page at www.creators.com.

— Creators Syndicate Inc.

Comments

comments

Special to The Enterprise

  • Recent Posts

  • Enter your email address to subscribe to this newspaper and receive notifications of new articles by email.

  • .

    News

    Elementary school counselors: necessary, but poorly funded

    By Anne Ternus-Bellamy | From Page: A1 | Gallery

     
     
    Bet Haverim hosts High Holy Day services

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A1

     
    Teams assess damage as wildfire burns

    By The Associated Press | From Page: A2 | Gallery

     
    Driver arrested for DUI after Saturday morning crash

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A2

    Help raise funds for juvenile diabetes cure

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A3

     
    Jewelry, art for sale at Senior Center

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A3

    Davis Community Meals needs cooks

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A3

     
    Da Vinci awarded $38,000 for restorative justice program

    By Anne Ternus-Bellamy | From Page: A4

     
    Hawk Hill trip planned Sept. 30

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A4

    UC campus chancellors granted hefty pay raises

    By The Associated Press | From Page: A4

     
    Send kids to camp!

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A4

    Outdoor yoga marathon celebrates community

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A5

     
    Wise words

    By Sue Cockrell | From Page: A12

     
    .

    Forum

    Awareness is key to this fight

    By Creators Syndicate | From Page: B5

     
    Where is this going?

    By Creators Syndicate | From Page: A6

    We’re living in the Golden State of emergency

    By Debra DeAngelo | From Page: A6

     
    Options for protection come with flu season

    By The Associated Press | From Page: A6

    Are we there yet? Not enough hours in the day to goof off

    By Tanya Perez | From Page: A6Comments are off for this post

     
    Don’t sell city greenbelt

    By Letters to the Editor | From Page: A10

    Paso Fino project is flawed

    By Letters to the Editor | From Page: A10

     
    Paso Fino — it’s not worth it

    By Letters to the Editor | From Page: A10

    Archer will get my vote

    By Letters to the Editor | From Page: A10

     
    It’s time for Davis Scouts to stand up for what is right

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A10

    Mike Keefe cartoon

    By Debbie Davis | From Page: A10

     
    Building something at schools’ HQ

    By Our View | From Page: A10

    Speak out

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A11

     
    Maybe David can beat Goliath again

    By Lynne Nittler | From Page: A11 | Gallery

    .

    Sports

    DHS gets on its Morse to beat Edison

    By Thomas Oide | From Page: B1 | Gallery

     
    JV Blue Devils drop low-scoring affair

    By Spencer Ault | From Page: B2

     
    Republic FC’s fairy tale season continues

    By Evan Ream | From Page: B3 | Gallery

    Wire briefs: Giants rally falls short in San Diego

    By The Associated Press | From Page: B3

     
    Four local swimmers qualify for Olympic Trials

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: B3

    ‘We’re a way better team’ than record, says UCD’s Shaffer

    By Bruce Gallaudet | From Page: B4 | Gallery

     
    UCD roundup: Aggie men pound Pomona-Pitzer in the pool

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: B4

    Davis 15-year-old making a splash in European F4 series

    By Bruce Gallaudet | From Page: B8 | Gallery

     
    .

    Features

    .

    Arts

    ‘Ladies Foursome’ adds shows

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A3

     
    .

    Business

    MBI hires VP of marketing

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A7

     
    UCD grad’s startup earns kudos at TechCrunch event

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A7

    Styles on target for November debut

    By Wendy Weitzel | From Page: A7

     
    Taylor Morrison unveils new Woodland community next weekend

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A9 | Gallery

    Rob White: What is an ‘innovation center’?

    By Rob White | From Page: A9

     
    .

    Obituaries

    Carol L. Walsh

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A4

     
    .

    Comics

    Comics: Sunday, September 21, 2014

    By Creator | From Page: B8