Tuesday, March 31, 2015
YOLO COUNTY NEWS
99 CENTS

It’s all their fault!

AnniesMailbox

By
From page B5 | August 16, 2013 |

Dear Annie: My daughter-in-law tends to go to her family. She says she is uncomfortable with my son’s side. She has been rude to us since she married my son, and she controls him. She threatens him if he does not do what she wants.

My daughter had a fight with my daughter-in-law four years ago, and I just woke up to the fact that my daughter-in-law blames us for my daughter’s actions. My husband and I tried therapy with my son and daughter-in-law, but it made things worse. I left, saying that I am not happy with either of them and I just want to see my grandchildren. My son said that if I don’t continue with therapy, I won’t see the kids again. They are using the children as weapons to control us. I told her she didn’t like us from Day One. She told me she doesn’t trust me.

My new granddaughter had a baptism, and my daughter-in-law told us it was an occasion only for her family. We were insulted and hurt. I’m thinking of going to court and suing for grandparents’ rights.

— Trustworthy

Dear Trustworthy: Your son and his wife may not be behaving in a kind or loving way, but there is room for improvement on both sides. They are willing to go for counseling to resolve this, which is a good sign. But walking out of a counseling session because you don’t like what you hear is not productive. The point of counseling is to work through the issues that get in the way of a better relationship. Please stop trying to get your son to favor you over his wife. It won’t happen. The more you blame her the more defensive they both will be. If you want to be in his life and see those grandkids, we urge you to agree to go back for counseling and really work on it with an open mind.

————

Dear Annie: I recently married a man who is quite wonderful, but he won’t help out around the house. We have a child together, and I am the breadwinner. When I’m not working, I’m cleaning the house and picking up after him. Once in a while, he may do a chore or two, but that’s it.

We’ve had many talks about this, and he always agrees to do things when I ask. But I still come home from work and find nothing done, and he has plenty of excuses.

He will be 30 soon. He was not raised this way, and his mother has tried to help, but we can’t seem to make any progress. What can I do? This is driving me insane

— Maid on Demand and Sick of It

Dear Maid: Can you afford periodic cleaning help? Would you be willing to relax your standards a bit? Can you stop picking up after your husband? Could you save the housecleaning for weekends and make it a joint effort? Sometimes, this is simply a matter of disorganization, in which case a list and a reminder might work. You cannot force your husband to grow up, but you can help him understand that this type of issue will erode a marriage over time, making one partner resentful and turning the other into a recalcitrant child. He needs to step up.

———

Dear Annie: I, too, have suffered from depression all my life. It took courage to finally seek help, because you think you’re “crazy” and fear the stigma of admitting something is wrong. I thought the gap between where I was and being “normal’ was as wide as the Grand Canyon. In fact, it’s only as wide as a couple of pills. It took a few tries before I found the medication that works best for me.

Once I “came out,” I discovered that several people I work with are also on antidepressants or anti-anxiety medication.

— Been There, Too.

————

Annie’s Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column. Email your questions to [email protected], or write to: Annie’s Mailbox, c/o Creators Syndicate, 737 3rd Street, Hermosa Beach, CA 90254. To find out more about Annie’s Mailbox and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate Web page at www.creators.com.

— Creators Syndicate Inc.

Comments

comments

Special to The Enterprise

  • Recent Posts

  • Enter your email address to subscribe to this newspaper and receive notifications of new articles by email.

  • .

    News

    Coroner confirms West Davis deaths were murder-suicide

    By Lauren Keene | From Page: A1 | Gallery

     
    Special playground dedication slated

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A1

     
    Bob Dunning: Wrap your head around our MRAP need

    By Bob Dunning | From Page: A2

    Solo crash kills Woodland man, 22

    By Lauren Keene | From Page: A2

     
    Officials say Iran nuke talks will continue in new phase

    By The Associated Press | From Page: A2

    Police: Missing athlete died on freeway

    By The Associated Press | From Page: A2

     
    French eye cockpit entry rules

    By The Associated Press | From Page: A2

     
    ‘Old Autos’ at Hattie Weber Museum

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A3

    Lenten giving project highlights climate justice

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A4 | Gallery

     
    DCCNS plans open house April 8

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A4

    Parent-child open house previews new Waldorf classes

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A4

     
    Summer garden alert!

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A4

    Davis FFA and ag students host plant sale

    By Anne Ternus-Bellamy | From Page: A4

     
    Poker tourney benefits DMTC

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A4

    Camp Shakespeare begins Saturday

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A4

     
    Davis tops list of best schools for the buck

    By Jeff Hudson | From Page: A4

    Tour de Cluck has selected its coops

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A5 | Gallery

     
    CBH hosts Passover Community Potluck Seder

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A5

    City extends nomination period for Huynh Awards

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A5

     
    Parenting class meets Tuesdays

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A5

     
    Neighbors invited to adopt Willow Creek Park

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A5

    Yolo animal shelter seeks donations

    By Lauren Keene | From Page: A5Comments are off for this post

     
    RSVP for Gerber Young Community Leader reception

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A5

    Pence Gallery recruiting volunteers

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A5

     
    Move over, Muggles

    By Wayne Tilcock | From Page: A5

    Meeting examines Northstar Pond priorities

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A6

     
    Pets of the week

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A7 | Gallery

    .

    Forum

    Why can’t we be friends?

    By Creators Syndicate | From Page: B5

     
    Maybe he loves the outdoors …

    By Creators Syndicate | From Page: B5

    A California comeback for gerrymandering?

    By Tom Elias | From Page: A8

     
    César Chávez’s peaceful civil disobedience forged a great legacy

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A8

    A conversation about power

    By Letters to the Editor | From Page: A8

     
    .

    Sports

    A very palpable hit

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: B1 | Gallery

     
     
    Over the years, The Show has been a reach for Davis

    By Bruce Gallaudet | From Page: B1 | Gallery

    UC Davis opens hopeful spring football camp

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: B1

     
    UCD roundup: Sleiffer seals Aggie tennis victory over Montana

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: B2 | Gallery

    Grizzlies beat Kings to end three-game skid

    By The Associated Press | From Page: B10 | Gallery

     
    Snubbed Temple, returning Stanford highlight NIT semis

    By The Associated Press | From Page: B10

    .

    Features

    .

    Arts

    30 years of dance in Davis with Pamela Trokanski

    By Chloe Lessard | From Page: A1 | Gallery

     
    ‘A Year with Frog and Toad’ a delightful family show

    By Bev Sykes | From Page: A9 | Gallery

    Mischief to play at Picnic in the Park

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A9 | Gallery

     
    Yolo Mambo will play at winery

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A9

    Thursday Live! plans a blues party

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A9

     
    Jane Lynch performance rescheduled to August

    By Jeff Hudson | From Page: A9 | Gallery

    Hear some April Fool’s night jazz

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A9

     
    Dance the night away at house party

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A9

     
    .

    Business

    .

    Obituaries

    .

    Comics

    Comics: Tuesday, March 31, 2015 (set 1)

    By Creator | From Page: B5

     
    Comics: Tuesday, March 31, 2015 (set 2)

    By Creator | From Page: B7