Tuesday, April 28, 2015
YOLO COUNTY NEWS
99 CENTS

It’ll take two to fix this

AnniesMailbox

By
From page B5 | February 15, 2013 |

Dear Annie: My wife and I are having marital problems. Our issues started when I caught her lying to me and talking privately on the phone to my best friend of 12 years — the same guy who was the best man at my wedding. After arguing for a few days, I asked her to make a sincere effort to go for counseling, and she agreed. I also asked her to stop speaking to my friend during the time we are trying to repair our marriage. She agreed to that, too.

However, this guy messages her on Facebook, and she still reads his comments. We went to our first counseling session, and I felt it went well. But when we got home, I realized that she was having doubts. She finally said she had not been in love with me for five years.

Annie, we have a beautiful 16-month-old baby girl. I want to repair our marriage for our child’s sake, as well as for us. What should I do? Can marriage counseling help if there’s no love?

— Dying in New York

Dear New York: Marriage counseling can help if there once was love that can be recaptured, or if both parties are dedicated to making the marriage work. A compatible marriage doesn’t necessarily require passion for each other, only a commitment to the stability of the relationship. But you cannot do it alone. Please continue with counseling. If your wife wants to work on the marriage, she will come along and make the necessary effort. But if she is unwilling, the counselor will help you forge your own path.

————

Dear Annie: Would you please define “immediate family”? My granddaughter is getting married in May. She is inviting “immediate family only,” thus excluding my daughter (her aunt) and my daughter-in-law’s sister.

This is going to cause a lot of hurt feelings and might even create a split in the family. I am invited, but not my male friend of 14 years. I have talked to my son, the father of the bride, but he does not want to get involved.

Our side of the family is not as large as the groom’s. My ex-husband (the grandfather) will not be attending. Why can’t my daughter take his place? What about my daughter’s husband? My relationship with my granddaughter is very close, so I don’t understand this, and it’s causing tremendous stress. Please advise.

— Gram

Dear Gram: “Immediate family” refers to the bridal couple’s parents and siblings. (If the bride and groom have children, they would also be part of the immediate family.) Grandparents are usually included as “immediate family,” but not aunts, uncles, cousins, in-laws or other relatives. Your companion of 14 years should be invited because the two of you are an established couple. If your daughter is invited, her husband should be, as well.

Your granddaughter gets to determine her side of the wedding list. Although we understand how painful this is for you, as long as all aunts, uncles and cousins are excluded, it is equitable.

————

Dear Anne: The replies to “Your Husband,” who made excuses for his extramarital adventures, left out a third option besides suffering with no sex and having affairs. Masturbation can keep those guys who feel they will die of frustration from wandering.

I used to think of masturbation as cheating on my wife, but no longer. After 50 years, we are still partners in every other way, and we still hold hands in bed. I am not looking for a replacement “as long as we both shall live.”

— Old Codger

————

Annie’s Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column. Email your questions to [email protected], or write to: Annie’s Mailbox, c/o Creators Syndicate, 737 3rd Street, Hermosa Beach, CA 90254. To find out more about Annie’s Mailbox and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate Web page at www.creators.com.

— Creators Syndicate Inc.

Comments

comments

Special to The Enterprise

  • Recent Posts

  • Enter your email address to subscribe to this newspaper and receive notifications of new articles by email.

  • .

    News

    Yolo Basin Foundation celebrates 25 years, announces major fund drive

    By Felicia Alvarez | From Page: A1 | Gallery

     
    Teens embrace public art through Pence Gallery program

    By Anne Ternus-Bellamy | From Page: A1 | Gallery

    Robotics team members reflect on their big win

    By Kellen Browning | From Page: A1

     
    City’s eco-classes will explore water, wildlife, pests, composting

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A1

    Many hands make light work

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A1 | Gallery

     
    Capay Organic hosts Cinco de Mayo party

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A3

     
    Yolo County Bar Association honors Magna Carta, probation chief

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A3

    Sierra Club leaders will meet April 30

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A3

     
    Pedro party, lunch benefit Yolo Hospice

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A4

     
    Author — injured arm in sling — will sign her new book

    By Jeff Hudson | From Page: A4 | Gallery

    Chicken manure compost class planned

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A4

     
    Party celebrates release of Lescroart’s new novel

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A4

    Curious about calculus? Try Barcellos’ new book

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A4

     
    Master Gardeners teach workshops throughout county

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A4

    Faithful Partner Fund established for K-9 officers

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A4 | Gallery

     
    Vacaville contractor convicted of fraud

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A5

    Holmes’ Green Team wins state award

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A5 | Gallery

     
    Blueberries, apricots arrive at Sutter market

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A7 | Gallery

    New UCD art lecture series named for Thiebauds

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A7 | Gallery

     
    Pinball show features lots of free play

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A7

    Asian garden open for tours this weekend

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A10 | Gallery

     
    .

    Forum

    Waking up to the awful truth

    By Creators Syndicate | From Page: B5

     
    David Brooks: Love and merit

    By David Brooks | From Page: A6

    Davis’ active transportation plan is right on target

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A6

     
    Dog’s freedom isn’t worth it

    By Letters to the Editor | From Page: A6

    Vaccine bill is vital for our health

    By Letters to the Editor | From Page: A6

     
    Thanks for camera’s return

    By Letters to the Editor | From Page: A6

    Tom Meyer cartoon

    By Debbie Davis | From Page: A6

     
    .

    Sports

    Huge first frame lifts DHS to huge baseball win

    By Spencer Ault | From Page: B1 | Gallery

     
    Blue Devil girls run it up on Grant

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: B1

    UCD golfers move into first at Big West Championship

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: B1

     
    Another big inning does in Devil softballers

    By Thomas Oide | From Page: B1

     
    AAA roundup: Cardinals break out big bats in Davis Little League win

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: B3 | Gallery

     
    .

    Features

    .

    Arts

    Get a positive vibe Wednesday from Tha Dirt Feelin’

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A3 | Gallery

     
    Momentum Dance Company plans spring concert

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A3 | Gallery

    Sacramento Youth Symphony holding open auditions

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A9Comments are off for this post

     
    Winters Theatre Company performs on the Big Day of Giving

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A9

    There’s no place like home in DMTC’s ‘Wizard of Oz’

    By Bev Sykes | From Page: A9 | Gallery

     
    ‘Contempt of Court’ next up at Winters Theatre Company

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A9

    Have breakfast in Oz on May 16

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A9

     
    Black Sea Hotel to perform in Village Homes

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A9

    DMTC’s young performers present a steam-punk ‘Snow White’

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A9 | Gallery

     
    .

    Business

    .

    Obituaries

     
    .

    Comics

    Comics: Tuesday, April 28, 2015 (set 1)

    By Creator | From Page: B5

     
    Comics: Tuesday, April 28, 2015 (set 2)

    By Creator | From Page: B7