Tuesday, March 31, 2015
YOLO COUNTY NEWS
99 CENTS

It’s time for someone to make a choice

AnniesMailbox

By
From page B5 | May 11, 2014 |

Dear Annie: Six months ago, I became involved with a man 20 years my senior. It has become evident that his ex-wife is still very much in the picture.

They divorced 30 years ago, when he found out she was cheating. He gave her the house and half of his earnings until their children were grown. Yet he still phones her and asks whether she needs anything. Those “needs” are usually financial, in spite of her cushy job and mortgage-free life.

What sent me over the edge was a recent visit to his mother’s house. I randomly picked up a family photo of his parents’ 50th anniversary party, and there she was — right in the center.

I have voiced my displeasure loud and clear: Either I am “it,” or I am out! He says she is family. What is a divorce exactly if people are going to exchange gifts and phone calls and show up at family functions?

— Too Little Too Late

Dear Too Little: Every divorced couple is different. Many remain friendly with each other. Those who have children together have a lifelong bond, no matter how old the kids are. The in-laws may still consider the ex to be part of the family and so invite her to all of their functions. That is their business, not yours. While giving her money is not necessary, your boyfriend is not going to stop contacting his ex simply because you don’t like it. If you cannot deal with that, better to get out now.

————

Dear Annie: I am 61 years old and own my own home. I am retired and live off of my investments. I have lived in this house for 30 years and have taken good care of it.

I’ve been dating “Ralph” for five months, although I’ve known him for 20 years. Ralph’s house is worth twice as much as mine, and he’s hinting that if we marry, I should move into his home. I love his house, but if we marry and he predeceases me, I could not afford the taxes, mortgage and maintenance on such an expensive place. He’s already told me that he is leaving everything to his adult children. He claims I don’t need his assets unless I get sick.

I moved a lot when I was young. I have no children and want the security of knowing that I will not have to move again unless it’s to a nursing home. Ralph is very nice, but I’d rather live in my own house.

Also, he doesn’t want me to meet his daughters yet, so I don’t know whether they will accept his having a girlfriend, let alone a wife.

— Nancy

Dear Nancy: Tell Ralph you’d like to take things more slowly and not discuss marriage until you have met his children. But Ralph also could speak to a lawyer about setting up a trust that would pay the mortgage, taxes and maintenance on his house and allow you to live there until your death (whereupon it reverts to his children). If that would ease your mind, please look into it.

————

Dear Annie: I feel sure that, were she to pick up pen and paper, my mother would be among those parents wailing over their “heartless” children “abandoning” them. My mother would say that she was a loving, wonderful parent, and I’m sure she believes it.

Annie, this is a woman who told me every day that she wished she’d aborted me. When I was very little, she helpfully explained the term so I would know exactly what she meant. Very rarely are abusive parents capable of comprehending that they are, in fact, abusive. There is no child on Earth who wants to not have parents. If your kids have cut you out of their lives, there is a reason, and that reason is you.

— S.

————

Annie’s Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column. Please email your questions to [email protected], or write to: Annie’s Mailbox, c/o Creators Syndicate, 737 3rd Street, Hermosa Beach, CA 90254. To find out more about Annie’s Mailbox and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate Web page at www.creators.com.

— Creators Syndicate Inc.

Comments

comments

Creators Syndicate

  • Recent Posts

  • Enter your email address to subscribe to this newspaper and receive notifications of new articles by email.

  • .

    News

    Coroner confirms West Davis deaths were murder-suicide

    By Lauren Keene | From Page: A1 | Gallery

     
    Special playground dedication slated

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A1

     
    Bob Dunning: Wrap your head around our MRAP need

    By Bob Dunning | From Page: A2

    Solo crash kills Woodland man, 22

    By Lauren Keene | From Page: A2

     
    Officials say Iran nuke talks will continue in new phase

    By The Associated Press | From Page: A2

    Police: Missing athlete died on freeway

    By The Associated Press | From Page: A2

     
    French eye cockpit entry rules

    By The Associated Press | From Page: A2

     
    ‘Old Autos’ at Hattie Weber Museum

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A3

    Davis tops list of best schools for the buck

    By Jeff Hudson | From Page: A4

     
    Lenten giving project highlights climate justice

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A4 | Gallery

    DCCNS plans open house April 8

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A4

     
    Parent-child open house previews new Waldorf classes

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A4

    Summer garden alert!

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A4

     
    Davis FFA and ag students host plant sale

    By Anne Ternus-Bellamy | From Page: A4

    Poker tourney benefits DMTC

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A4

     
    Camp Shakespeare begins Saturday

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A4

    Pence Gallery recruiting volunteers

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A5

     
    Move over, Muggles

    By Wayne Tilcock | From Page: A5

    Tour de Cluck has selected its coops

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A5 | Gallery

     
    CBH hosts Passover Community Potluck Seder

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A5

    City extends nomination period for Huynh Awards

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A5

     
    Parenting class meets Tuesdays

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A5

     
    Neighbors invited to adopt Willow Creek Park

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A5

    Yolo animal shelter seeks donations

    By Lauren Keene | From Page: A5Comments are off for this post

     
    RSVP for Gerber Young Community Leader reception

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A5

    Meeting examines Northstar Pond priorities

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A6

     
    Pets of the week

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A7 | Gallery

    .

    Forum

    Why can’t we be friends?

    By Creators Syndicate | From Page: B5

     
    Maybe he loves the outdoors …

    By Creators Syndicate | From Page: B5

    A California comeback for gerrymandering?

    By Tom Elias | From Page: A8

     
    César Chávez’s peaceful civil disobedience forged a great legacy

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A8

    A conversation about power

    By Letters to the Editor | From Page: A8

     
    .

    Sports

    A very palpable hit

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: B1 | Gallery

     
     
    Over the years, The Show has been a reach for Davis

    By Bruce Gallaudet | From Page: B1 | Gallery

    UC Davis opens hopeful spring football camp

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: B1

     
    UCD roundup: Sleiffer seals Aggie tennis victory over Montana

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: B2 | Gallery

    Grizzlies beat Kings to end three-game skid

    By The Associated Press | From Page: B10 | Gallery

     
    Snubbed Temple, returning Stanford highlight NIT semis

    By The Associated Press | From Page: B10

    .

    Features

    .

    Arts

    30 years of dance in Davis with Pamela Trokanski

    By Chloe Lessard | From Page: A1 | Gallery

     
    ‘A Year with Frog and Toad’ a delightful family show

    By Bev Sykes | From Page: A9 | Gallery

    Mischief to play at Picnic in the Park

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A9 | Gallery

     
    Yolo Mambo will play at winery

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A9

    Thursday Live! plans a blues party

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A9

     
    Jane Lynch performance rescheduled to August

    By Jeff Hudson | From Page: A9 | Gallery

    Hear some April Fool’s night jazz

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A9

     
    Dance the night away at house party

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A9

     
    .

    Business

    .

    Obituaries

    .

    Comics

    Comics: Tuesday, March 31, 2015 (set 1)

    By Creator | From Page: B5

     
    Comics: Tuesday, March 31, 2015 (set 2)

    By Creator | From Page: B7